Little Johnny
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
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Little Johnny watched, fascinated,as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that,mommy?" he asked."To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing thecream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class,"Where is Jesus today?"Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called onand answered, "He's in my heart."Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! ! Iknow! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked atthe teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said,"Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
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Little Johnny attended a horse auctionwith his father.He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands upand down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnnyasked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because whenI'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in goodshape before I buy.Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."