Grand Grift Auto: How Trump’s Unmitigated Tariff Disaster Is Affecting Gamers

Gamers love a challenge, so when it comes to bosses, we recall the biggest, the meanest, the ugliest, but we celebrate the toughest. Recent offerings have brought us Oggdo Bogdo and his son, the unrelenting Raven Beak, and Malenia, Blade of Miquella, a name that still sends even the most hardened From Software fan running for the hills, while retro gamers still classify the Yellow Devil and Mike Tyson as prime examples of “Nintendo Hard.” But May kicked off with the reveal of one of the toughest gaming big bads of the year: inexplicable and deliberate economic turmoil.

And just like everything else terrible in our current dumpster fire, this calamity was brought on by none other than everyone’s least favorite president, Donald J. Trump.

There’s been a lot to process in these first 100 days out of the 1,461 of “Trump 2: This Time It’s Personal,” so let’s quickly review.

Previously on “Idiots Doing Idiot Things Because They’re Idiots”

Between the dismantling of the Department of Education, the decimation of American science as we know it, not one but two Signalgates at the Department of Broing Things Up Bro, and the open disdain of a presidency whose strategy in a court of law is the equivalent of “You and whose army?” gamers had just finally wrapped their heads around Nintendo’s new Switch 2 hitting the $499 mark with upcoming titles meeting the $70 line. Nintendo has been known for being the more cost-friendly of the Big Three, so with the new Mario Machine joining the ranks of the PS5 and the Xbox Series X/S in the five-bill territory, it took gamers by surprise. Not wholly, of course – the Switch was the sleeper hit of the generation. While Sony had their struggles and Microsoft was busy claiming everything from a black brick to an Amazon Fire stick was actually an Xbox, Nintendo kept producing hits that got people’s attention.

 

Meanwhile, Xbox has not had such a hit streak. The Xbox One spent its entire life cycle trying to right the ship after their abysmal launch, and the Series X/S continued both the trend of stupid Microsoft nomenclature and trying to prove the former Green Powerhouse was still in it to win it. That is, until they weren’t. Microsoft struggled with both messaging and transparency this generation, claiming Xbox would still have exclusives while whoring out titles like Forza Horizon 5 and Indiana Jones and the Great Circle, asserting that they plan on staying in the console space then immediately labeling everything from TVs to toasters as “this is an Xbox.” It was clear that Microsoft was chasing the almighty dollar and leaving its loyal fan base in the dust.

So when Nintendo told its fans, “We’re sorry, but we’re going to need more coins from you,” Microsoft perked up its ears and said, “Hold my OverCharge Delirium XT.”

Then, as usual, Donald Trump came along and made things worse. This time he did so by throwing darts at the wall and coming up with seemingly-random numbers for worldwide tariff increases.

This is the part I’ve been trying to avoid writing about for three days solid now – do you recall from your high school economics days what a tariff is? No? Me neither. UGH… so let’s go back to Econ 101 and talk about what tariffs are.

 

Pay Attention, Class, This Will Be On Your Final Exam

Very simply put, a tariff is a tax paid on products that are imported, or brought into, the US for consumption or sale. When it works correctly, the intent of a tariff is to make it more expensive to buy this foreign product, thereby making domestic products look more appealing to purchase. 

Let’s take a very simplified example: you’re in the market for a car. Prior to His Idiocy playing darts, the tariff paid on a “passenger car,” something John or Jane Q. Average-American would drive, was 2.5%. Again, as a very simplified example, this could mean that while a Ford Focus might cost $20,000, a Honda Civic made in Japan could cost $20,500. On paper, that doesn’t seem like too much, and the consumer could decide that, yes, paying that $500 more on the Civic was worthwhile, or no, the consumer could choose the domestically-made Ford and save the $500. Of course there’s a ton of other factors which could influence the pricing, but in the simplest of terms, that’s a tariff.

Economists see tariffs as a financial Sword of Damocles. Though their intent is to boost sales of domestically-made products, more often than not the practical reality of tariffs hurt that nation’s consumers. The actual tariff is paid by importing companies, who then have to decide if they will eat those costs, thereby lowering their profits, or pass some or all the cost onto the buyer.

As a reminder, we live in a nation where corporations effectively have just as many rights – or more – than its human citizens, so it’s not shocking to anyone that the corporation simply has no choice (he said sarcastically) than to pawn off the costs to the buyer. This is why the Honda Civic, though comparable to a Ford Focus or Chevrolet Cruze, might cost that little bit more.

