Red_Maniac
Member
NOMINATED FOR “BEST COMEDY FICâ€
(Show your support and vote for "Spandex..." or Kyle will eat you. Well, you don’t have to if you like the other ones better, but I’m just saying that- oh, never mind.)
Episode 6: My Island
Things between me and Amy were going pretty well, although, we decided to just stay- wait a minute, this is the same thing I said last time!
David and Amy were in the hallways and walking past each other.
“Hey, Amy,†said David.
“Hi David!†said Amy, walking into Piggy’s janitor cart and tripping.
And that’s the same thing that happened last time! Talk about déjà vu… Anyway, things were going okay between the two of us, but one day is only 24 hours long, and anything can happen in that time.
For me, almost everyday is the same. I wake up early-
For me, almost everyday is the same. I wake up early-
*David’s Room- 11:47 AM*
David is sleeping on his bed when his alarm clock starts ringing.
“Five more minutes …†said a still sleepy David. The alarm clock was still ringing…and got even louder.
David got out a hammer and began smashing his alarm clock.
-have a nice brunch with my friends and people who I don’t even know-
*Cafeteria- 12:06 PM*
David took out a plate with two pizzas stacked on top of each other with peanut butter in between.
“Nothing like a peanut butter sandwich and pizza for brunch…â€
â€Just a small reminder: tomatoes are fruits, not vegetables. Get it right!†said S.O.P.H.I.E over the intercom.
David sat down with Kyle, Rellim, and Evan (the ninja) who was staring into space.
“What’s with him?†asked David, pointing at Evan.
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s meditating, or something,†said Kyle.
David began eating his meal. It was very quiet for the next few minutes.
It was at that moment where I made one conclusion.
“This is boring. It’s the same thing every single day! I wake up, eat, there’s training, a random monster shows up, we beat it then the day ends,†complained David.
“Well, that’s life,†said Rellim.
“It doesn’t make sense. I wish that we just lived for fun,†said David.
“Didn’t make sense not to live for fun?†said Kyle.
“Yeah. Sure,†said David.
Suddenly, Kyle began to sing.
“Didn’t make sense not to live for fun,
You’re brain gets smart but your head gets dumb!â€
“So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with taking the backstreets?†sang Rellim.
â€You’ll never know if you don’t go!
You’ll never shine if you don’t glow!†sang Evan.
Suddenly, the three of them jumped up on the table and continued to sing as everyone in the cafeteria began to dance.
But David realized that it was all in his head and everything was back to normal.
“David? Are you okay?†asked Kyle.
“SMASHMOUTH SUCKS!†yelled David before storming off.
---
*Training Room*
Amy was clobbering a punching bag while Piggy was mopping the floors.
“Ow, my knuckles!†exclaimed Amy.
“Pathetic…†Piggy whispered to himself.
Amy sat down and drank from her water bottle. She started to choke on her water and began coughing.
“Piggy, can I ask you something?†asked Amy.
“Sure.â€
“Is it wrong to take everything seriously?†asked Amy.
“Well, of course not! I take everything seriously! Well, except for working here. I’m so tired of Commander Cruger telling me what to do. ‘Piggy, mop the floors!’ ‘Piggy, wipe the windows!’ ‘Piggy, put your pants on!’ “ Piggy was starting to scare Amy. “Why do you ask?†asked Piggy.
“I guess it’s because I think that I’m the only one who takes things seriously here. I’m kinda becoming…obsessed with being the best,†said Amy.
“That’s natural for ANY life form. Even those tiny little bugs and flies that fly around everyone trying to annoy or distract them. One day, I’LL be on the top! One day, I’ll be a Ranger and I’ll keep going up and Commander Cruger will be answering to me! Then I’ll become President!†said Piggy.
“Good luck with that…†said Amy.
---
*Simudeck*
Bang and David were in a virtual world watching their cadets fight virtual Krybots on a virtual rooftop on a virtual building…virtually.
“Jean-Luc, you’re not supposed to run away from them!†Bang yelled at him, who was running away and screaming. “Well, David, besides him, they’re doing okay.†Bang noticed that instead of watching them, David was trying to solve a crossword puzzle.
“ ‘Prestar atencion in English…’ “ said David.
“David, pay attention!†said Bang.
“Hey, thanks!†said David.
“No, David. Pay attention to them!â€
“Why?â€
“Because we’re supposed to?†said Bang.
