Captain Shark Reviews Gorenger and Beyond!

[Captain Shark]

The United States is now in charge of Venezuela! Speaking of questionable management, time to deliver part 5!
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Fire Candle continued: fire slashes from the spear...
Shining Knife and Sweet Cake continued: red energy beams from the twin head cakes...
Queen TegaJune continued: an energy cannon in the right wing, summoning imitation Tega Sword machines...
Omotenashi: Appears in episode 29. Powers include creating a subspace that changes the environment, turning animals into flowers by drinking their nectar, a vine-like saber, surviving high falls, and spawning explosive kanji signs
Mochitsuki: Appears in episode 30. Powers include opening dimensional portals, possession, a wooden hammer that causes explosions if it strikes the ground, turning organisms into dough, a wooden shield on the torso that also deflects blade weapons
Ayayser Usagigiku: Appears in episode 30. Powers include flight, three battering rams on each wrist, and a red laser gun
Doctor: Appears in episode 31. Powers include creating dimensional portals, possession, a chainsaw, a cordless drill, launching purple energy needles from the left hand that cause drowsiness, and a scalpel-like sword
Ayayser Asagao: Appears in episode 31. Powers include a scalpel-like sword, three battering rams on each wrist, and an assault rifle
Bellum: Appears in episodes 32, 33, and 34. Powers include creating holograms of himself in mirrors, a round shield that can be used as a throwing disc, a red energy gun on the right arm that is armed with a pair of blades on the barrel and can charge up to do more damage, size changing, reviving foot soldiers, and red laser beams from the single eye and torso
Temuno: Appears in episode 33. His only known power is a pair of katanas that absorb detach souls from bodies and fire explosive black energy cutters
Ayayser Acacia: Appear in episode 35. Powers include rocket booters in each arm and the waist upon retraction of the limbs, pink sonic rings from the head, three battering rams on the right wrist, a beam absorbing dish for the left arm, and self destruction
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Oh wow, Leon and Eagle actually got another episode... At the expensive of Cheating Dad and Tyranno getting another two. This is Ninninger levels of red ranger worship, fucking yikes! No wonder you guys think this is a disaster. I mean, I don't agree with that notion, but I see where that is coming from. I like how they are still making the grunts unique and the new TegaSword forms go super hard and are off the chain. So the Bridan require TegaSword to be alive and as such they have to join with the rangers to hold back the calamity. Makes you wonder, was TegaJune a goddess that got amnesia? And I am finding it weird the villains are getting more solo episodes than most of the rangers at this point. Normally at this point in a series I can safely deduce the range this will end up and I can safely say that based on all the evidence Gozyuger will not make top 5 or bottom 5 in the franchise overall- actually no, bottom 6, unless it really fucks up royal I don't see this being worse than Liveman.

Next time will be the last part where I play catch up. Episode 44 aired in Japan, subs are out by now, and at the rate I am going I will be watching episodes 45 through 49 on the day of release with some of you, something I have never done in the thirteen years I've been doing this. Lets try to get part 6 out tomorrow!

 

[Captain Shark]

The end is nigh! This will be the final time I am not in the now with part 6!
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King Candelor continued: a double sided flaming spear...
Queen TegaJune continued: a tractor beam in the right palm, emitting waves of heat from the body, a read heat ray from the torso...
Trump: Appears in episodes 35 and 36. Powers include razor sharp cards, absorbing organisms that lose his card games into his body, and possession
Fashion: Appears in episode 37. Powers include telekinetically controlling clothes, spawning black tight suits that prevent other clothes from touching, and summoning red hats that act as flying razor discs
Ribbon of Destruction: Powers include creating dimensional portals, a second set of jaws on the back of her head that increase in size called the Dinosaur Bite, a dimensional prison box called the Little Prison that compacts and stores organisms, expandable jaws, a large pair of scissors, three pink energy tendrils in the back of the head, and spawning ribbons from her right palm
Guardin: Appear in episode 38. Powers include sharp fangs, three bladed claws on each wrist that emit blue energy cutters
Obakeyashiki: Appears in episode 40. Powers include a subspace that turns an area into a cheap haunted house, phasing through matter, a ghost-like hand puppet for the right hand that spawns purple explosive homing energy balls, and possession
Ribbon Ayayser: Appears in episode 40. Powers include flight, a pair of scissors, and a gymnastic ribbon that acts as a whip and can self repair
Monodukuri: Appears in episode 41. Powers include spawning objects from the body, possession, sonic screams, regeneration from a single limb, and duplicating matter when anxious
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What the hell was the point of introducing Ribbon only to kill her off within three episodes? I know it's supposed to make Bouqet hate Leon when she gets killed off, but she really should have been introduced sooner, otherwise it's just forced. Leon got a pair of episodes (would have been three if he was not doubling up with Tyranno in one) with Eagle and Polar each getting another. Also ANOTHER TWO FOR CHEATING DAD! Drunk Harlot would have gotten another if it was not recycled into a half assed clip show. And TegaJune's motive for existence just to copy TegaSword to save the multiverse... It really feels like more should be explained here. Like, where the hell are the Bridans? The planets in the background indicate an alien planet and they are in an alien dimension, it feels like background information should have been popping up sooner than at this point. Also, treating Goodeburn like a baby was eye rolling. And now for the part some of you have been waiting on:

Wow, this seems seemless as Drunk Harlot is not there- And she randomly shows up in the fight! And when she gets reca- WHAT THE ACTUAL ****!? HOW THE HELL DOES A WOMAN AGE THREE DECADES IN THREE YEARS!? I swear, new actress's cheek lines are so deep she'd pass for AARP and Social Security while not having a single wrinkle! And the way they wrote her in is just so sloppy to boot! The botched editing makes everything more noticeable! I know Toei had a no win situation, but damn, this really hurts the series! As of now Black Unicorn gets the new nickname Young Fossil! This is the kind of thing that spawns "her eggs are bad by 30" misogyny memes I see in BattleTech threads on /tg/! Did Janus retire from the Roman pantheon to become a beautician!? Like holy hell, it's so uncanny she looks like she is a hundred and still look like a high school graduate! I know I shouldn't harp on this but damn was AI used for her face!? Did the makeup department go to Wal Mart? DEEEEEEEEEEEEP CHEEK LINES! It almost resembles cosplay!

No need to worry, Gozyuger may proclaim it's number 1, but it won't be reaching top 10 by the end! Hell, it'll be lucky to get into the top 15 after that mess! Aaaaaaaanyway....

When I watch episode 43 and 44 shortly after this post I will be fully caught up, eps 45-49 will be watched as they premier. A first for me, a tradition to many reading this. It's been an honor reviewing Super Sentai from beginning to end. I'll see you all at the end.

 

[Captain Shark]

Not part final! Not yet. Gozyuger has four episodes left at the time (and the last three were ALL red ranger focused AGAIN!) of this post so instead any brief run down I will be giving my final rankings for everything outside of the main shows. Lets not kid ourselves, a dumb decision in the final episode or last two, or final arc can alter the ranking entirely and I have done that. The final series ranking will be done after the final episode airs, but everything else included the awaited foot soldier ranking? Time for this to happen:

Favorite Carriers and Mechanical Bases:
DaiVoyager > Hyper Ressha > DekaBase > Magma Base > Turbo Builder > Orion Battler > Brachiosaurs > King Brachion > King Pyramider > Caucasuskabuto > Denzi Tiger > Battle Shark > Giga Bitus > Goggle Caesar > BragiOh > Sky Ace > Dyjupiter > Machine Buffalo > Jaguar Vulcan > Bio Dragon > Varidreen > Varibloom > Star Condor > Shuttle Base > Turbo Ranger > Dai Mugen > Nekomaru > Varikikyun > Gran Tortoise > CrocoDaiOh > BearKuma50 > Round Base > Gao Rock > Big Baser > Victrailer > Orion > Argo > Champion Carrier

