Need some help convincing My mom

[Japaneseseriesfan]

So my mom knows I dance, well technically, I breakdance and do b-boy, but she defines it as "dancing hip hop". So when I showed her what it really is, and that I wanted to go to a dance center and get better at b-boy, she completely yelled at me and said it was all dangerous and that I could break all my bones doing those things.

Seriously? I'm in the school's Varsity soccer and basketball team, and I'm only a freshmen (going sophomore now). I have enough strength to do all that but I'm having a really hard time convincing her. She keeps stopping me from what I want to do and it's pissing me off badly. I can't learn martial arts anymore cause some dude got kicked in the face and his nose was broken, next day she makes me quit. I can't go wake-boarding cause she thinks I'm gonna drown. I can't ride a bike anymore cause my friend fell off the bike and broke his leg. I can't even learn how to drive a car until I'm 20 now! I can't find anyway to convince her to let me do all these stuff. I mean, if she's not gonna let me go and experience it, then what am I really gonna learn? I mean I'm actually asking to go to a freakin Dance Center to learn from a professional, when really I could just practice with my friends. And I mean, it's safer to learn from a pro isn't it? It's not like I'm gonna break my back the moment I fail at hand-standing. I get it when she took away my skateboard, I was at fault trying to do an ollie 360 in the middle of the road when cars were driving by (I don't know what was in me lol).

So if anyone could help me find a valid enough reason to beat her in this argument, I would be really grateful.

 

[Forever Knight]

Don't be whipped by ur Mom.

 

[KingRanger]

Why can't you learn to drive a car till your 20?

 

[Lynxara]

Ouch, sounds like your mom is helicopter parenting hardcore.

Generally the solution to your problem is going to be riding it out, moving out as soon as you can after you're 18, and then doing what you want because by God you're an adult and she'll have to deal with it.

In the meantime, try to use practical arguments. Like, if you don't learn how to drive until you're 20, that could seriously hurt your chances of getting a good job in the immediate future or make college hard on you.

Martial arts makes it less likely you'll get hurt since you'll toughen up and learn how to roll with blows. If she won't let you learn how to drive, how are you supposed to get places except on a bike? Stuff like that. Best of luck.

 

[KouAidou]

JSF, if you haven't done it, see if she will come with you to the dance center and just watch a beginner class with you, and maybe talk to a teacher. If the stuff you've been showing her is mostly advanced stuff, you need to stress to her that a pro is going to start you off slowly and will not teach you anything until you're ready to learn it.

(I would also advise against saying things like "if I can't take a class for it I'll just do it with my friends." Tempting as it is, this really will not help her trust issues.)

 

[jai009]

Maybe just maybe this is your mom's way of saying "Money is tight right now and if you break all your bones, we won't be able to cover the medical bills." Just a thought.

 

[Neon]

I did street and breakdancing since I was about 11 and I've yet to suffer from an injury from it (except for pulling muscles and waking up aching in the morning. ). Your mom could potentially be making situations worse, you're trying to get into hobbies which are a creative use of your time, would she not prefer you to be out dancing as opposed to joining gangs and drug dealing on the streets?

People need to get out of the house and do things and you're going to start to run out of safe ideas, your mom has to take you off the chain and let you out to explore the world, yes it's a risk, but by restricting you she's setting you up for bigger failure later on in life.

 

[SaikoDragon]

why dont you just do it anyway? Find out if there is a buddy who wants to do the bboy dance thing with you. That way, you can have your friend and his parents take you to the afterschool classes. When your mom asks what you're up to, you say "afterschool studies" or that you're part of a school club or something. (Of course, you'll have to build this up first. You will want to plant seeds of "I was thinking about joining this club mom. It sounds neat." "I dunno much about it. I was going to attend a couple and see what I thought. Would that be all right?" Stuff like that. Just a little comment every other day before you start disappearing.)

If it's something you're passionate about, then do it. But don't put yourself recklessly in danger, either. If you think you -could- be injured at any time, you should stop for your own sake.

Every teen rebels against their parents and always remember that your parents are just worried for you and want to keep you safe. A lot of times, they are right and have more experience than you. But that doesnt mean you shouldn't try new things. You can't gain real world experience by being locked up in the house.

And when you turn 18 and move out, there's not much she can do or say anymore, is there?

As soon as you hit 16 (ifyou havent already), grab a fun retail job, get some money, pay for the things you really want to do.

 

[Aoiblue]

Just a heads up for any future reply: He lives in Thailand.
....I said that only cause Saiko said about him moving out when 18 and I think the legal age there is 20?
XD

 

[SaikoDragon]

aaah did not know lol