“Does this matter?â€
“Yes! Remember, these guys are going to be Rangers one day,†said Bang, as Jean-Luc was getting beaten up by the virtual Krybots.
“Stop the simulation!!!!†yelled Jean-Luc.
“Whatever. It’s boring anyway. Hmm… ‘The person who defeated Goliath…’ “ said David, continuing his crossword puzzle.
“David!†yelled Bang.
“Hey, thanks!â€
“Never mind…†said Bang, who gave up.
“My nose is bleeding!†screamed Jean-Luc.
*A few minutes later in the Command Center…*
“Rangers, I have important news. We are giving you the SWAT Flyers to use,†announced Doggie.
“But don’t we already have the S.U.C.K Megaship?†said Amy.
“Well, that’s the way we do things here at S.P.D. You get something new everyday and never use them,†explained Doggie.
“Like our genetic powers?†said Bang.
“Our what?†said Kyle.
“And you also get these fly swatters!†said Kat, handing everyone fly swatters.
“Nice,†said Kyle, who bit his.
“And there’s more good news! From 8 to 9 PM starting today, every Tuesday, you guys will fly these around the city in circles for no reason! In other words, you’re going on patrol,†said Doggie, sarcastically.
“But that’s when they show ‘Kazakhstan Idol!’ “said Bang.
“Tough crap,†responded Doggie.
“But why Tuesdays?†asked David.
“Oh, I’m sorry! Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s make it everyday!†said Doggie.
Crap. I shouldn’t have said that.
“DISMISSED!†yelled Doggie.
Z-Squad did that strange S.P.D salute.
“Nice going, David…†said Kyle.
---
*7:59 PM*
And so we drove off in our new S.W.A.T Flyers…despite the fact that we didn’t have any S.P.D S.W.A.T equipment. All we did was fly around the city, watching the city like a hawk, although we couldn’t actually see the city. It was a very dull experience, like riding a slow roller coaster. The flyer that I was in did actually feel like a roller coaster. But, as always, Amy was the optimizer.
“Isn’t this great, guys? The view is wonderful, it’s relaxing-“
“No, not really,†said David, interrupting Amy.
“Didn’t you say that you joined S.P.D to look for adventure?†asked Amy.
“Well, this isn’t really an adventure,†said David.
“Oh, come on. This is kind of fun. You never know what could happen,†said Amy, as a bird crashed into her windshield.
“I don’t know…I guess I’m not really having as much fun as I did when I first came here. I felt excited and-“
“Wait, so you also came here to have fun?†asked Amy.
“Hey, did you know that you can’t lick your elbow?†said Kyle.
“You can if you’re double jointed, you know,†said Bang.
“Well…I admit, I didn’t really have a lot of fun when I first came here-“
“Is that how you see all of this? Just some sort of a game??†said a surprised Amy.
“An ADVENTURE game,†corrected David.
“WHAT?†said Amy, not paying attention to where she was flying. Her SWAT Flyer began hitting multiple birds. “This isn’t just some sort of game! We have to protect the city, citizens and the world!â€
“Why does it matter? When a monster attacks, all of the citizens are gone, when buildings are destroyed, they magically repair themselves overnight, and New Tech City is the only place where evil guys attack!†said David.
“Hey, I think my right arm is longer than my left arm!†said Bang.
“I can put my tongue in my nose without using my hands!†said Kyle.
“Well, if that’s what you think, maybe you shouldn’t be a Ranger!†said Amy.
“Look, just because I don’t take everything seriously like you doesn’t mean that I don’t care about lives,†said David.
“Oh, really?†said Amy.
“Hey, sorry for breaking up your argument, but I think we just passed a burning building,†said Bang.
“Eh, just let the firemen handle that,†said David. Kyle, Amy and Bang began snickering. “All right…let’s go…â€
And like that, the Rangers SPRUNG into action by jumping out of their zords, which landed in the ocean since no one was inside them.
“You know, maybe we should’ve gone closer to the building…†said Kyle.
---
*8:09 PM- Outside the Burning Building*
Firefighters arrived at the scene…but were having some trouble.
“All right, let’s make this building…not…burning! Now shoot water out of your hose thingys by pulling the metal thing!†instructed Fireman #1.
“Got it!†said Fireman #2, spraying a building with water.
“Wrong building…†said Fireman #1.
“Don’t worry, we’re here!†yelled Kyle, as he and the other Rangers came.