Reciprocal or Punitive Tariff?

“Reciprocal” was the term the administration used. “Punitive” would probably have been a better choice, though what they were meant to punish is still unclear (not worshipping King Felonius II loudly enough?). According to economists, however, the most appropriate word would be “wrong.” The details of the incorrectness are mind-numbingly boring, so I’ll link the piece here, but according to the American Enterprise Institute, Trump pulled his numbers by using a formula that uses an incorrect definition of “trade deficit,” resulting in massive increases on already tariffed trade policies, bringing tariffs into the picture on our closest allies and neighbors, and caused the stock market to fall faster than the big drop on Goliath at Six Flags Magic Mountain, not just one day, but multiple days in a row. From his inauguration to his alleged “Liberation Day,” Trump 2.0 has seen a 15% drop in the S&P 500 Index, with two-thirds of the damage coming as a direct result of Tariffpalooza.

It should be noted, though, that the current strongman in the Kremlin, Russia’s Vladimir Putin, is enjoying no additional tariffs as he continues to devastate Ukraine. But I digress.

As investments and 401(k)s flew off farther and faster than airplanes post-FAA gutting, Microsoft, consumed with money lust, took one look at the proposed tariffs, including 145% slapped on China, and more than likely dramatically slumped on a fainting lounge. In our hypothetical car scenario, 145% tariffs would take our $20,000 car and slaps another $9,000 to the price tag. Fortunately, China isn’t known for its car manufacturing scene.

Unfortunately, for gamers, guess where Xbox consoles are manufactured. Here’s a hint: it’s not in Redmond, Washington.

And so, for the first time in video game history, instead of Microsoft consoles going down $100 after 1,634 days, as they have consistently done since the original Xbox in the sixth generation, the Xbox Series X/S is set to go up $100.

I cannot stress this enough: this is the first time that a console, now about four and a half years old, costs more than it did at launch.

Now, to be sure, Microsoft is not blameless in this. Xbox has been cashing out whatever good graces gamers still have for a fistful of dollars, so thinking they were just going to absorb the costs of the tariffs would be a naive thought at best. And if you don’t think Sony is going to pull the same move with the PS5, have I got a trivia game series for you. But the majority of the blame – since he likes to bigly claim he’s the world’s biggest fan of tariffs – is one man: Donald J. Trump.

So the prices of consoles are going up, but your paycheck certainly isn’t. And if you were afraid of the $100 Grand Theft Auto 6 rumors, I’d be really tariff-fied (PUNS Y’ALL) about what 2026 has in store. So what can we do at this point? 

Tariff Outlook: Unfavorable and Difficult

The truth is, when it comes to tariffs, there’s very little that John and Jane Average-American can do about it directly. What we do have the power to do is speak truth to the people we elected to represent us, in local, state, and federal government. And with that power, we can also remind them that if they want to keep their cushy jobs, they’ll listen to what We the People are saying. We the People also have the power of the the good ol’ American greenback, and if there’s one thing both rich people and corporations comprehend, it is the dollar. If we take our money to support small businesses, spend it on the companies that don’t just dump the costs onto their consumers, when the Magic Red Line starts to slide down, then those people will in turn influence our very thin-skinned doofus-in-chief.

As I mentioned before, Microsoft does not get a clean bill of health. Though most of the price increase comes from Trump’s desk, Microsoft is happy to push that cost onto consumers with little resistance. But there is a way to protest even the mere idea of $80 games, and those heroes can be found in the indie and double-A market space. When an AAA-title hits shelves for $80 (plus the collector’s editions and of course all the DLC), check your Stack of Shame. Maybe it’s time you finally got around to trying BioShock 2 instead of letting it just collect dust. If you must have a new game, AA-titles usually clock in at about half that, ranging from $40-$60, and indie titles can be even a fraction of that. And those spaces is where you will find sleeper hits like Hi-Fi Rush, Tunic, Inscription, and Shovel Knight. A game doesn’t need to be AAA to succeed, and a AAA game is not immune from failure.

The unfortunate end to this particular tale is that when it comes to video game consoles, there is no small business to support. It’s the holy triumvirate of Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony. And while Nintendo, trying to save face, is trying to shine the turd up, Microsoft (and inevitably Sony) has no intention of shining, polishing, or even warning consumers about the massive shit about to roll downhill.

In surely what must be a completely unrelated news story to end this article with, Donald J. Trump is still somehow President.

Xbox One Controller Featured Image: Pexels