Not wanting to have children, how to deal with it?

[Hobo ODST]

I'm not interested in having kids. It's never been something that appealed to me. The amount of work and time needed to raise a kid is not something I want to deal with.

 

[SentaiRider]

Always use a condom....... yet the 90% properly don't.

 

[Storm Eagle]

If you think it through rationally, it's never a good idea to say something like this if you believe is going through a phase. At best you're gonna seem foreign and they're not gonna relate, thus not take heed. At worst, you'll come off as condescending or patronizing.

That's why I prefer to say "I went through the same thing you did" or maybe even "I know what it's like...:.

 

[Hidden Masta]

Meh.
My parents just made me because they needed someone to take their fortune, land, and businesses after they die or support them in their elderly years...

Too bad you don't know how to do any of that.

 

[Shogun_Master]

If I felt I was financially able to take care of one, then, yes, I would love to have kid(s). There's just a few other issues, though.

A) I grew up in an extended family who all grew up to be an emo, a lazy ****, a psychopath, a danger to those around him, unable to provide for herself & her family & a drunken idiot who had a kid with a drug addicted bastard who cheats on her regularly.

B) I have had practically no personal relationships- friend, family or lover- that ended well.

C) I fear any child under five.

...meh, maybe when I get a decent career going, I'll adopt.

 

[OverdrivePrime]

Hello, i would like tot alk you about my feelings toward having children.
I dont want to have children for many reasons.[HIDE]

_I dont feel able to take care of them.
_I am not optimistic regarding the future of this world.
_I am more or well convinced that making children is reproducing suffering.There are too many factors i cannot control, its not like playing chess, fate,life,destiny,luck or misfortune,call it what you want, this world has no justice, this is what i believe.
_ i feel an infinite hatry against mankind and against myself, kind of misanthropy.If i learnt mankind was to disappear tomorrow, i would see it as a good thing,meaning mankind wont have pleasure anymore but also no more suffering or feeling of nothingness.

I just dont see the point, this let s me cold, and having no children is not only a decision that i take as a free man, but it is also an act of war against the world and the way it runs.

Many people wilkl tell you you act against nature or must be very sad to say this when you explain them why,,and not imitating the crowd is always a problem in this society.

So i would like to know if there are here people who,like me, are kind of "child-free" and refuse to have children.[/HIDE]

Never let anyone tell you that it's wrong to not have children. I salute anyone who knows that they wouldn't be a good parent and then proceeds to not have children. This world has far, far too many horrible parents with way too many kids. It's an entropic spiral - so often children of terrible parents go on to become terrible parents themselves, doomed to a miserable, unhappy life because for some reason they felt they had to have kids.


I just turned 35. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. Both of us have master's degrees and very good jobs. We just had our first child this year because up until now we weren't sure that we'd be able to do a good enough job of it, provide a stable enough environment, and manage to keep our own identities enough. Our son is amazing, and I love him intensely, but parenthood is absolutely not for anyone.

We always knew we wanted children, but wanted to make sure we were ready. Some people know in their hearts that they'll never be ready. Those people shouldn't have to become parents.

If you don't want kids, I strongly recommend getting a surgical procedure to make sure no accidents pop up.

 

[Kura]

How to deal with it? Well in your case I'd recommend a vasectomy; safe and you never have to worry about condom breakage.

 

[dchoc]

Same sex relationship.... :169:

 

[Bigdog]

If I felt I was financially able to take care of one, then, yes, I would love to have kid(s). There's just a few other issues, though.

A) I grew up in an extended family who all grew up to be an emo, a lazy ****, a psychopath, a danger to those around him, unable to provide for herself & her family & a drunken idiot who had a kid with a drug addicted bastard who cheats on her regularly.

B) I have had practically no personal relationships- friend, family or lover- that ended well.

C) I fear any child under five.

...meh, maybe when I get a decent career going, I'll adopt.

A) Your family sounds like a modern Breakfast Club.

B)Without getting into much detail, how did they? IT sounds like you are like Wolverine, where **** just happens badly around him. You must have had a good relationship that ended decently somewhat. There's no way you can have it end badly ALL the time.

C) They're not that scary, just hellish to keep track of and LOUD. You pretty much have to keep your eye on them 24/7 so they don't accidentally kill themselves or others trying to get in touch with their new world outside the womb.

Adopting is mixed bag too, especially if you adopt from certain countries like in Russia, they can come really fucked up children which are neglected by the orphanages. So if you don't have the resources to get them help or have the patience, stay away from adopting children over the age of 2 from Eastern European countries if you want to remain sane and so you don't end up self destructing on them.

 

[Storm Eagle]

Adopting is mixed bag too, especially if you adopt from certain countries like in Russia, they can come really fucked up children which are neglected by the orphanages. So if you don't have the resources to get them help or have the patience, stay away from adopting children over the age of 2 from Eastern European countries if you want to remain sane and so you don't end up self destructing on them.

That reminds me of how some couple returned a kid they adopted from Russia because he nearly burned down their house. He had caused a lot of trouble before that, so that was just the last straw. I have a friend who has relatives who have adopted kids from Russia and she was upset about that since she thinks that returning the kid would only make him inclined to do even more damage in the future.

One of my friends was adopted, and it actually bugs her that most people never consider adoption and just have kids naturally instead. Strange thing is, she knows that not everybody can just adopt.