“WHO ARE YOU?†asked Fireman #2, spraying Kyle with the hose.
“What the hell???†screamed Kyle.
“At ease, at ease!†said Fireman #1.
“Okay.â€
“How many people are in the building?†asked Amy.
“Well, there are…a lot. Let’s just say that,†said Fireman #1.
“Uh-huh. All right, let’s go!†said Amy, as the Rangers ran into the building.
“Hey, I’m the leader! I’m supposed to say the obvious things!†said David, following the others.
I have a bad feeling about this…
When Amy, Bang and Kyle ran in, they searched every room carefully, pulling people out of danger and dodging every obstacle like they have been doing that every day.
David, on the other hand, didn’t. From the moment he entered the building, he just stood there, looking around.
Man, it’s hot in here! Hey, if moving around makes you warm, maybe not moving makes you cooler!
…
Nope.
…
Nope.
David looked around.
“Is there anyone who needs to be rescued? And by rescued, I mean has enough strength to come to me all by themselves?†yelled David.
Nothing.
“Oh well.â€
“HELP! HELP!†yelled a woman.
“Who is that?†David looked around. “I can’t find you! MARCO!†yelled David.
“POLO!!!!†screamed the panicking woman.
“MARCO!â€
“I’m in the closet!â€
“Oh,†said David, walking to a closet and opening a burning door to see a woman about his age. “I have you!†David said, picking her up.
“Thank you so much!â€
“Let’s get out of here,†said David, who was carrying the woman.
“But what about the other people in here?†she asked.
“Ah, I’m sure the other guys will get them.â€
A huge beam that was on fire fell, and David narrowly evaded it.
“NOW let’s go,†said David, running out as fast as he could.
He ran out of the building unharmed with the woman as the building collapsed behind them.
“Don’t worry…you’re safe…†said an exhausted David, who saw that the other Rangers were there and had saved about ten people each.
“Man, these guys are way better than you,†said the woman, “HOLY CRAP, MY HAIR’S ON FIRE!†she yelled.
While Fireman #1 fell and began rolling around for no reason, Fireman #2 grabbed the hose and sprayed the woman and David.
---
*Meanwhile, in the giant Bandai Toy…*
Piggy was standing in the hallway, scheming and talking to himself. He was holding a glass filled with water.
“Yes…once Commander Cruger drinks this poisoned drink and perishes, I will do something awesome and random to prove that I am worthy to be the Commander of S.P.D Earth!†said Piggy. He turned around to see Jimmy watching him. “Oh…uh…†Piggy took out twenty dollars.
“I never heard anything!†said Jimmy, taking the dollar bill and running off.
“Now then…†Piggy approached Doggie and Kat in the Command Center.
“-and it startled the bear, causing him to knock over the golf cart-“
“Excuse me, Commander, would you like some water?†asked Piggy, interrupting Kat’s story.
â€No. Go away. So, what happened to the gopher?†asked Doggie.
“Well-â€
“But you look tied and thirsty! Why don’t you have a nice-â€
“Listen you, many things are happening right now, most which are bad, and most of the bad things are happening to me, and I don’t need anyone annoying me. Plus, the last time I accepted a drink from a janitor, I woke up in Alaska with a man licking my foot. Now go clean something up,†said a furious Doggie.
A frustrated Piggy walked away, mumbling.
“What am I supposed to do with this glass of water… Hey, BOOM!â€
---
*8:27*
The Rangers somehow got their SWAT Flyers back and were back to patrolling the city.
It turns out that the building was an office, and they would pour flammable gas down people’s pants as a punishment.
“Well, that went well,†said Amy.
Not really.
“I think we got everyone out of that building.â€
“But there was a poor soul on the fourth floor…†said Bang.
‘You mean that he-“
“Yup. I saved him!†said Bang.
Yawn. You know, I’m going to think about completely random stuff. Which did come first, the chicken or the egg? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too? Do French fries really come from France?
---
*Elm-0’s World*
General N00dles and his brother General N00dles were both watching CNBC.
“I don’t understand! What does this Jack Tretton mean by ’10 year product life cycles?’ I just want good games for my PlayStation Six!†said an outraged and confused General N00dles. His brother threw the remote at the TV, destroying it.
“Where does Elm-0 find these nitwits?†Ber-7 asked himself.
*Elm-0’s room*
Elm-0 was pacing back and forth while Erni-3 was standing, doing absolutely nothing.
