<3 Love/Romance Advice, and Tips <3

FangireQueen · Mar 5, 2010

Kura said:
Cool yeah I see your point on those aspects.
Personally I think probably another major factor with the parents thing is that you can't really invite your girl/ guy over for a night without parents knowing and stuff.. but I dunno.. :/ Oh well.

Yeh totally, nothign like gettin' down and suddenly "Oh **** my parents are home!" when you're 25 lol

SaikoDragon said:
This sounds very common for a lot of pretty women out there. There's always that "best friend" that secretly wants the girl but plays the role of "emotional support".

Guys, if you want the girl, make it known. Don't "be there for her" and console her only when she needs it. Take the extra step and ask her out.

But before you do that, I need to address some other problems, hinted at in Fangire's Post:

*Shower. Yeah, see, if you want the girl, put some effort into it. If you don't shower, you smell. Just because you cant whiff yourself doesnt mean she cant. Use shampoo and soap. What the **** is the point in hopping in and getting wet if you aren't even going to shampoo and soap?

*You can still smell after showering! Judging by Fangire's post, I'm guessing the male is heavy-set. There's a very common problem with overweight males and odor. They cant smell it and they swear by the stars in the sky that they shower vigorously! So what could it be? Fat Folds, friend. When you get out of the shower, water tends to get trapped in the folds of fat around your body. That trapped water creates the smell. When you are finished bathing, dry off completely and make sure you reach all crevices.

*Masturbating also makes you smell. If you masturbate (dont lie), go take a shower before you go out. We can smell your filthy penis. You do have an odor. I had a friend in highschool who fucking reeked of penis. There were days where he didnt but man, you knew when he had just masturbated in the morning because of the fucking odor of penis. Girls will catch this whiff.

If you want her, you have to get her and you have to put effort into it. Take care of yourself and practice basic hygiene before you step out the door.

He IS heavy set, and cuban (not to be racist, it's just the food creates an odor that almost STICKS to people). Nice job figuring that out

I agree with everything you said.

But also you have to make sure, if you are in the friends zone (and I mean REALLY there) do not try to force your way out of it. The more you force it, it makes it awkward and you will lose her. Girls don't want to date their best guy friends at risk of losing him. It's not a bullshit excuse, really. If we have a best friend that we truly care about, and we don't feel like risking it? Then we won't and you probably can't force it to happen. Just respect whatever answer she gives you.

And don't let your obsessive love turn into hate and jealousy that causes you to attempt to do harm to her fiancee and her business >.> Just sayin...

Deka_Hero said:
Say i like a girl, she's very cute, sweet as sin and though she doest speak perfect English (She's from the Philippines), Her heavy accent just make's me like her more.

Anyway, she is a Catholic, and i'm....well, lets just say "Non-Religious". I'm kind of worried our belief systems might clash if i ask her out on a date, since i admit to not knowing some of the Do's and Don't when it comes to dating a Catholic.

Am i just worrying over nothing?

Religion is usually not a problem. If she's DIE HARD Catholic then it's something you should talk about upfront. Most people nowadays don't make it too much of a top priority. AND not knowing about Catholicism can make you more cute.

A lot of girls love nothing more than to teach a guy about something new. If she IS really big about it, ask her about it and really make an effort to understand it. It'll show her that you respect her beliefs even if you don't share them. Then you'll also know more about what they do and don't do when it comes to dating.

Religion is something that has potential of becoming a big issue if you don't go ahead and set a common ground on it. I, myself, and about to murder LunaTrigger's step-dad in a dark forest if he doesn't stop shoving religion so hard down our throats (For example: On Christmas he spent an HOUR lecturing us and LT's bro and sis about how people that send Christmas cards with snowmen on them are godless and have no real concept of Christmas... yeh... I wish I was kidding). LT and I are both Christian, but his step-dad is so hardcore that the very thought of visiting them makes me a little miserable. I LOVE his mom, she's cool as hell, but that step-dad :shakefist so yeh, in a way it WILL come back around to being an issue if it's there. I only haven't told off his step-dad because I'm waiting til after the wedding to minimize drama lol.

MetalSymphony · Mar 5, 2010

Will do.

I don't know how much of a Catholic she really is, but ill make sure to ride the waves as they come.

Also, is it right for me to hope that she still has her Schoolgirl Uniform?
You know how guys are with Catholic Schoolgirls......... :coolshades:

FangireQueen · Mar 5, 2010

Deka_Hero said:
Will do.

I don't know how much of a Catholic she really is, but ill make sure to ride the waves as they come.

