Nah, I just didn't make the right choices in life. And it was all because of my impatience. Prehaps if I waited a little longer, I would've had an education that would've made things easire for me. But I ain't got the smarts for that. That's a fact.
It's not like "Oh, feel sorry for Bueno" or anythin' like that, but there's just so much that's happened that I don't feel so good about. It's true that what doesn't kill you only makes ya stronger, but at times it just feels like I'm doing the stuff that I do because I'm so desperate...even to this very day in Japan.
It sucks so much to not know if the odds are against you or not cause you don't know what's in store for you. When I started out, I was a guy with no money, no education, and no particular idea of what to achieve. I have a little more direction now, but I just feel like anything can happen. No matter how good or bad things can be. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I've lost so much sleep just thinking about stuff like that...