“GAH! Why can’t I defeat the Rangers!†complained Elm-0. “They always manage to outsmart me!â€
*Flashback*
On Elm-0’s desk, there were three cups.
“So, Brown Ranger, which one of these cups has the red ball inside?†Elm-0 asked Kyle.
“Hmm…†Kyle picked ALL of the cups up and revealed the red ball.
“CURSE YOU, BROWN RANGER!!!!!â€
*End Flashback*
Elm-0 began going crazy.
“Relax. Stop. Calm down,†said a bored Erni-3, still standing as still as a statue.
Elm-0 had a tantrum and jumped around, screaming and smacked a large, red button. Outside Elm-0’s base, a huge cannon emerged, shooting a bright and purple laser into space, blowing something up.
Elm-0 was speechless.
“What did we just hit?†asked Elm-0.
Erni-3 looked at the radar.
“The abandoned International Space Station.â€
“Oh. Okay. Erni-3, I drank a lot of oil. Come with me to the restroom! I may need some assistance!†said Elm-0.
“Yes, my liege…†said Erni-3, sighing.
---
*8:30- Over the Pacific Ocean*
Is infinity a real number? When will Duke Nukem Forever come out?
“Hey Amy, if you were stranded on an island and you can only bring one thing, what would it be?†asked Kyle.
“Easy! I would only bring my brains. That’s all you need to survive,†answered Amy.
“So you wouldn’t bring any clothes?†said Bang, as Amy rolled her eyes.
“What about you, David?†asked Kyle.
Hmm… maybe a chocolate bar…or an Island Survival Kit! That’s a good answer!
“I would bring- HOLY CRAP!†said David, who saw a giant fireball falling towards the Rangers.
“David, I find that blasphemous!†said Bang.
“No, look!†said Amy, point at the fireball. The remains of the (abandoned) International Space Station was heading towards them.
The Rangers attempted to avoid it, but their vision was obstructed, and pieces of metal pelted the SWAT Flyers.
It was then when I knew that I had to-
David’s flyer suddenly crashed into an island. Because the SWAT Flyer was not designed with an airbag, David was unconscious. Again.
Meanwhile, Kyle and Bang were able to make it out.
“Phew…wait, where’s David and Amy?†said Bang.
“I don’t know! We must have left them behind! Let’s go back to the base and tell Commander Cruger instead of looking for them!†said Kyle, and the two flew off.
---
*Delta Command Base*
Piggy was in the hallway, plotting the floors and mopping his next attempt to assassinate Doggie Cruger.
“Yes, it’s perfect! He will slip on the floor, and then land on the pieces of Boom’s glass window!†said Piggy.
*Flashback*
*Boom’s Room*
Piggy grabbed a bowling ball and threw it at Boom’s window, shattering it. The ball flew out of the window and Piggy heard a scream.
Piggy looked outside the window to see Boom lying on the ground.
“Sorry! If it makes you feel better, I’ll sell all of that blood and give the money to you!â€
*End Flashback*
Piggy turned around and saw that Donut the cyborg was listening. Piggy took out a dollar bill.
“Here’s five bucks.†Piggy inserted the dollar bill in Donut’s mouth and he sucked it up like a vending machine.
“Here’s your change!†said Donut. Piggy took a penny out of his ear.
“Here he comes!†said Piggy, pushing Donut away. Piggy whistled and continued to mop the floor as Doggie walked by. Suddenly, he slipped and he slid across the hallway, catching the eyes of everyone there. But they didn’t really care and went on with what they were doing.
“Yes… YES!†said Piggy.
At the end of the hallway, Doggie fell down and landed on the broken, sharp pieces of glass as planned- but not as planned. The pieces of glass were put on the floor flat, so the sharp points were facing the side.
“Damn it…†said Piggy, who walked away quickly.
Doggie groaned and got up.
“What the hell just happened? There’s only one thing to do: blame Kyle!†said Doggie.
Suddenly, Kyle and Bang sprinted up to Doggie. Both looked exhausted and were panting.
“Bang? Cadet Dimwitt? What the-â€
Kyle grabbed Doggie and shook him as he and Bang attempted to tell what happened, but both were talking so loudly and quickly.
“Cadet Dimwitt! Stop this instant!†ordered Doggie.
Kat was reading something and saw all of the chaos. More people gathered around and watched the three shout at each other. Soon, Kyle and Bang were choking and punching Doggie.
“This is awesome!†said John.
