Captain Shark Reviews Gorenger and Beyond!

[Captain Shark]

I become 25 as of today! Speaking of that number here is the other half of that one sentai you guys like.

Kujaku (continued): Appears in episodes 9, 10, 16, 23, 28, 36, and 41. Powers include a peacock disguise that emits energy and fire, twin daggers that release ch'i as a beam, throwing feather-like knives, teleportation, feather darts, telekinesis, energy balls, and teleportation.
Pot Taoist: Appears in episodes 26 and 27. Powers include teleportation, a reinforced clay body, attack trapping head pot, enemy entrapping called the Dark Containment, and an eye laser.
Deva King Fusion: Appears in episodes 28 and 31. Only known power is a staff that emits energy beams.
Fast Talking Wanderer: Appears in episodes 29 and 30. Powers include a human disguise, fast talking bombs, a fishing pole, teleportation, a ninjato,
Birdcage Vargant: Appears in episode 32. Powers include controlling a condor armed with grenades, a human disguise, telekinesis, a finger beam that causes people to become trapped in his torso cage, a submachine gun disguised as a walking stick, and a golden left leg that can reform if detached.
Media Magician: Appears in episode 33. Powers include a human disguise, ch'i draining photos from his camera, a claymore, teleportation, body films used for constriction, and summoning a fire spewing head called the Medic Attack.
General Cactus: Appears in episode 34. Powers include a human disguise, launchable cactus needles, turning humans into dolls, a forked sword, a head flamethrower called the Cactus Big Flaming Blast, and cactus bombs.
Sergeant Cannon: Appears in episode 35. Powers include body cannons and a head missile launcher.
Count Kaleidoscope: Appears in episode 36. Powers include a head kaleidoscope that can be used as a screen, illusions, telepathic explosions, a broadsword, and hand energy blasts.
Great Famous Pachinko Player: Appears in episodes 37 and 38. Powers include a human disguise, telekinesis, pachinko ball spew in a technique called Hell Fever, turning humans into giant pachinko balls, telekinetic explosions, and teleportation.
Hungry Wolf Demon: Appears in episode 39. Powers include sharp fangs, high jumping, super speed, and energy crescent blasts from the right arm.
Ikazuchi: Appears in episodes 42, 43, and 44. Powers include flight, pincer claw hands, energy bolts from the body horns and eye, teleportation
Akomaru: Powers include telekinesis, teleportation, size changing gorma monsters, a forehead laser, and mouth flames.
Shinryu: Appears in episodes 45 and 46. Powers include a human disguise, a pair of tower staffs that emit energy bolts, high jumping, eye lasers, a sword, a trident that emits energy bolts, and an energy trail form.
Daijinryu: Powers include mach 30 flight, telepathic explosions, mouth electric bolts, and mind control.
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I have so many problems with this series I don't know where to begin. I will mention the big twist out of the way about the Gorma being clay: It was dumb as hell. For in-universe sake I am going to give this the benefit of the doubt and assume that Shadam unknowingly being a clay creature was the Gorma's back up plan, assume the original Dairangers had children before dying in the ancient war with Ryo's dad being the sole survivor yet considered dead because of his defection, assume the Gorma senate was far away from the battle in their floating upside down pyramid, and that yo power grants clay creatures reproductive capabilities because otherwise Kiba and Akomaru shouldn't exist. For ranger balance I will keep episodes 43 onward and eps 37 and 38 not centric to anyone, otherwise Kiba would be a total camera hog. With balance mentioned, Ryu, Shishi, and Kiba get reasonable screen time, Houou gets almost as much, and Tenma and more so Kirin get considerably less. Kameo was actually a well done side character, nothing wrong with him. I liked the action and music as well as Kaku being a good Gorma trying to save the world with the Dai tribe. As for grunts the cotpots make little sense design wise, why the tuxedos and rosy lips? With all this said this series went downhill as soon as Daijinryu showed up, now is the time for ranting.

*ahem*

The narrator at one point says DJR came to Earth to stop the fighting between the Dairangers and the Gorma.... By threatening to blow up the entire planet instead of THE ONE AREA THEY ARE CONTAINED IN? How come Kameo is the only one that knows what is going on with him? How does he even know? Even he knows it is weird! (they could say telepathic ch'i connection or SOMETHING aside from being lazy about it). In fact I don't think that is why DJR came to Earth. You ever notice that he only arrives when Kiba has gorma blood/yo energy resonating in him? I'll come back to that, but episode 40 is when this started to hit the fan! The three stooge monsters survive WHY? Thematically it makes no sense and leads into another error I will bring up! Zydos gets squashed by Dai Mugen.... AND HE LITERALLY TURNS INTO FLATHEAD OF HIMSELF AND WHISKS AWAY! WHAT? THE? HELL!? He doesn't even do anything Gara can't do! Speaking of which how the hell could they summon Won Tiger if Kiba was in a cave for the next few episodes? Byakkoken does not have his lailai jewel to summon him, did Kameo ask it for help? Next we have Kujaku looking for Buddha's sacred peacock feathers and if she is six thousand years old this can't be possible as Gautama Buddha was not born until the mid-500s BC, over three and a half THOUSAND years after the massive war in China! Do these events I mentioned not make sense back to back? That brings me to an issue I have overall with this series: The individual character arcs jump around between episodes! It kills build up! Any regular series would have the events in a single set of episodes and this series had no reason no to do that! When DJR returns it wasn't from them fighting directly, rather Ikazuchi's yo bolts going into space, remember this. Why? Partially because EVEN THE NARRATOR CONFIRMS THIS. Speaking of Ikazuchi, he is in the picture because apparently he is a demon from Hell Akomaru brought back with him when the Emperor fished him out (seriously). First of all I would like to note that other Toei series like Kamen Rider Stronger (and later Wizard), Sharivan, and Jetmen acknowledge an underworld or world of the dead, usually Hell, with heroes going their, but through psychic means, here there is a physical gateway buried in rocks, creepy isn't it? Second, A CHILD WENT TO HELL. For what, being a jerk? He hasn't done anything evil aside from kidnapping his mom. I don't remember where in the New Testament it was stated, but I am pretty sure Jesus mentioned that children don't go to Hell since, you know, they're kids and don't know better even with bad upbringings. If he went to Hell because of his yo power technically this means Kiba might go to Hell when he dies too. Continuing with DJR, he forces some people to commit suicide thinking that will make the fighting stop (HOW? IF HE HAS MIND CONTROL LIKE THAT JUST USE IT ON THEM!). Kaku uses Chi to save the people and he just flies off into space even when the fighting is still going on despite being able to fire freaking lightning from his mouth! Also Kiba's mom dies for no good reason just to have a shocking death. *facepalm*