Favorite Mecha:
RyoTegaSword > Go-Buster Oh > Buster Hercules > DaiBouken > TegaSword > V-Rex > GaoHunter > X Emperor > Goodeburn > Kyutamajin > Tategami Lioh > Great Five > GouZyuJin > Grand Liner > GigantDriller > Bio Robo > Kiba Daioh > Jet Garuda > Kyurenoh > Ohranger Robo > ZenKaijuOh > Gosei Ground > GaoGod > Kiraimaizin > Sirend Builder > Victory Robo > Turbo Robo > Star Five > Gouraijin > Go-Buster KeroOh > Gosei Great > Ryuteioh > DaiZyuZin > Jet Icarus > Dairenoh > Travelion > Grateful Phoenix > Gingaioh > PteraidenOh > Galaxy Mega > Oh Blocker > GaoKing > Five Robo > RV Robo > Delta Mega > Flash King > SpinoDaiOh > Tenkujin > Goggle Robo > SaiDaiOh > Live Boxer > GaoIcarus > Gigant Hooh > Gosei Wonder > Change Robo > DaiTanken > MagiKing > Engine Daishogun > Dyna Robo > GekiFire > MaxOhJa > Gosei Ultimate > PlezuOh > Battle Fever Robo > Ginga Rhinos > Ginga Phoenix > GaoMuscle > VRV Robo > King-Ohger > Sun Vulcan Robo > Kerberios > MougyudaiOh > DekaWing > Lion Ha-Oh > Red Puncher > KyoRyuZin > DaiDenziJin > BakuRenOh > Kishiryu Neptune > Liner Boy > PatKaiser > Build DaiOh > Muteki Shogun > Time Robo Alpha > Sirender > LupinKaiser > Yokuryuoh > Senpujin > Battle Caesar Robos > Live Robo > Turbo Rugger > GouRyuJin > Lupin Magnum > Kakure Daishogun > DieselOh > Dekaranger Robo > Victory Mars > WolKaiser > Kishiryuoh > EngineOh > AbaRenOh > ToquOh > Mega Voyager > Shurikenjin > Time Robo Beta > Daigoyou > Titan Boy > Land Galaxy > GanbirOh > MagiLegend > DekaBike > GaoKnight > Don Onitaijin > Mega Winger > Bison King > Time Shadow > SeikuOh > DaikaiOh > DodekaiOh > KillerOh > Bull Taurus > DaiTenku > JuranGaon > GekiTohJa > SaintKaiser > Go-Roader GT > Gekiatsu Dai-Oh > King Express > Toradoragonjin > ShinkenOh > Tsubasamaru > Sigma Project > TwokaiOh > Spino Thunder > Byunbyum Mach Robo > Tousai Zyoh > Datas Hyper > Tackle Boy > VrooMagine > GokaiOh > Boonboomger Robo > CosmoRaptor > SafariGaOh > Zyuoh Wild > Condor Wild > Zyuoh King > Kishiryuzin > Revolver Mammoth > Providus > Tarantula Knight > Mashin Zabyun > DonZenkaiOh > Boonboom Leon > Pachygaroo

Favorite Openings:
Turboranger > Bioman > Zyuranger > Ohranger > GoGo-V > Go-Onger > Gaoranger > Dairanger > Shinkenger > Flashman > Denziman > Gokaiger > Boukenger > Dynaman > Gingaman > Kyuranger > Hurricanger > Kiramager > JAKQ > Magiranger > Goggle-V > Gozyuger > Megaranger > Kakuranger > Jetman > Dekaranger > Timeranger > Kyoryuger > Carranger > Sun Vulcan > Boonboomger > Battle Fever J > Liveman > Changeman > Gorenger > Go-Busters > Lupinranger vs. Patranger > Zenkaiger > Ninninger > Ryusoulger > Fiveman > Abaranger > Gekiranger > Maskman > Goseiger > DonBrothers > Toquger > Zyuohger > Strongest Battle > King-Ohger

Favorite Teams:
Kyuranger > Magiranger > Timeranger > Changeman > JAKQ > Go-Onger > Gaoranger > Bioman > Boukenger > Gorenger > Dekaranger > Google-V > Go-Busters > Denziman > Ohranger > GoGo-V > Kyoryuger > Boonboomger > Battle Fever J > Flashman > Zyuranger > Megaranger > Sun Vulcan > Gozyuger > Ryusoulger > Carranger > Ninninger > Abaranger > Kirameiger > Fiveman > Goseiger > Gingaman > Patraner > Maskman > King-Ohger > Jetman > Dairanger > Lupinranger > Hurricanger > Gekiranger > Turboranger > Kakuranger > Zenkaiger > Dynaman > Shinkenger > Toquger > Zyuohger > Liveman > Gokaiger > DonBrothers

