When you think about it, once the right elements were combined, it was inevitable. You take the unstoppable, incurable mania of this nation’s young girls for all things Frozen, and an app store that’s heavily regulated yet allows ripoffs of anything to slip through, and what do you get? You get an unlicensed app game where you have to give a pregnant Anna a Caeserean section and deliver her baby.
In the specifically-titled-for-search-engines “Frozen Anna Give Birth A Baby,” you are greeted with a smiling HRH Princess Anna of Arendelle, lying down with her belly exposed. Anna’s OBGYN (that’d be your six-year-old) must use the tools provided to them to inject her with a sedative, slice open her belly like a Tauntaun and, once the literally glowing baby is revealed, snip off the umbilical cord. Your final task, since it’s a boy, is you have to circumcise it. (Just kidding, that doesn’t happen.) The father is unmistakably Kristoff.
I’m going to assume the method of delivery here is C-section solely because Apple will not allow a vagina to be shown in an app. That is probably the only reason this isn’t even more graphic than it is. Though I guess it has (barely) educational value, be prepared for your kids to ask you where Anna’s baby came from.
Disney had nothing to do with this, and I’m sure the way this game is going viral, they will be banging on Apple’s door with a large spiked mace any day now. Download your copy today before it gets removed, and then a la Flappy Bird, you can flip any cell phone it’s on for profits.
The company where this came from has the (HAPPY SNOWMAN!) to call itself “Frozen Games” and this is not their first offense, though it is the most interesting one. Among other illegal offerings, you can also download a game where your task is blowing Elsa’s nose.