“My mind is telling me that I should do something…but I don’t want to,†said Kat.
“Vosotros Americanos están muy locos,†said Carlos.
---
*8:42- ???*
David woke up and saw that his zord had landed on an island.
“What the…†David walked out of his zord. He could hear the waves, the wind…but didn’t really give a crap.
“Hello? Bang? Kyle? Amy? Anyone!†he yelled. He ran across the sand of the apparently deserted “island†until he saw a familiar person sitting next to a fire and a trashed SWAT Flyer.
It was Amy, who was trembling and staring at the fire.
“Amy! I’m so glad to see you!â€
Amy continued staring at the fire. She was like a lifeless and emotionless robot.
“Hello, David. It is very nice to see you here too,†said Amy. Still staring at the fire.
David sat down next to Amy, and it was very quiet for a while.
“You know, it’s funny, because Kyle was asking ‘what would we bring if we were stranded on an island,’ and we’re stranded on one right now! Heh heh. Heh,†said David.
Amy turned around and stared at David like he was crazy.
But being the smart person I am, I quickly changed the subject!
“So, speaking of Kyle, do you think that he and Bang are somewhere here too?†asked David.
“I doubt it.â€
“Oh.â€
“David, we are stranded on an island. We could DIE.â€
“Huh?â€
“Our zords are trashed, we barely have any supplies… I don’t want to die! I could still do so much! Save the whales, stop global warming-“
“Relax, Amy.â€
“Just think about what we’re going to miss! The Spanish Inquisition! The Brady Bunch Reunion! Duke Nukem Forever!â€
“Amy, would you RELAX??!!†screamed David. “Now, we are going to get out of here. You are NOT going to die. Well, most likely.â€
Damn it, I shouldn’t have said that…
“We WILL get out of here. I promise. Just relax,†said Amy.
“All right… I’ll TRY to relax…â€
“Now, have you tried to communicate with the others or the Delta Base?†asked David.
“Yeah, there’s no signal.â€
“We need a signal?â€
“Our Z-Squad morphers are just outdated cell phones that just HAPPEN to let us morph. There aren’t even any games on here…â€
“Okay. First, I think we should find out where Bang and Kyle are.â€
“I took a look around the island. I don’t think they’re here. They’re probably doing better than us, wherever they are…â€
---
*Delta Base- Interrogation Room*
Kyle and Bang were both tied up to chairs with tape over their mouths. Doggie had two black eyes from the incident before.
“Now, I’m going to take the duct tape off, and I want you to tell me what in Black Ranger’s name happened to Amy and David,†said Doggie, removing the tape from Kyle’s mouth.
“Well, we were flying over the ocean and talking and Amy was like ‘blah blah blah,’ and David was like, ‘yawn’ and Bang was like ‘I’m so cool’ and then the HUGE fireball was falling towards us and it was all like ‘PHOOOOOSHH!!!!’ and the little pieces were hitting us like, ‘BLAM! BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!’ and there was all this smoke and it was like, ‘Ooooooohhhh!’ and we looked back…and they were gone…†said Kyle, VERY quickly.
Doggie didn’t understand a single word that Kyle had just said, so he removed the tape from Bang’s mouth.
“Amy and David are missing,†said Bang, calmly.
“Oh, that’s just wonderful…â€said Doggie, leaving the room.
“We’re still here. Why won’t anyone let us go?†asked Kyle.
---
*8:46- Some Random “Islandâ€*
Thanks to David, Amy was more calm, cool, and collected. But at the same time, David’s mind began to wander elsewhere.
“Okay, so we do have some food and drinks, but the majority of them are Twinkies and Mountain Dew. Now, we can build a raft or start a bigger signal fire or somehow…repair the zords with wood. Actually, scratch that third option,†said Amy.
“Hey, if our powers can help us breathe in space, maybe we can breathe underwater! SPD, Emergency!†said David, morphing and running toward the water.
“David, I don’t think-â€
David jumped into the water, but forgot that there were holes on his helmet. He ran out of the water as quickly as possible.
“Power down…†said David, demorphing and trying to breathe.
“Never mind… Maybe we should get some sleep first…†said Amy.
---
Amy and I have become the topic of many conversations back at the Delta Base.
*Simudeck*
Rellim and Brad had just finished up a simulation.
“Gee, I hope nothing bad happened to those two,†said Rellim.
“I hope that Amy’s okay. She’s hot,†said Brad.
