Sorta big problem (about dem girls)

[KamenRiderRaze]

Thanks for the advice,guys. I knew I could count on yall.

 

[Keith Justice]

I've been apart of this board since Feb. and I had lots of fun. I know many of the dudes here may have some kind of experience in girls and stuff from high school. You can help out, too, ladies. So, here is my problem:

Its started Sunday, just before I headed to work. Earlier that day, I was thinking of some smooth ways to ask this one girl I like to the dance. Then my friend (lets call him Jeff) stopped by and told me some interesting new: a girl from my school likes me and would like to go to our highschool prom (May 7). I was a bit hyped and shocked from this sudden news, mostly because I didn't think any girls like me (I'm a shy dude) and said I'll think about it first. (Lets name the girl Rose) But, the problem is I didn't even knew the girl and couldn't put the name with the face.

Fast forward to Monday. Just before school, on the bus, I found out who the girl is. She is in my 5th period, public speaking, and not exactly what I pictured my date for prom to be. She's a bit talkitive and loud. But, I'm not a total shallow dude (well, just a tid bit) and it sort of messes with my plans on asking another girl the the dance. But, due to my damn 'niceness', I couldn't simply say no and I ponder different ways to get the point across, without hurting her feelings. This girl's friend (we'll name here Tonya), who is apparently going out with my friend who told me the news, its really putting the pressure on me. Its like, if I say no, she'll die or something, but I'm also afraid that I'll won't enjoy myself and end up wasting my money and she won't have a good time.

Flip to Tuesday and part of today. Tonya is really making feel guilty if I even consider saying no to Rose. I'm getting stressed out and don't know what to do. I try to explain to Tonya that she's better off with some else, because I was kind of considering not to go or she could just go alone...you don't really need a date,right? But, nope, she shrieked out loud, "You got to go. She'll cry if you don't!" Damn, I hate my conscience, and told Tonya that I'll think about it...give me time. So, here I am, typing to you wonderful people, asking for any help available. I suck at talking to girls and I'm too damn nice, which can be a burden sometimes. Thanks for reading this long story and sorry for any spelling and grammar errors. peace easy. :shakefist :disappoin

I've a blackbelt in "high school fu", so does my friend Overdrive that I braved those years with. I'll call him in as well.. maybe Cade and Shin.

Anyway... sounds like trouble man. If there's this much drama to ask this girl, you might want to just detatch yourself fromt he drama they're creating and ask the other girl, but know this... that's taking a chance.

What's Rose like? Is she obnoxious or something or is she at least midly cool? Cuz, I'll tell ya, I went to two proms. One with a girl I kinda liked and wanted to ask out and the other was just a friend who was pretty cool.

And damn did I have a MUCH better time with the girl who was just a friend. No pressure, she was cool and easy to talk to, and we ended up acting more like a couple that night than I ever did with my first prom date.... who lated dated one of my friends. :shakefist

I have to admit, seeing your high school drama from a far is kinda endearing.

So, final score.... if Rose is at least mildly cool, go with her and tell her friends to piss off as you're doing it for Rose and to have a fun night and not because someone's telling you to.

If Rose really isn't at all a cool person or someone you want to hang with, best not bending to the will of others and having a full night of being uncomfortable.

BUT... either way, down the line into your future years it looks like you're gonna have a fun story to tell. :thumbs:

Let us know what happens!

 

[OverdrivePrime]

Flip to Tuesday and part of today. Tonya is really making feel guilty if I even consider saying no to Rose. I'm getting stressed out and don't know what to do. I try to explain to Tonya that she's better off with some else, because I was kind of considering not to go or she could just go alone...you don't really need a date,right? But, nope, she shrieked out loud, "You got to go. She'll cry if you don't!" Damn, I hate my conscience, and told Tonya that I'll think about it...give me time. So, here I am, typing to you wonderful people, asking for any help available. I suck at talking to girls and I'm too damn nice, which can be a burden sometimes.

High School: We know drama!

Alright, It sounds like you're a good guy who wants the best for everyone involved. That's noble and admirable, but it's ultimately impossible to please everyone in this situation, unless you discover somethings about Rose that let you look past what you don't like about her. If not, you're basically going to be taking this girl to prom as a favor to a friend. I've been there. Don't do that. It takes everyone involved a step down. You're not going to be into her there, she's going to be overly into you and probably wind up annoying you, as you scan around for the girl you really wanted to be there with. That in turn, will hurt Rose much more than just being turned down, should she notice.

Here's the thing. High school girls will cry. Drop your hat and boom! On come the waterworks. So if the crying is a given, how and why they cry becomes important. If you're honest with the girl, and gently explain that you're interested in someone else, she'll probably cry. But you're not being phony, and she'll respect you for it. If you take her to prom, aren't interested in her, and she realizes you're being fake, she'll be a lot more hurt.