Also, is it right for me to hope that she still has her Schoolgirl Uniform?
You know how guys are with Catholic Schoolgirls......... :coolshades:

Unfortunately REAL catholic school uniforms aren't as enticing as their sexy counterpart lol

Aoi Kurenai · Mar 5, 2010

FangireQueen said:
But also you have to make sure, if you are in the friends zone (and I mean REALLY there) do not try to force your way out of it. The more you force it, it makes it awkward and you will lose her. Girls don't want to date their best guy friends at risk of losing him. It's not a bullshit excuse, really. If we have a best friend that we truly care about, and we don't feel like risking it? Then we won't and you probably can't force it to happen. Just respect whatever answer she gives you.

Hm, I can understand this, but at the same time, I think it would be the sort of thing that would easily drive away the friend if they truly do feel some sort of genuine love/whatever for the person. The simple fact that they're only friends might be a little too hard for them to take. I dunno, I just think there are some risks worth taking, of course they won't always work out, but you're not really living if you just try to take the safest possible course. Of course this isn't for every.single. pair of close friends, but there are times I think the risk is quite worth taking.

Kamen Rider Oni · Mar 5, 2010

Ryoutarou said:
Hm, I can understand this, but at the same time, I think it would be the sort of thing that would easily drive away the friend if they truly do feel some sort of genuine love/whatever for the person. The simple fact that they're only friends might be a little too hard for them to take. I dunno, I just think there are some risks worth taking, of course they won't always work out, but you're not really living if you just try to take the safest possible course. Of course this isn't for every.single. pair of close friends, but there are times I think the risk is quite worth taking.

It's definitely not working for me.

She gives me those wanting looks and signs that she really wants to be with me. Then throws that she's already taken in my face... Over and over again... Even after she states I'd make a better boyfriend then the one she already has. She even wants me to take her to movies and spend more time with her. Heck I got her roses and her favorite candy for V-day. Her bf got her zip. And I do spend more time with her then her bf does.

Yet I feel like I'm treated like a part-time substitue without the benefits... :redface2:

So what the frak is up with this...? :sly:

Maybe she just loves the attention only... :disappoin

SaikoDragon · Mar 5, 2010

Kamen Rider Oni said:
It's definitely not working for me.

She gives me those wanting looks and signs that she really wants to be with me. Then throws that she's already taken in my face... Over and over again... Even after she states I'd make a better boyfriend then the one she already has. She even wants me to take her to movies and spend more time with her. Heck I got her roses and her favorite candy for V-day. Her bf got her zip. And I do spend more time with her then her bf does.

Yet I feel like I'm treated like a part-time substitue without the benefits... :redface2:

So what the frak is up with this...? :sly:

Maybe she just loves the attention only... :disappoin

have you flirted? Have you made it clear that you're interested? I'm sure she has an idea already given that you offered roses on VDay. It speaks volumes that she is telling you "my bf got me nothing" and is giving you attention. Have you taken that step and told her "Maybe we should be together if you BF treats you badly."

My GF had to jump me in my own car because even though I saw the signs, I wasn't willing to make the first move. However, she clearly knew I was interested and she knew that I wanted her.

Don't fall into the "friend" zone. Next time you get in on that conversation about how bad her BF treats her and how great you are, start flirting and make a move.

You know, I've seen this situation a lot. Where the GF isn't given enough attention at home and seeks it elsewhere. This could be a great chance for you because she's obviously not getting the attention or satisfaction she feels that she deserves at home. So why not step it up man?

Of course, make sure you are not in the friend zone already though, or else it's not possible.

Kamen Rider Oni · Mar 5, 2010

Yeah, her and I have flirted, she knows I like her and want her... and I know she's lying through her teeth when she says she only likes me as a friend. She doesn't hug me like she would a friend and I can see it in her eyes. Especially last time I was over at her place when I had to go because of work in the morning. Hell she even wants to spend the night at my place.

Though maybe I am in the friendzone and there's nothing I can do... but the signs are there.

Lynxara · Mar 5, 2010

Sounds to me like she's sending mixed signals, moreso than you being friendzoned.

Does she flirt with any other guys? She may be feeling pulled in different directions right now.

SaikoDragon · Mar 5, 2010

Yeah there's some bullshit going on there. Maybe you're being too "clingy" or "needy". Maybe you're giving her "too much" time. Maybe you should back off a bit and say "hey, if you dont want this, then no, dont spend the night. No, we cant hang out. Because you have to want this. and if you dont, then you're in friend zone. And I dont have friends spend the night like im 5 years old."

If you cut her off a bit, maybe she'll want it more? I'm not sure because I've never been in that position before. I've seen guys get trapped in there but I've never seen one makeit out with the girl. They either stay trapped in their own romantic suffering or they make it out by leaving the chick completely.

You can also try and say "yeah I'm dating this other girl. She's great." Maybe your friend will grow interested in you out of subconscious jealousy.