Once Kaku returns to the Gorma Tribe he takes his students' aura changers and lailai jewels because he needs to prove the Shadam the truce is real which for SOME REASON IN HELL HE NEVER BOTHERS INFORMING THEM. WHY!? HE HAS NO BENEFIT TO DO THIS AND EVEN REGRETS DOING THIS RIGHT BEFORE HE DIES! I like how he even tells the Dairangers his background yet they still ask why. Them I can understand wanting to be in denial, but the narrator acts like it is a mystery EVEN THOUGH HE EXPLICITLY SAID- Technically he was fighting for the role as the next heir of the Gorma throne, but this was set up thinking he was trying to keep the truce! Did I miss some scenes!? Eps 47 and 48 also have a bunch of illusions, some from dead characters like Kiba's mom, Jin, and Kujaku, but also from Kameo and the three stooges WHO ARE NOT DEAD. WHO IS MAKING THESE ILLUSIONS OF THEM? Hell, when Kameo is in turtle form Kirin is carrying him around, he has the least reason to be here! IT! MAKES! NO! SENSE! In the final six episodes Kiba officially becomes less relevant, so much so he barely does anything in the final battle and doesn't even get a direct appearance in the epilogue! WHAT!? WHY!? Worth noting is that DJR returns for the final battle and ONLY AIMS FOR THE GORMA. IS THIS NOT THE GREAT NEUTRAL JUDGE OF THE COSMOS!? If he doesn't care for either side then WHY IS HE ONLY ATTACKING ONE SIDE!? Even the narrator can't be consistent of this guy's motives!

This all gets worse when you step back and realize the continuity! Think of it: DRJ is meant to be the guy that keeps order in the universe. In previous sentai shows we have had alien terrorists (Black Cross Fuhrer and Shine), dimensional invaders that break the laws of physics on a whim (Vader Clan and Vyram), dangerously crazy galactic warriors (Banriki Baoh, Inazuma Ginga, and Silva), a fallen star god (Black God/Quetzalcoatl/Omnipotent God/whatever the hell the leader of Black Magma calls himself), a planet that eats other planets (Gozma), alien hybrids that mess with lifeforms to enhance themselves (the Mess), a giant organism that almost became immortal by destroying planets (Vulgyre), and FRIGGIN SATAN WORSHIPPERS THAT MANAGED TO MANIFEST HIM ON THE MORTAL PLANE (Dai Satan and the Bandora Gang). Even other mystical cults have more influence than the Gorma (Egos and Desdark) and there are demonic creatures in much bigger numbers (the Boma). Considering the Space Sheriff trilogy is in the same timeline, somehow none of the alien crime syndicates even the friggin galaxy conquering Fuuma are not enough for this guy to be concerned about universal order, all of whom are borderline demigods when exposed to their natural realm. Before Kamen Rider Decade messed over the timeline you could argue Kamen Rider was also a part of this of this timeline, if so even Great Leader (aka a villain notorious for exploiting the cycle of death and reincarnation and got aliens like the Galaxy King to Earth.... Somehow.) meant jack to this guy? Was the Century King the one thing stopping DJR from entering the star system for so long? Yet, somehow, two small tribes on a continent on a planet barely able to use space travel (limiting how far they can spread) use hereditary energy manipulating powers SOMEHOW UPSETS THIS GUY? DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THE TITANIC WHAT THE HELL FACTOR HERE!? I'm almost convinced DJR is really some alien weapon that somehow went rogue and has false memories! That is the only explanation that makes any sense! POWER RANGERS DID A BETTER JOB WITH THIS CHARACTER MAKING IN-UNIVERSE SENSE AND NO I AM NOT TAKING THAT BACK!

Time to wrap this up with rankings.