Now then, there's the thinking man's option here as well. Ask the girl you're interested in first. If she says yes, SCORE! Gently explain to Rose that you're interested in someone else, and wish her the best. If the girl you're interested in says No, and you still want to go to prom, spend some time focusing on the best aspects of Rose, and look to find ways to make yourself interested in her. If you can do that, then ask her to prom. If you just can't make yourself interested in her, then by all means, tell her that you're just not interested and that you don't want to lead her on. Go to prom Stag if you still want to go and hang out with your buds.

 

[Keith Justice]

I would NOT have minded going stag with the buds... I just didn't know any buds that were going stag.

One problem with the "Ask the one you want first, then if she doesn't work out, go for the fall back" is if the second girl find out, she'll be hurt and cry as they seem to tend to do. You might be out both dates for the prom.

So if you can pull off asking the one you want without Rose finding out, then you're golden. :thumbs:

Heh..... High School. :anime:

 

[Judge Faiz]

Or you can always go the Teen Sitcom route..and take them BOTH to Prom w/o either of them knowing it!
And let the comedy insue!!

-RF

 

[Forever Knight]

Or you can always go the Teen Sitcom route..and take them BOTH to Prom w/o either of them knowing it!
And let the comedy insue!!

-RF

LoL like Kelso.

 

[ninjastriker]

Simple advice, i have been in the same situation and no offence to you guys. but if you follow half the advice here you are only asking for more trouble then its worth.

i will start first with some common knowledge why - Girls Talk. why do you think they go in twos in the bathroom? word gets around from one girl to another.

the main one you shouldn't do is

hariken advice - defiently no. if you ask the girl you like and she refuses then you ask rose. you are dead meat. that is called 2nd string.

no girls like to be the 2nd choice, rose will be the 2nd choice. if or when she finds out and you start to like her, a slap will cometh.

Its seems half this i like you, will you go out with me comes from your two friends.

Now that can even be true or its a prank.

Here is how you are going to do it, carefully and without ending up as the bad guy. its also possible that you can lose going out with both girls. but at least it will give you a notch in getting girls.

Skip past talking to tonya and your friend and go straight to the source.

Speak to rose - sit her down alone with no one else. (

First tell her that you want to speak to her privatly, when you are both alone.

explain to her the situation on how you heard from tonya and your other friend about her (rose) being interested in you.

then continue to say, " i am very flattered about all this, but i am a bit unhappy in being presured from your friends that i have to say yes to go out with you.

I first want to say, while i am flattered, but i am interest in this other girl that i wanted to ask out to the prom.

To be honest if things was different i would defiently say yes to going out with you, but i have feelings for this other girl and i want to see if their is any spark their.

But if she knocks me down and i said yes to you then that would be unfair to you. which i prefer not to do and would prefer to go dateless then hurt anyone.

I know you are going to hate me for turning you down, perhaps you will tell everyone i am a complete asshole.

But i wanted to be honest in my feelings, and i didn't want you to feel that you i would of gone out with only because of presure or i got turned down from teh other girl.

But that doesn't mean we can't give it a try, ii would like to get to know you first. perhaps we could go take a walk or go to the movies with some friends.

I don't want you walking away thinking i have rejected you and throw in the trash like yesterdays news"

ok some of this i have improvise, that is basically what you have to do. carry the conservation. but be straight up and be honest.

if she really have deep fellings for she might cry, offer a shoulder or hug her for no more then 10-15 secs.

then say something smooth and caring, wipe her tears with your finger or a hankey.

if she doesn't cry and tell you that everything is fine or its ok. before you leave give her a gentle peck on the cheek, then say i will speak to you in 5th period (or whenever you might see her again) then walk off.

Be smooth and careful, listen to everything she has to say. listenuing to her is very important, if you don't you miss everything.

don't put her in a situatuion that you are going to mis lead her in any way, but put her in a postion that you to could possibly be more then friends if things was different.

While it is sometimes good to be nice, i am a nice guy at heart. but girls love someone who is honest and sone girls likes a guy who can express his feelings.

perhaps this will help, perhaps not. but at least it is something.

one other thing- " Opposites attract" looks or personalitys are always different, don't let that stop you with rose or the other girl.

 

[Keith Justice]

ninjastriker wins this thread.

 

[VengeanceGOD]

Yes he does, although my idea is still the most logical.

 

[Faye]

I'm just gonna jump in here as a girl with my .02, not only as a girl but also having been a high school girl (10 years ago). You have to go with who YOU want to. Don't agree to go with this girl Rose out of guilt or pressure. If you're not interested just say so. As tactfully as possible. Tell her you think she's great but you're not interested in her that way, or something. If she likes you no matter what you say may hurt her feelings, but it's better than the alternative. As for the girl you like, just ask her. Worst case scenario she turns you down. At least you tried, and went for the one you liked. And I agree with Master P, the common sense answer to NOT go back to the 1st girl if rejected. I know this will sound stupid and you may not agree, but it's just prom. In the larger sceme of things high school and the things that happen in it are a very small part of your life. This is a learning experience for you and how to treat women right. Nice guys always win in the end. Good luck!