*Ladies Room*
“I really hope that David’s okay… He’s one of the only guys here who’s nice to me!†said Ann.
“I hope Amy ISN’T okay. I hate her with a burning passion,†said a furious S.O.P.H.I.E.
“Who’s Amy?†asked Ann.
Suddenly, John ran inside the Ladies Room. Ann and S.O.P.H.I.E screamed.
“Why are there girls in the Men’s Room?†he asked.
*Hallway*
Evan and Jean-Luc were walking in the hallway.
“I hope that David ROTS wherever he is! How dare he calls me one of those stupid, empty-headed putrid pillaging pirates!†said Evan.
“You talk funny,†said Jean-Luc. Evan grabbed his arm and flipped him over.
*Command Center*
“Have you found them yet?†Doggie asked Kat.
“No, sir. We’ve sent search parties, sent planes and helicopters and even gone so far to make posters and hire skywriters,†said Kat. “Do you think they’re all right?â€
“Cadet Sandy is a very resourceful woman. Cadet Magio is…not. Add a positive with a negative…they have absolutely no chance,†said Doggie.
But some were too busy to even notice that we’re gone.
Piggy had made a huge and dangerous contraption that I am too lazy to describe. Use your imagination.
“Yes, NOW I’ll get that Doggie Cruger!†said Piggy. He turned around to see Ellen behind him. She put her hand out like she expected a payment. Piggy searched his pockets and found nothing.
“Uh, I owe you?†said Piggy.
“You are in so much trouble!†said Ellen, running off.
Meanwhile, Boom, who was on a wheelchair and had bandages all over him was leaving the infirmary.
“And don’t forget to have someone pre-chew your food!†reminded Dr. Felix.
Suddenly, Ellen ran into Boom, who fell off his wheelchair. Ellen ignored him and kept running to the Command Center.
“DOCTOR!!! Can you carry me back?†yelled Boom.
“I’m a doctor, not a weight lifter,†said Dr. Felix.
---
*7:49 AM*
David was sleeping close by the trees with a blanket made of leaves.
“No, mom…give me the hammer… The crab has my credit card…†David mumbled in his sleep.
David suddenly woke up and sprung up like a slice of bread in a toaster.
“COME BACK HERE!†he shouted. “Oh, it was just a dream.â€
David looked around.
“Amy?â€
“Over here!â€
David walked over and saw Amy in her civilian clothes, cooking some fish with the fire near by the ocean.
“Morning,†said Amy, handing David a plate made of bamboo with fish on it.
“Thanks.â€
You know, it’s creepy that fish have no eyelids. It’s like they’re still watching you when you eat them…
David stared at it like it was pleading to not be eaten.
“David, you okay?†asked Amy.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m all right.â€
And then I noticed that Amy looked like a complete wreck. It looks like she stayed up all night…
“I’m just curious…but did you get ANY sleep last night?â€
“A little. I’m just trying to figure out how we can get off this island…â€
“So you spent all night…thinking?â€
“Kind of. I think that building a raft is the most logical way of getting out of here. I even made a list of supplies and tools we might need,†said Amy, showing David a list.
David grabbed the list and ripped it into pieces and began stepping on them, shocking Amy.
“David? What the hell??â€
“Amy, you need to take a break. I understand that you want to survive and you’re working really hard an blah blah blah, but just RELAX… Take a break…â€
“But why did you have to rip the list up?†asked a bewildered Amy.
“Well… uh… I don’t know. Don’t worry, we’ll fix it with tape or something.â€
“Oh, and where do you suggest we get some tape?â€
“I don’t know, I’m not a magician. Stop trying to change the subject, you!†David said, as Amy closed her eyes, trying to hide her anger and sorrow. “Take some time off… it’s such a nice day outside today…†David looked at the ocean. “In fact, lit looks like a nice day to swim…â€
Suddenly, like a ninja, he pulled off his clothes revealing a bathing suit. Why he wore one under his clothes… you probably don’t want to know. Amy was horrified and confused.
David ran to the water and jumped in.
“Come on in! The water’s great!†he yelled. Amy looked at the torn list… and looked at David playing in the water, splashing like a five year old.
“Ah, what the heck?†said Amy, doing the exact same thing as David and jumping into the water.
---
*Delta Base- Interrogation Room*
Bang and Kyle were still tied up to chairs.
“So… how long until someone realizes we’re missing?†asked Bang.