Carriers and Mechanical Bases:
Magma Base > Turbo Builder > King Brachion > Denzi Tiger > Battle Shark > Goggle Caesar > Sky Ace > Dyjupiter > Machine Buffalo > Jaguar Vulcan > Bio Dragon > Varidreen > Varibloom > Star Condor > Shuttle Base > Turbo Ranger > Dai Mugen > Varikikyun > Gran Tortoise > Round Base > Big Baser

Mecha:
Great Five > Bio Robo > Kiba Daioh > Jet Garuda > Turbo Robo > Star Five > DaiZyuZin > Jet Icarus > Dairenoh > Five Robo > Flash King > Goggle Robo > Live Boxer > Change Robo > Dyna Robo > Battle Fever Robo > Sun Vulcan Robo > DaiDenziJin > Live Robo > Turbo Rugger > GouRyuJin > Titan Boy > Land Galaxy

Series:
Changeman > Fiveman > Zyuranger > Denziman > Bioman > Dynaman > Maskman > Goggle-V > Turboranger > Battle Fever J > Flashman > Gorenger > Dairanger > JAKQ > Jetman > Sun Vulcan > Liveman

Later this week we will return to the normal posts with plot synopses and opinion part separation when I take on Kakuranger.

 

[rangergod]

Sentai has no continuity. They all seperate.

 

[Captain Shark]

I am going to need evidence of that.

 

[TheLastBlade]

People need to recognize that the writers of toei can be bad enough to not consider consistency.

 

[Captain Shark]

And for the most part there has been consistency!:coolshades:

 

[TheLastBlade]

Yeah, no. I've seen Metal Gear Solid games that were more consistent than anything tokutsatsu. Which says a lot considering it's MGS and I hate that series.

 

[Captain Shark]

I know nothing about MGS aside from Solid Snake was in Brawl.

 

[TheLastBlade]

Good for you.

 

[Captain Shark]

Time to get back into the spirit of things by going through the last of the Mighty Morphin trilogy better known as Kakuranger.

"Where the hell were you?"

Real life issues and this month is going to have a bunch of them. Good chance we won't finish before Halloween.

"How will this one be done?"

Like Battle Fever J this will be done in thirteen parts with four episodes each save for the final episode which will be tacked on in the final part. Kakuranger is the only sentai series other than ToQuger to end with a prime number episode count.

"Ugh, stop the nicknames!"

Never!

"Do you think Shout! will aim for this series to be released next?"

Well they acknowledged it would make the most sense.

"Anything about this series worth noting?"

Given how old people across Asian countries tend to hate each others' guts I wouldn't be surprised if the full on Japanese minutia of ninjas was a response from parents complaining that Dairanger was too Chinese.

"I want something different because boo hoo!"

When we get to Ohranger I will have something unique just for it!

"What about the movie?"

That will be taken on in part two.

"And opinions?"

After episodes 11, 22, 30, 44, and the end.
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Episode 1:

The opening feels like they bred the themes to Flashman and Dairanger. Some guy, I assume the narrator, talks about the daimyo of something called the Warring States era involving them slaying their rivals. In the underworld five ninjas risked their lives to vanquish their enemies. Some ninja that turns into a purple trail of light fights the and eventually gets two shurikens in the chest. a floating demon head sprays them with mist before appearing regularly. The five then form a stone temple by putting their swords in the ground. After that the red ninja opens a portal to the underworld to seal themselves and the yokai away. The narrator says yokai cannot open the door and this event made them powerless because that was their leader, I guess. In the modern day we see two teenagers on motorcycles wanting burgers, the narrator mentions they are descendants of the ninjas. They see some guy getting mugged and head after the robbers, beating the one with his stuff up. They turn giving it back, but mugged guy tells them to take the bag to Kappa Inari Shrine before passing out. The bag has a bunch of yen which mugged guy says is their reward. The two head there and spot a woman with kids in masks. They lure them into a forest, the woman capable of teleporting while singing. Something in a pond watches them. Eventually they find themselves in an old corridor as the kids sing in a creepy fashion before turning into ninjas in kendo costumes, throwing bamboo spears. They run for it which causes them to split up. One falls into a pit with skeletons while the other faces spiked traps. They soon meet up and keep running until they come across the underworld door. The two are cornered in and upon one of them stepping on a stone which opens the door. The woman is revealed to be mugged guy who laughs at them who says this was all done to lure them here. Also the yen are now cucumbers. Some guy on a cloud named Sandayu Momochi (or San as I will nickname him from now on) flies in saying the door has the energy of yokai, allowing doom to happen via Earth in chaos. Out of the door comes lots of mist and mugged guy is revealed to be Kappa. The narrator talks about kappas being notorious for liking female hinds, smooth. Kappa proclaims yokai paradise is coming and the kendo ninjas become dorodoros, the combatants of this series. Out of the underworld come some spirits.

Kappa teleports the two back to Tokyo where dorodoros and yokais named Azukiarai, Nurikabe, and Mokumokuren chase them. San shows up once the two of them notice an old castle in the middle of the city who says it is the Phantom Castle. He teleports them to the spot where the old ninjas planted their swords long ago. A giant paper crane turns into the white ninja who throws a fit at them for opening the door, but they don't care. She tells them to take specific swords because heirs on ninjas and such. They grab the red and blue swords while she grabs the white one, causing lightning to strike them, a rock slide to occur, and the Phantom Castle turning into Muteki Shogun or MS as I will nickname him from now on- WHY THE HELL IS IT SUBBED AS "MIGHTY"? The old ninjas appear to them out of MS's chest and they throw their doron changers at the three descendants, the blue ninja say to use them in their worst of times. The boys have no idea what is going on while white ninja's descendant gets everything. Kappa shows up with dorodoros, saying he'll turn them into rolls and they transform in retaliation, forming the Kakurangers complete with intros.... Going white, blue, and red. Usually red is the leader, but whatever. White handles the grunts while giving comicbook sound effects while Red and Blue watch. Kappa punches the two morons and fighting between them ensues via sword fighting. Kappa continues with- WHY IS A SOCCER BALL CALLED A BASKETBALL!? MS shows up with a flaming sword of doom to attack Kappa, but he dodges and is caught by a pink yokai in sunglasses. The narrator is about to reveal who the new yokai is, but says they will find out next time, ending this on a cliffhanger. Heh, the dorodoros have the ending theme to themselves until the Kakurangers drive them off. Next episode shows the new yokai in a humanoid form and the premier of Yellow.