Favorite Foot Soldiers:
Drun Soldiers > Seamen Yahtots > Soldiers Kune Kunes > Pordamen > Dorodoros > Clothes > Zobiles > Madaramen > Ular Soldiers > Hitokarage > Nanashi Company > Junk Droid Zenits > Dustlers > Hidrer Soldiers > Ais > Ugatts > Zolders > Machinemen > Mebas > Zolohs > Barima Soldiers > Cotpotoros > Ungler Soliders > Zorimas > Tail Soldiers > Dragonoid Soldier Jaryuus > Genin Magerappas > Rinshi > Crimers > Batsuler Soldiers > Sanagims > Mecha Clones > Baro Soldiers > Grinam Soldiers > Cutmen > Anonis > Buglers > Golem Soldiers > Gromin Sailors > Wanpers > Nezirettas > Indavers > Jinmmers > Anaroids > Kudaks > Orgets > Familiars Imps > Bechats > Beebes > Curses

Alright, time to explain why the grunts are in their spots. A lot of this was based on how unique they looked or acted. Druns from Ryusoulger are at the top because they have a shield, an actual method of defense, they actually come prepared. The Kune Kunes are as high as they are mostly because of that one episode where they successfully overwhelmed the rangers and formed their own giant which is something I'm amazed other series never tried to do regularly. Zobiles, Nanashi Company, and Hidrer Soldiers are high up because of their monstrous designs and execution. Pordamen and Clothes are this high up because they are snazy dressers. Dustlers having the half skeleton motif works for basic grunts trying to instill fear in a civilian population, very basic efficiency. Madaramen have the best color scheme out of all the showa era grunts, I'm a sucker for camou. Ugatts are as high up as they are because they remember to use their long range weapons more often than others (that otherwise do have them). Mebas, Zolohs, and Ungler Soldiers would have been lower if not for their head designs. Machinemen and Batduler Soldiers would have been lower if not for their unique color scheme. Pretty much everything ranked below the Rinshi I do consider very bland, Zolders would have been included if not for their track record and sheer versatility and so would Zorimas if not for their dual color schemes and the idea that any sapient lifeform could turn into them to add a level of horror. I seriously thought the Jinmmers would have been at the bottom, but that was mostly due to the electrical whips, just not an effective weapon for a basic foot soldier. Familiars Imps are as low as they are because they are similar too the Black Satan combatants from Kamen Rider Stronger: Way too sympathetic looking for bad guys in an action series. And finally the Curses look like they belong with the Orphnocs from Kamen Rider Faiz, not a lost civilization, Beebes I can at least say are on brand for Super Sentai. And finally, come on, how can you hate the Yahtots? I mean look at them, they own their pirate theme and are entertaining!

 

[Captain Shark]

Three episodes to go, Eagle gets himself an episode and next one will likely be a double with Leon and Tyranno (because of course). In less than a month it all ends. Endings.... Oh **** I forgot to rank all the ending themes! I really should have don that! There's at least time!

*75 minutes later*

Favorite Endings:

Kakuranger > Gozyuger > Timeranger > Kirameiger > Gokaiger > Dekaranger Main > Bioman > Kyuranger > Abaranger > Boukenger > Gorenger 1 > Donbrothers > Go-Busters > Liveman > Turboranger > Goggle-V > Changeman > Denziman > Zenkaiger > Dynaman > Maskman TV > Flashman > Gorenger 2 > Magiranger > Go-Go V > Ohranger > Zyuranger > Toquger > Fiveman > Dekaranger Girls In Trouble > Ryusoulger > JAKQ > Megaraner Festival > Goseiger > Dairanger > Hurricanger > Sun Vulcan 2 > Shinkenger > Battle Fever J > Boonboomger > Ninninger > Megaranger Main > Jetman > Gingaman > Sun Vulcan 1 > Gekiranger > Carranger > Gaoranger > Go-Onger > Maskman Movie > Zyuohger > Kyoryuger

Going to do a quick run down of the tiers: Bottom four are utter trash, would avoid. Everything below Battle Fever J seems phoned in or not fitting for an action series. Everything below Toquger at least seems like it tries to put in some effort. Everything below Zenkaiger is perfectly fine, but average; this is painful for Gorenger's second ending theme because I'm a sap for choirs. Everything below Donbrothers *hurls in a bag and chugs bleach* is above average. Donbrothers through Gokaiger are legit good and are just up against top tier competition. Not joking when I say everything above Boukenger yet below Kakuranger was still undecided EVEN AS I WAS TYPING THIS. Not joking when I say Bioman was actually in the top 3 until I really thought of it, it was my first favorite among the ending themes. Top four are easily MP3 download material for being legit awesome.