“I do not know. Maybe in a few hours… or years… Maybe we’ll grow beards… They are fuzzy… but itchy and they taste weird,†said Kyle.
“O…k. Hey, if we were in David and Amy’s position, would everyone go through so much trouble to find us?â€
“Probably not… we’re useless…†said Kyle.
“Speak for your self, Kyle.â€
“I have to pee really badly,†said Kyle.
---
*8:11 AM*
David and Amy were sitting down on the sand, letting the waves hit them.
“Ah, now isn’t this better? The water is washing all of your troubles and stress away… Your ands and feet are now more wrinkly… The sun is shining… the wind is blowing…the corpses of those who were attacked by sharks are floating…the birds are flying…â€
‘Yeah, it is nice… But that’s enough of that,†said Amy, getting up. But then, she saw that everything was gone. The fire was out. Their supplies were gone. Their food was gone. Even their clothes were gone. All were either washed away by the tide and David and Amy were too stupid to realize that they were washed away or blown away by the wind.
David got up and saw that everything was gone. He saw the anger in Amy’s face, like she was going to explode into colorful dots.
“Whoa. What happened here?†asked David.
Amy turned around and looked at him.
“This is all YOUR fault! We have NOTHING! NOTHING! We might DIE,†said Amy, who was finally losing it.
“Don’t worry! …at least we still have each other to keep ourselves company?†said David, backing away. “And technically, it was your fault, since you put all of that stuff near the water.â€
Amy picked up a large stick.
Oh my goodness, she’s going to IMPALE me with that!
Amy drew a line on the sand.
Phew.
“This is my side, and that’s yours. I won’t go on your side… so you better not come on my side…†said Amy.
“Fine…fine…†said David. Both turned around and walked away onto their respective sides.
But David turned around and ran into Amy’s side.
“Hey Amy, I’m on YOUR side! How do you like it now? What are you going to do?†taunted David. Amy ran to him, screamed and punched him in the face as hard as she could.
---
*8:43 AM- Amy’s Side of the “Islandâ€*
Amy was sitting in the sand, trying to think how to get off the island as usual.
“What the hell was wrong with David… Why did I ever listen to him? I mean, how will ‘relaxing’ and doing nothing solve anything?†she said to herself.
But Amy heard a sound that she’s been waiting to hear ever since she got onto the island. She heard the loud roar of an airplane near by. Once she saw it, she was filled with excitement and relief. She jumped and shouted, trying to get their attention.
*Meanwhile, on the plane…*
A flight attendant walked into the cockpit.
“Captain, what should we do with the leftovers from last night? There isn’t anywhere else to put them. We can’t put it in the trash,†she said.
“Why not?†asked the captain.
“A passenger was annoyed by the crying babies and put them in there. He called their parents ‘disgusting’ and beat up the air marshals. There’s no space.â€
“Oh. Just dump them out and hope they don’t land on anyone.â€
“Good idea.â€
*Back on the island…*
As the plane flew off, Amy sat down… her excitement and relief gone… until she saw something fall from the plane. A huge box landed in the ocean.
“What the…†Amy went in the water took a closer look at the box. In big, white letters, it said, “AIRPLANE FOOD LEFTOVERSâ€
“…NICE,†said Amy.
*8:48 AM- David’s Side of the “Islandâ€*
Meanwhile, David wasn’t having as much luck. He picked up a leaf and a small stick and poked holes on the leaf to make it look like it had eyes and a mouth.
“There! I will name you Spaulding and you will be my new best friend!†David said, holding, “Spaulding.â€
“Wait, there’s something on your face,†said David, poking the leaf, which fell apart.
“Noooo!!! SPAULDING!!!!â€
Suddenly, he forgot about “Spaulding’ and got an idea.
Maybe I can make a radio out of a coconut!
David thought more for a while.
Nah, that’s a stupid idea. Hey, maybe if I catch all of the trees on fire, a ship will come out of nowhere and save me!
David ran deep into the island, tearing branches off of trees and picking twigs up.
“Yes, my plan’s perfect!†said David.
But he then saw something horrifying. David looked up and saw a bloody, dead body on a tree.
“Oh my goodness… is that Matt Parkman from Heroes?†said David. He dropped the twigs and sticks and ran away in fear, when he heard something growl.
David stopped and saw two red eyes. It got closer… and CLOSER…
It was a squirrel.