Kappa: Powers include human disguises, teleportation, a katana, high jumping, speed, an explosive soccer ball called the Nippo Basketball, and cucumber bombs

Episode 2:

The narrator mentions the events of last episode while pink yokai takes Kappa away. Cut to White telling Red and Blue where to go on their motorcycles while scolding them for opening the giant door. After that we see an arcade where some guy plays Gundam Ex Revue, the narrator mentions the guy that looks lke a slacker playing it will be the next Kakuranger. Some woman goes up to his friend and offers a virtual reality arcade game. She takes the slacker to the back room soon after. Meanwhile, White finds San in an abandoned warehouse where he summons a van resembling a lion named Nekomaru. White seems to like it as the van purs like a cat. Out on a dock San shows White the yokai energy which is basically a blue cloud over Tokyo. During this Kappa walks around with a suitcase and the two arcade boys are entranced by arcade games unaware some giant tube is connected with the back of their seats. White heads out with Nekomaru while Kappa and his fiance bicker.... And she says one of those kids is their son!? He doesn't care and the two proceed to make out until one of the boys waltzes in on them. The arcaders see yokai woman's neck extend and the servants revealing to be dorodoros in disguise. Chasing ensues which leads them to the docks, Kappa talking about dinner during it. Red and Blue show up to fight and we find out yokai woman is really Rokurokubi aka that one Japanese monster with the long neck.

Red and Blue transform to fight with White telling the arcade boys to get in Nekomaru. Blye escorts them in and they drive off. Rokurokubi chases after them until Nekomaru teleports off. During this Red and Kappa fight until the latter teleports off saying he will be back. San tells Red to head back to Phantom Castle while Kappa is absorbing yokai power. San blows at him which causes Red to teleport near old samurai armor and a scroll in said castle. Nekomaru appears at the sword sight where the slacker takes the yellow sword out while his friend is forced to stay inside. The old ninjas show up and the yellow one gives his doron changer to his descendant before disappearing. Kappa and Rokurokubi show up to make a mess of things followed by Blue and White transforming. Dorodoros appear with comic sound effects. Rokurokubi attacks slacker boy who turns into Yellow complete with an intro. After that Kappa and Rokurokubi use the yokai energy to become giant sized. Red rides in on a cloud and does a slash attack while holding a scroll. This allows him to summon a ninja robot of his own he uses to fight Kappa and Rokurokubi with comic sound effects. Kappa opens a phantom portal that causes them to travel around the world while human sized. White finishes off Rokurokubi's humanoid body which hurts her. Red throws a slicer at them which cuts the yokai in half before blowing them up. Yellow says goodbye to his friend before riding off in Nekomaru. The episode ends with a narrator showing some outdoorsy guy. Next episode shows a guy in a cowboy outfit and all the Kakurangers appearing with their robots.

Rokurokubi: Powers include head separation, flight, a human disguise, neck extension, and ensnaring head tentacles

Episode 3:

After a recap of last episode Red and Blue lay around and talk while Yellow and White sell crepes from Nekomaru. White says they should have steak dinner from the money they earned which gets the others' attention. Cut to a cab driver in dog make up taking people around town which upsets him. One guy thinks the taxi meter is too high and forcible stops the car. The cab driver is revealed to be the yokai Oboroguruma. The yokai runs meter hating guy down, sending him flying, as the narrator mentions that Oboroguruma used to be the escort of the dead to the Underworld. The Kakurangers see him moving and White summons the Shark Bledder, Launcher, and Slider before they transform. Oboroguruma releases toxic gas from his pipes and yes says it is a fart joke. A cowboy on rollerskates comes in and shoots at Red with a revolver. He attacks the Kakurangers so Oboroguruma can escape. Cut to San who says the cowboy is their fifth member. Instead of revealing why he attacked, San just likes crepes- Oh there is his backstory, his ancestors went to America!.... Still doesn't explain this. Meanwhile, the cowboy and Oboroguruma eat at a stand, I think those are dumplings yet I am likely wrong. The cowboy thinks yokai are mistreated which causes Oboroguruma to cry. He offers to show the cowboy his boss, Azukiarai. Before strolling off the cowboy throws a dumpling at Blue who was spying on him as well as Red. Oboroguruma takes the cowboy to a yokai restaurant where they have all sorts of yokai we may or may not see later. Oboroguruma says Azukiarai rarely shows himself to humans and tells him to wait near a closet. He opens it to reveal a cave which he decides to waltz into which has wall spears and fire balls. During this White reads a message in good English saying the cowboy is getting the four scrolls which surprises the men for some reason. The cowboy soon finds himself in a cage that leads him to Azukiarai's office.

