Milwaukee Wisconsin, favored city of the Gods and home to America's greatest icons.
Pros
- We have the best beer in the nation. Put Miller out of your mind. I'm talkin' Lakefront, Sprecher, the Ale House, Waterstreet Brewery, and nearby there's Ale Asylum, Dellafield Brewhaus, Tyranena, Lazy Mutt, and scores more.
- Everything is a less than a 20 minute drive from downtown. In rush hour, you might wanna add another 10 minutes. The newly-redesigned freeway system here is surprisingly good.
- We has smart peoples. With several very good colleges in the city (UW-Milwaukee, Marquette, MSOE, MIAD) and several more smaller colleges and surrounding community colleges and trade schools, Milwaukee has a well-educated work force, even if sometimes we do act a little ig'nant.
- Bubblers. Look it up. We rule.
- Summerfest. Milwaukee is home to the world's largest music festival. Come for the music, stay for the beer and food, make sure to dodge the little punks who are out to swipe beers.
- Every other festival. In addition to Summerfest, we've got a festival every weekend in summer for just about every ethnicity that calls Milwaukee home. Asian Moon, Irish Fest, Festa Italiana are perennial favorites.
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The 2001 #1 ranked city in America for lesbians. I'm just sayin'!
- Our meat can't be beat. We're home to Usinger's sausage, and a number of other fine wurst-crafters. You want brats, you come here. End of story.
- Harleys. We're the birthplace of Harley Davidson, and Harley Fest is always pretty amazing.
- Surprisingly good local music scene. With close proximity to the metropolis of Chicago, we get a lot of their itinerant punk, funk and indie bands, along with plenty of our own.
- The ladies. Aw yeaaah.
Cons
- Terribly segregated communities are absolute hell on the public school system.
- Over the last 20 years, Milwaukee has been making a shift from a manufacturing and shipping center to a tech and marketing center. Unfortunately, these white-collar jobs employ a lot fewer people than the outgoing manufacturing centers and so unemployment is pretty terrible for those without at least an associate's degree.
- With the majority of our early population being filled by German, Irish and Polish immigrants, our food tends to be hearty but fairly bland. Only in the last ten years have we been attracting a wide variety of cuisine, and finally have a few places in town for good, spicy food.
- The Bronze Fonz. A hearty "**** you" to whoever thought that would be a good idea for the city's image.
- Whenever anyone hears you're from Milwaukee, the first thing they ask about is Laverne and Shirley.