 

[Captain Shark]

Jeffery Epstein was the reason Christopher Poole made /pol/! Such explosive chaos as we end this trick and pony show with part final!

Garyudo TegaJune: Appears in episodes 42 and 43. Powers include telekinesis from the left eye, entrapping organisms in his body, levitation, and a laser gun on the right hand with a blade that opens dimensional portals
Vidal: Appears in episodes 44 and 45. Powers include summoning a whirlwind around himself that rapidly ages plant life, fire balls from the gauntlets, teleportation, and creating explosions by pounding the ground
Dura Lex Seda Lex: Appears in episodes 47 and 48. Powers include dimensional manipulation, a smoky projection of himself that can fire red energy beams from the torso, teleportation of himself and others, reformation, telekinetic explosions, summoning disease, emitting body shockwaves, spawning tornadoes from the right hand, releasing black lightning from the hands, erecting a purple telekinetic barrier, size changing, hundreds of spear tentacles from the head, and reducing organisms to ashes via flashes from the torso eye
Vidal Fire Candle: Appears in episodes 48 and 49. Powers include spawning an explosive phoenix from the mouth on his torso, a double sided spear that returns to him if thrown, and summoning grunts

Welp, of course Cheating Dad would hog up more screen time. The Calamity horsemen suddenly showing up in the last fifth when it was just background should have been done more throughout the series. I am a sap for villain redemption so that's a plus. The pacing was rarely slow so that had that going for it. The ending would have been good if not for the bad editing around Young Fossil (seriously, no reshoots?), mostly because this was THE ONLY ROLLCALL IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. FOR SENTAI'S FINAL OUTING (for a decade anyway). And it just ends with the male characters eating hotdogs on sticks... The end of series pass on from this to Gavan Infinity without the titular red ranger just felt like Toei stopped caring at the end. It had some things going in its favor contrary to what I see on /m/, but on the other hand the technical aspects were lacking pretty badly for a professional TV studio.

You know what? **** it, this gets two different placements. This had the potential to be a legit great series, but Drunk Harlot couldn't close her legs or stay off the booze. Black Unicorn's first actress breaking the law while airing broke this, too much damage to the actual quality of this all the way to the final episode absolutely crippled this and could be seen since the erasure started. All other outlaw tokusatsu actors at least waited to break the law after their show was over as to not break it. The booze hound made children and the young at heart sad. This is the end of Sentai's legacy for a good decade depending on how Project RED/New Metal Heroes goes.

Final ranking:

Kyuranger > Magiranger > Changeman > Go-Busters > Timeranger > Fiveman > Goseiger > GoGo-V > Boonboomger > Zyuranger > Go-Onger > Kyoryuger > Gingaman > Dekaranger > Denziman > Ohranger > Toquger > Shinkenger > Gaoranger > Bioman > Carranger > Zyuohger > Dynaman > Kiramager > Abaranger > Gozyuger (without Drunk Harlot edit outs) > Maskman > Lupinranger vs. Patranger > Goggle-V > Boukenger > Turboranger > Battle Fever J > Ninninger > Flashman > Gorenger > Dairanger > Gozyuger (with Drunk Harlot edit outs) > JAKQ > Zenkaiger > Kakuranger > King-Ohger > Jetman > Gekiranger > Strongest Battle > Sun Vulcan > Liveman > Ryusoulger > Hurricanger > Megaranger > Gokaiger > DonBrothers

You know how much of a let down you need to be to be placed below Dairanger aka the Sentai that thought destroying the planet was necessary for a gang war in the last quarter and little children end up in Hell? Or Flashman aka the only Sentai to end as a downer for everyone? Or Turboranger where the entire male cast blended into each other? Or something with a stagnant story as Lupinranger vs. Patranger? Sure, it would have only been a handful of series upward, but it would have been better than what we got. It was also too competent to rank any lower even with the fallout.