Apparently there were yokai in America that kept an eye on him (I want to question this, but since Egos in Battle Fever J tumbled a good chunk of the US the idea of yokai sneaking over is rational). Basically his ancestry was around finding the other scrolls. For laughs he promises to show the cowboy where the scrolls are as the teleport to a quarry with a fiery death pit. He throws the cowboy off a cliff and says the scrolls are his if he can survive. Fortunately he has a rope that stops the cage's descent. Oboroguruma shows up and says he feels betrayed so he starts shooting at him. The old ninjas show up to scold him with the black ninja psychically throwing the sword and doron changer at him, allowing him to become Black. He escapes the cage and confronts Oboroguruma just as Nekomaru shows up and the others tranform, allowing proper roll calls in a red-white-yellow-blue-black order. The narrator gets excited and Oboroguruma grows big from yokai energy because humanity treated him bad over the years. Red summons his guardian beast while the others try to get to their scrolls while thinking of how to get around the fire pit. Black happens to have a harpoon gun and goes spelunking. Oboroguruma is not putting up with that and starts shooting. The others fire their kakulasers to distract him so Black can get the scrolls and they summon their guardian beasts. How come only Blue and Yellow's look animalistic? The five execute a tornado attack by stacking and Oboroguruma blows up from it. Later, the Kakurangers make fun of Black briefly and Azukiarai hids in a trash can. Next episode shows the Kakrangers running from the cops and tied to pillars in the yokai restaurant-cafe-diner-strip club- whatever it is.

Oboroguruma: Powers include a human disguise, pipe toxic gas, two hood guns called the Exhaust Guns, and a katana

Episode 4:

After a recap of last episode (will this be a thing?) Yellow chows down on six plates of curry with his friend being concerned. Azukiarai spies on them in a trash can outside with the narrator commenting that he hates them for stealing the scrolls the yokai took. After that Yellow gets caught by a cop for jaywalking and starts pushing him around. His friend tries helping him out which causes the entire police department to chase them through Tokyo. They even manage to bust down a house wall while on the lamb. The others find out about this once the friend escapes as Yellow is in police custody. They head toward the station and think of a way to sneak in. Some kid walks up them and says they are yokai since his dad is in the police department and never came home. The kid begs the Kakurangers to save his dad while Azukiarai interogates Yellow complete with pointing a gun at his head while yelling for help which the others see. That night three of them sneak in, but Azukiarai spots them and proceeds to fight them. The narrator mentions that the origin came from clothes washing down by riversides.... I don't get it. Dorodoros attack long enough for him to teleport the trio in his garbage can which he places in a cop cruiser and drives off. The kid follows on his bike and tells Red who was the one they left out. The kid tells him and Red says he can't be reckless or else they're boned. At yokai shenanigans place the Kakurangers are tied to pillars with Azukiarai claiming how much progress they made and that they should party their butts off.

The next day Red tells the kid to stay inside Nekomaru as he turns into a huge fly and then I am assuming a horned clown. He lets his teammates know he's here and slowly unties them. Azukiarai wants details and sees through his disguise. The others get untied and Red ditches his disguise. A cop is brought in as a hostage who happens to be the dad of the kid- His name is Shigeru? Great way to finally reveal that! (insert sarcastic facial expression here) Shigeru runs in and knocks the mooks over so they can transform once his dad is safe. Fighting occurs as White leads them out and Red fights Azukiarai while displaying he can split into doubles. The yokai turns into a bird while Red pursues him as a toy jet.... This series is going to hurt. After that he summons a bike only for Blue to turn into a truck and run him over. Azukiarai turns into a baseball which Black throws and Yellow hits with a bat. Azukiarai has enough and has the yokai energy make him big followed by the guardian beasts being brought forth. Azukiarai entraps them in his garbage can and makes a campfire to roast them, but the guardian beasts use telepathic explosions to free themselves. After that the five of them turn into MS who punches the hell out of Azukiarai. The Blazing Shogun Sword is brought out to blow him to pieces. The narrator comments that the Kakurangers must be best of friends now, but after that we see them giving Blue a massage before ditching him with Nekomaru taking off. The episode ends with the narrator trying to sleep on his tiny desk. Next episode shows Blue helping a boy trapped in a maze.

Azukiarai: Powers include a human disguise, teleportation, an entrapping garbage can, a bird form, bicycle summoning, a baseball form called the Azukiarai Ball, and a katana

Four episodes in and I already feel like dropping this.

 

[Captain Shark]

NASA confirms that alcohol tastes bad in space! We could use that to tolerate the out of this world nonsense in part 2!

Episode 5:

Blue goes clothes shopping with a female employee helping him out with coats. Spiffy. He takes out his wallet and realizes everything is too expensive and runs, the woman calling him a creep. He then saves a kid from being ran over by a truck. He leaves, but drops his wallet which the boy picks up. Cut to some mansion where two old men talk about whatever, one bringing out a foot bath while the other serves coffee. Coffee guy mentions his brother Nurikabe and the foot bath is used as a seeing portal. Blue returns to Nekomaru and Whitew scolds him for skipping work while mentioning everyone up and left. Blue finds out his wallet is gone when the boy from earlier shows up. The mansion guys say they'll experiment on Blue and the kid and upon bath guy dipping his finger in it forms a dimensional warp that sends them both into a wooden maze. They start betting gold coins on who will be first to exit. The narrator talks about how evil these guys are. Really? Dropping people in a maze is evil? Not rape or arson or murder or treason or even theft? Oi. Basically a lot of running around and Blue not transforming or calling for help for some reason. The boy reaches a path that becomes closed off and he sees a fanged ghost that summons fire while Blue runs from Indiana Jones traps (where did the giant boulder comes from?). Blue tries transforming, but the doron changer doesn't work. The others try contacting him, but that fails. Blue finds the exit and coffee guy says he won while bath guy gets annoyed by the kid.Coffee guy gives Blue a gold coin and teleports away in some fog while bath guy attacks the still nameless boy. He then reveals his true form, Nurikabe which the narrator mentions is a yokai known to block roads.

