Japaneseseriesfan
A simple passerby...
So... I have this urge to break my arm. Just to remember what the pain feels like.
No, I'm not emo. No, I've heard the "you should call for help". I don't need to. I go to counseling every day after my showdown with the principal.
I'm just really curious. I mean, I have this hunger for knowledge. Like I need to know everything around me. Words can't describe feelings unless I feel it for myself. I mean, I know words have meanings, but in my case, sometimes the meanings just disappear. No, I do not inflict pain upon myself on a regular basis or at anytime at all, if you're wondering.
Wow, reading all of that again, I don't know. I mean I still am curious. I still have the hunger for knowledge. To feel something again you know. And it's not for attention. I've got all the attention I really need at school already. I wanna avoid as much as possible.
And before anyone suggests it, I go to psychiatrist every two weeks. She says there's nothing wrong with me, just that I have ADHD and an IQ 153. I'm not mentally unstable or anything. She did say I have the characteristic of those who would go at any length to do something just to achieve it or feel it.
What is wrong with me? I mean I understand the urge for knowledge and all, but breaking my own arm? I mean there's a side of me that's whispering to not do it and all cause I have this fear of getting hurt, but once I DO get hurt I kinda enjoy the treatment, even if it's painful cause that's when I know the climax of the "snapping" is over, the rest is just extra pain.
Help?
No, I'm not emo. No, I've heard the "you should call for help". I don't need to. I go to counseling every day after my showdown with the principal.
I'm just really curious. I mean, I have this hunger for knowledge. Like I need to know everything around me. Words can't describe feelings unless I feel it for myself. I mean, I know words have meanings, but in my case, sometimes the meanings just disappear. No, I do not inflict pain upon myself on a regular basis or at anytime at all, if you're wondering.
Wow, reading all of that again, I don't know. I mean I still am curious. I still have the hunger for knowledge. To feel something again you know. And it's not for attention. I've got all the attention I really need at school already. I wanna avoid as much as possible.
And before anyone suggests it, I go to psychiatrist every two weeks. She says there's nothing wrong with me, just that I have ADHD and an IQ 153. I'm not mentally unstable or anything. She did say I have the characteristic of those who would go at any length to do something just to achieve it or feel it.
What is wrong with me? I mean I understand the urge for knowledge and all, but breaking my own arm? I mean there's a side of me that's whispering to not do it and all cause I have this fear of getting hurt, but once I DO get hurt I kinda enjoy the treatment, even if it's painful cause that's when I know the climax of the "snapping" is over, the rest is just extra pain.
Help?