I think you might have slipped into that uncomfortable zone where she wants you around but there's something about you that she doesnt find romantically attractive. If she wanted you sexually, she would have already taken you. So it might be too late.

If and when you are in those situations, you have to move on and meet other women. Don't trap yourself into one woman just because you feel close to her or just because she feels the most accessible to you. It's very easy to just pursue the same woman because she's merely accessible to you.

Sage Shinigami · Mar 5, 2010

FangireQueen said:
There IS a stigma on living with parent snad there's a reason for that. Many people do it out of laziness. Also there are MANY options to living with your parents. How come no one brought up ROOMMATES?

If you live at home with your parents, but pay a large chunk for everything, then why not just get some friends together and have your own place?

I admit that I did live with my mother for a while in between situations, but only because I had poor credit and couldn't get a place by myself. I found a great friend and we got somewhere together and bam, i'm where I am now.

It's all about learning independence. When you live with your parents from about 21 and onward, you still don't have total independence. Hell, my best friend is 25, still lives with her dad and he gives her **** anytime she hangs out with me for consecutive days.

On the flip side, if your parents are just "cool" and let you do whatever, then why aren't you living on your own?

For most girls it's going to go through their head, "Why?" And most answers that people think they have, really aren't good enough.

The most understandable ones are if there's a shitty job market and you're with them temporarily to get on your feet.

As for the living with them to save up for big things, that's a poor crutch. Because then when you get INTO those big things... what are you going to do? You can't move back with your parents and save some more again. If you're going to just live with them for free and save to get a house, what will you do 6 months down the line when you realize how much bills really DO cost? If you live with them to save up for a wedding, what will you do a bit down the road when you have kids on the way and realize how much THEY cost? The adult and responsible thing to do is be independent and still save your own money. Put it in a high interest savings account and just deposit a bit more with every check. It takes longer, but that's life. Most girls will see the "save money" thing as an excuse. Adults have to pay bills and still save money.

It's about drawing the line and owning up to what being an adult brings. There's bills, expenses, big life events, and lots of work. But the payoff is even greater. Life as an adult is hard, but it doesn't always have to be. Just work hard, and don't use living with parents as a crutch.

EDIT: and as for the whole "expensive apartments" thing...

Maybe it's because I grew up poor, but there's no such thing as a place you can't have. Get together roommates, check the paper for sublet rooms, anything. You can find a place AND you can find it within your means without compromising quality or safety. It's not gonna be a dream apartment, but it's a home and in a good neighborhood. It's possible, and I dare anyone who thinks that they can't to give me their zipcode and monthly income. I can find you a DAMN great place.

Appreciate the response. From you and all the other girls, and its nice that most of you seem to be understanding to different situations.

That having been said....I don't feel like these aren't good counters. All of them come down to, "A roommate's better", to which one has to wonder, "...Why?"

And yeah, if there are a lot of rules, you probably DO need to GTFO. If you're hearing "As long as you live in my house..." all the time, and you can't stand it, but you're staying...that's on you.

But you can't just say "you could get a roommate, if your parents are so cool". That seems like going for greener pastures for no other reason than just to do it. If you don't have problems with your parents, you're taking a real crapshot to go out and live with a roommate because that makes you look independent. There's an old saying: The quickest way to lose a friend is to live with them. Your friends have all sorts of habits you may not know about--I'm just getting into college and constantly I hear a lot of whining from new friends about how much their roommate sucks.

If you've got a decent situation with your parents, there's almost no advantage to staying with friends other than avoiding a social stigma. Because, let's all be honest here--"Oh **** my mom's home" and "Could you keep it down? My roommate's gotta work in the morning"...both murder any mood you're trying to set. :laugh::laugh:

To the guy asking for help...

You can also try and say "yeah I'm dating this other girl. She's great." Maybe your friend will grow interested in you out of subconscious jealousy

...Don't do that. I'm very loathe to speak for women, but they're not six. No offense to the person who posted it--it might work occasionally. But a lot of women, if they do have something for you and learn you're dating, they just try to get over it.

Incidentally...here's another one for the ladies. One of the first things you hear as a guy when you start dating is, "Be the girl's friend first." And yet the Friend label is pretty much the most dangerous thing you can have and only a destined few escape that. So how about it? Is the whole, "Be her friend first" advice complete and total BS?

'Cause I gotta be honest. I don't even make friends with women anymore. Every time it looks like we're close I push them down in the sandbox. :laugh: (TOTALLY KIDDING.)

<3 Love/Romance Advice, and Tips <3

FangireQueen

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MetalSymphony

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FangireQueen

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Aoi Kurenai

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Kamen Rider Oni

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SaikoDragon

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Lynxara

Nice post!!

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