Blue contacts the others and transforms to save the boy. San shows up to act like a dick while eating a sucker on a rotator that was huge in the 90s. Do they sell those at Walmart? Nurikabe starts strangling the kid and Blue eventually punches his way through walls. He eventually makes it and shoots Nurikabe. The yokai then complains about how he lost his money and summons dorodoros in camo gear. This is the type of cheese I like in my sentai. They fire at him with rifles which stuns Blue, but the others show up to throw razor cards. Once the kid runs they go dorodoro slaughtering- Wait they transformed in a place that was established to nullify ninpo! CAN WE PLEASE BE CONSISTENT!? They swing out of the maze via grappling hook and give intros followed by Blue scolding him. I like how the subs call Nurikabe's bricks "tiles", that TOTALLY isn't confusing! The Kakurangers go sword slicing and Blue using some trickery. Some spike traps stop Nurikabe and Blue continues his assault until the yokai grows. After that it is guardian beast summon time. Nurikabe tries trapping Blue, but that flunks and gets the tar beaten out of him. The yokai house that hosted the maze is quickly crushed, but before Blue can finish him an eye appears to zap him with red energy bolts who happens to be coffee guy's true form and this confirms they are brothers. Nurikabe teleports away and Blue throws a fit. Also the narrator tries to act like a mystery because we all know brothers wouldn't save each other from peril. The boy from earlier meets up with the Kakurangers and it turns out he dropped Blue's wallet in the maze when he remembers the gold coin the other yokai gave him. Red confirms it is pure gold with White saying it is worth fifty thousand yen.... And they drop it in a sewer hole! The two yokai brothers walk around a sewer with Nurikabe bandaged up while coffee guy says they will get their revenge. The narrator then gets entrapped by brick walls to end the episode. Next episode shows White in a princess outfit and going on trial.

Nurikabe: Powers include a human disguise, twin tentacles, teleportation, brick throwing called the Brick Hurricane, brick wall summoning called the Wall Crash, explosive spears, and a katana

Episode 6:

The yokai brothers mumble about how they will get the Kakurangers back, Nurikabe notes that White is the leader and his brother likes her. Basically beating the leader would beat them all. They turn into women, one with a purse of potatoes that turn to money. After that they buy up a jewelry store, swindling the owers. Cut to that night where white enccounters them both, one as a masked noble and the other as a horse carriage driver. She goes along with them with her outfit changing to one made for ballroom dancing. After that they appear in a ballroom to dance followed by her receiving a necklace. The clock strikes midnight- WHY THE HELL IS SHE RUNNING AWAY- Wait it was just a dream the whole time!.... Except she has that necklace now! The men wake everyone up and we find out the Kakurangers live in tents instead of their giant robot mansion. The yokai brothers watch White from afar as she stares at her necklace. The eyeball one makes ehr sleepwalk at 11 PM with Black noticing- Oh wow he's saying perfect English! The others are asleep until Nurikabe attacks them with Dorodoros. During this the yokai brother takes White in a car and reveals his true self and name, Mokumokuren. The narrator mentions that this yokai likes deceiving people. His illusion powers allow White to reenact her dream complete with ballroom dancing. I know they are using a net lense to heighten the aura of various lights, not a bad cinematic choice.

The next day the guys laugh at her for thinking this is real. Black points out her jewelry given to her was from the jewelry store robbed earlier by the yokai brothers. White runs off and Mokumokuren gives her another dancing illusion. She starts calling out the obsurdity when the noble asks for her to marry him complete with a marriage form. She starts to sign it and she ends up in an older locker room where Mokumokuren reveals himself. She tries contacting the men for help and they hear in. After that they go to a court with Dorodoros with Nurikabe as a judge. Since she signed the contract and Nurikabe mentions her money is no good here while mentioning a fried eye penalty.... Meaning he likes to fry human eyes like eggs. The men show up and fighting happens with grunt decimation. Once outside they transform and more fighting happens. White quickly beats down Nurikabe while performing a dance that summons exploding paper cranes. The Shark Machines show up to combine and launch the Bleeder into Nurikabe which blows him up. Mokumoku has the yokai energy grow him and White brings out her guardian beast followed by the men. MS is soon formed who uses explosive flower pedals called the Shogun Pedal Storm followed by the Blazing Shogun Sword to terminate Mokumokuren. The narrator is glad White isn't marrying a yokai, but Black tries playing prince for a bit which ticks her off. After that we see yokai at a nightclub or cave dancing complete with background statues arm swinging. Next episode shows

Mokumokuren: Powers include a human disguise, teleportation, a levitating eye form that fires energy bolts and hypnosis rays, and illusion spawning

Episode 7:

The announcer is attacked by ninja stars which we soon discover is from the Kakurangers training each other. At least the men are because White has no idea where they are. After training Yellow munches on food by the beach and White says he skipped practive so she takes his food. He bribes her with flowers and that sort of works since she likes it, but goes back to scolding him. Yellow runs off to her annoyment before cutting to a ruffian trying to rob a fast food joing. Yellow tries ordering and we find out the ruffian is a yokai that was interrupted in the middle of his rampage. He sucks up everyone's food and reveals his true form of Gakitsuki. The narrator says that like his mom this yokai will eat everything to make people starve. Fighting ensues and Yellow transforms only to be tied up and about to be chowed down on. The others show up to help him, White still POed. The Shark Driver used from last episode is used here, but Gakitsuki turns into a bug and flies off. He enters Yellow through his mouth and lands in his stomach. Yellow says he is hungry and they go out to eat and already everyone notices the dozen plus plates are cause for alarm. Gakitsuki causes Yellow to grow, scaring everyone. Blue uses an x-ray scope on White before looking at Yellow, because comedy, and sees what is going on inside his stomach- wait, why is Blue wearing a US Air Force shirt? Is he a pilot? That night in the woods the Kakurangers fly White up in a kite and she sprays pepper in a shaker around Yellow to sneeze Gakitsuki out. Eventually he trips the kite wire while sneezing.

Yellow is chained up and White uses ninpo to increase the size of a turkey which they say is the last edible thing in the city. They use the fume to lure out Gakitsuki. He manages to break free and eat the turkey which he later apologizes for. White scolds him for having no willpower. Yellow suggests White be in the food next time to bring Gakitsuki out- No, wait, love confession. The others drive off in Nekomaru so they have time to think- THIS IS SOME FETISHIST'S FAN FICTION MADE INTO A SENTAI EPISODE ISN'T IT? Yellow is unable to sleep so he does handstands which shake the ground. White watches as Yellow says his friends are working hard to help him. The next day Yellow smells a bunch of flowers and a large cloth, under it being White who says she will have faith in him one last time before turning into a burger. Gakitsuki eventually jumps out and the others use a claw and chain to throw him by the tongue. Yellow returns to normal and Gakitsuki throws a fit followed by the Kakurangers transforming. White and Yellow fight Gakitsuki with their swords until he grows via yokai energy. MS is quickly formed and the Blazing Shogun Sword makes Gakitsuki explode so he can reincarnate in the Feast trilogy. White and Yellow talk while the former is munching and the others tell them Nekomaru is back. The episode ends with the narrator saying the kids at home hopefully learned the dangers of overeating. Next episode shows people playing guitars, kids in cages, and Nekomaru speeding through a quarry.

Gakitsuki: Powers include a human disguise, a stomach mouth with suction, rope summoning, a fork and knife, an insect form that possesses humans, and hand blasts called the Soy Bean Cannon

Episode 8:

Kids go home from school with two girls hearing a cat screaming. They look for it, but instead have a cage dropped on them. The meowing comes from some woman with a pet cat that says they fell into their trap before she teleports them away and her name is Kamikakushi. According to the narrator it is a yokai known for snatching children without leaving a trace kind of like infamous Florida pedophile John Cooey. Cut to Nekomaru and the Kakurangers in traffic, Blue is driving like a nimrod and nearly runs someone over, but fortunately the cat van can fly! Eh, it's ninja magic, I'll buy it. They land and accidentally knockover a cat shrine. Everyone scolds him and White tells them they done screwed up. The area goes dark and a candle floats around. They find a wooden home where a geisha is playing some string instrument I don't know the name of. She serves them food and they fall asleep, but Blue can't sleep. He overhears the hostess who suddenly has a cat-like face. He wakes up the others in a panic and they suddenly faint because she placed tranqs in the food. She then summons an electric guitar which allows her to move furniture and has the Kakuranger perform dance moves. It's no Michael Jackson video, but it isn't bad either. She reveals her true self as Bakeneko- Wait a tick the narrator called her Kamikakushi! In fact he just says they fell for her trap! White throws jacks and shurikens at her followed by Red transforming and going after her. He said he and White only pretended to eat her food- Horse maneur- WAIT A SECOND HOW THE HELL IS IT DAY TIME!? Both have a fake out contest involving teleportation. Later Red starts tracking her down- Why does he have Blue's US Air Force shirt.... Unless I am getting the two mixed up! DANG IT! Bakeneko hosts a restaurant for yokai disguised as a pet store where the children she nabbed earlier are imprisoned for food. One wolf-like yokai picks out his own kid like at Red Lobster. Meanwhile, White scolds the others for eating Bakeneko's tranq food.... Which she calls poison. She makes special tea for them and they are too scared to drink. White gets a call from Red while Bakeneko ties up a human boy and prepares to chop him up before Red saves him. White shows up and breaks the cage locks while Red unties the boy and fights the yokai. Outside he faces Bakeneko who stuns him with mouth flames.

White leads the kids to a quarry and they are all possessed cat people who start biting her. Bakeneko shows up to say they are under her control. After that White is tied up and the kids are recaged by dorodoros. Her cauldron of acid is tested with a dorodoro sword she has White thrown into via a cliff. A rope saves her which happens to be from Black while Blue and Yellow free the kids. Red drops in for a quick kick before the Kakuranger transform with intros, here done in the Red-White-Yellow-Blue-Black order because WHAT ORDER ARE THE COLORS SUPPOSED TO BE? Dorodoros attack only to be slaughtered before Red fights Bakeneo himself. Bakeneko uses her illusions on them which somehow hurt them (HOW ARE THEY ILLUSIONS IF THEY HURT?) and then Nekomaru flies in and rams her. Bakeneko calls bull spit and has the yokai energy make her grow followed by guardian beasts by Red and White. Bakeneko proves too fast for them, but is soon tossed followed by MS forming and finishing her via Blazing Shogun Sword or BS Sword as I will call it from now on to save on typing time. White kisses Nekomaru and it purs, causing the men to ask for a kiss too, but she just drives off. The narrator mentions the food they ate earlier were millipedes and centipedes before teleporting off. Next episode shows samurai swordplay and Black avoiding paparazzi.

Bakeneko: Powers include a human disguise, illusions, launchable claws, a butcher knife, mouth flames, mind control, and speed

Movie:

The Kakurangers enjoy lounging at the beach while some kid named Shigeru goes out with his friends. He asks his sister for money, but she refuses while his friends mention their family is rich. Shigeru complains and his sister calls him out on it. The narrator says this story will be scary and about them. She offers him lunch when the trash starts flying out of a can. Two weird men show up to say their house is cursed because of a strange doll because Cthulhu I don't know. They go inside and Shigeru spots a magic doll that looks Aztec in designed. The phone rings and it is one of the weirdoes saying to throw it out of the house followed by a tongue through the phone and the furniture shaking. In other words Kakuranger is ripping off Nightmare on Elm Street. Eventually arms start coming out of the walls and visible strings move Shigeru around before he goes down a trapdoor. Their screaming is so loud that White can hear them as Nekomaru drives by. Shigeru tells his sister to throw out the doll which starts to glow, causing the yokai to fly around. They teleport away once Blue pops in. The two weirdos try escaping only for jacks to hurt their feet. Once the Kakurangers confront them we find out they are the Hitotsume-Kozou brothers, both elder and younger. The narrator mentions that putting three of them together would form a triclops and that they play tricks in people's homes. Fighting ensues and the brothers easily beat up the Kakurangers although eventually they use their decoy powers to launch surprise attacks- Wait, Blue has a water gun and Black has an energy crossbow? The two flee in fast motion. Cut to the house where the Kakurangers talk to the kids about the doll. The sister mentions their dad brought it with him to protect them while he is gone. There is debate as to whether or not it is cursed. The two brothers are yelled at by an elephant yokai that set up model trains, planes, and automobiles (seriously) with his name being Onyudo. I like this guy's diorama. The narrator mentions he used to rule over hitos and kappas while acting like Homer Simpson. The brothers confirm the protector doll cannot be touched by yokai, but Onyudo tells them to get things done. They offer stealing Tokyo Tower and he approves. Onyudo heads to the city to manipulate- THIS IS STOCK FROM ZYURANGER. Tokyo Tower becomes tiny and flies off followed by some random cars. Everything is taken back to his model set. Onyudo yells at the other yokai for yelling at him because his dad is the president of the largest yokai bank- THIS IS STUPID. Basically the whole "I am looked down upon by others" shtick and he needs to be king of Tokyo.

At the kids' home Shigeru starts seeing things others don't so he runs away. Man this kid can run. The brothers catch him and tell his sister, Blue, and White via TV to throw out the doll or else. His sister does it to save his brother and Blue tries to fetch it. Onyudo shrinks the house with White and the sister inside as it flies off. The men gather and follow via Nekomaru flying. White opens the door to reveal that they are close to a train yard and are nearly ran over. Onyudo has his dream town done and Nekomaru heads for an abandoned oil plant in a quarry. The men get out and spelunk up the side while the yokai play cards- Hey it is that wolf one from episode 8! The kids and White are tied up with over the mouth gags in a vault (there is a golden age of American comics in this somewhere) while the men sneak up on a wall to beat them. The men untie them, but bars slam down as it turns out to be a trap. Walls also slam down and flames appear with one of the brothers saying they will have barbaque humans. White tells them to turn into fire extinguishers and Red does so because Wonder Twin powers activate. They then turn into power tools Red uses his nose to conduct electricity- THIS IS STUPID. Spinning around manages to have them free the kids. After that the three yokai see the cage empty, go in, and are trapped themselves while the Kakurangers escape outside. Somehow they escaped and followed with a squad of dorodoros. The Kakurangers appear on the roof, transform, and do intros. The brothers are impressed and fighting ensues as they all swing in via grapple hooks. The fights are goofy as those samurai dorodoros from episode 1- HOW THE HELL DID YELLOW BECOME THAT BIG AGAIN!? Also Black would be a BMX champion with those bicycle skills. Army dorodoros shoot at White, but that flunks. After the mooks are dealt with the brothers are taken on soon after with Red making dopplegangers and no not like that demon that mimicked Spider-Man from the Dr. Strange comics. Lightning goes down from Onyudo followed by summoning fire and icy mist thanks to his trumpet. The Kakurangers combine their swords to form the Thunder Wave which blinds them while causing small explosions. The Shark Machines are called in so the Shark Driver busts up the elder brothers. The younger one and Onyudo become giants and the guardian beasts are brought out. Five against two is unfair so the younger one turns into a ball that Onyudo kicks. Red fights back and that takes the brothe rout in an explosion. The guardian beasts then form MS whose armor deflects a shrinking bolt back at Onyudo and he is finished off by the BS Sword once he turns small again. This type of over kill would make Burt Gummer proud. This dioramma becomes no more and everything that was shrunk returns to normal. The sister- Oh her name is Yumiko. Their mom comes home just after she apologies to her dad for throwing the doll out. Things become happy again which the Kakurangers like- gee Blue, way to insult Nekomaru. Also 4th wall breaking saying to watch the show.

Brothers: Powers include a human disguise, telekinesis, teleportation, body extension, ring beams from the eye, and a katana
Onyudo: Powers include a telekinetic trumpet, teleportation, and a size changing staff