“Aw, aren’t you cute?â€
Suddenly, the squirrel jumped at David’s face, scratching his face. David tried getting it off of him. As he was struggling, he hit the trees, ground, sharp branches, etc. until he landed into a mud pit. The squirrel was finally off. David was lying there, and saw that the squirrel was motionless and smoke was coming out.
Apparently, it was a crazy deranged robot squirrel.
“What the heck?â€
It was at that time when I ACUTALLY realized something without being knocked unconscious. I realized that nature had an iron fist. I had to show NO mercy against trees, branches, dead celebrities on trees and robotic squirrels! No mercy!
---
*9:37 AM- Amy’s Side of the “Islandâ€*
Amy was finishing eating the leftovers of the airplane food, which is actually GOOD in the year 2026.
“Wait…maybe I could turn that wooden box into a raft!†said Amy.
But she saw something strange in the corner of her eye. She looked to her right and saw a football.
“What the…†Amy got up and saw a little boy pick it up.
“I found it, Dad!†said the little boy, running away.
“Okay…†Amy got up and ran where the little boy once was.
She then saw a boardwalk, buildings, and more importantly, hundreds of people, playing in the water, sand, sunbathing, playing football and volley ball, kicking sand into other people’s faces, teenagers getting beaten up by lifeguards for playing their music too loud and people hitting each other with umbrellas. You know, beach stuff.
“We’re at a BEACH? I have to tell David!†said Amy, running back to David’s side of the island. “David! Where are you? We aren’t really stranded on an island!†She spent about half an hour looking everywhere, but couldn’t find him. “Uh… I don’t have time for this… Maybe if I could get to the Delta Base first… maybe they could help me look for him…â€
Amy ran back to where she saw everyone, but looked back for a few seconds.
“I hope he’s okay…â€
Amy ran across the beach, passing everyone, on the boardwalk and into the parking lot.
A man was starting his car, but Amy opened the door, grabbed him and pushed him away.
“What the hell?â€
Amy drove off in his car. She drove as fast as she could, even driving on a red light, causing many car crashes.
“Where is it? It’s the only building that looks like a dog! I think…â€
Amy finally saw the Delta Base. She parked the car, and ran inside.
*10: 36 AM- Delta Base*
Amy stormed inside the base, running to the Command Center catching the eyes of everyone inside.
“COMMANDER!â€
Commander Cruger, Kat and S.O.P.H.I.E saw Amy and their jaws dropped.
“COMMANDER! I’m so glad- wait, why is everyone looking at me?†said Amy, looking around.
She then remembered that she was still wearing her bathing suit. Brad took out his cell phone and took a picture.
“Oh. Uh, Commander, I’m up here!†said Amy.
“Oh, uh, what? Sorry. You were saying?†said Doggie, looking up and Amy’s face.
“I’ll change first…†said Amy, walking to her room as Brad followed her, taking more pictures.
*11: 02 AM- The Accursed Beach*
Amy, Dogg other cadets drove to the beach, and walked over to where Amy and David had been. They split up and searched for David.
Kat and Doggie found the wreckage of Amy and David’s SWAT Flyers.
“How in Zoltar’s name will we get these out of here?†asked Doggie.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Boom will be more than happy to pull them out,†said Kat.
Jean-Luc was looking around, and saw footprints on the ground. He followed them, when something pulled him up. There was a rope around his leg, and he was hanging on a tree branch, upside down.
“The blood is rushing down my head!†he complained. He could see someone yards away from him, eating what looked like a dead animal. Hw turned around, and looked at Jean-Luc, frightening him.
It was David, his body covered in mud and his face covered with red and orange paint.
“It’s MY horse! You can’t have it!†David shouted, growling at Jean-Luc,
Brad and Amy came, and saw David scaring the bejeebers out of Jean-Luc.
“DAVID?†said Amy, who was relieved and disturbed at the same time.
Brad took out his cell phone and took a picture of him. “Maybe I can use this as blackmail one day…â€
Amy ran up to David and hugged him.
“I’m sorry that I left you behind..†she said. Brad shot at the rope with his cadet blaster and Jean-Luc fell, landing on his head.
“Nah, that’s okay. Besides, I’ve been doing fine here. I found a horse wandering around-â€
“Wait, you killed and ATE a horse?†asked Amy. They heard a voice near-by.
“Oh, Oceancookie! Where are you! We have to get ready for the race tomorrow!†someone yelled.
“Let’s go,†said David. He and Amy ran away while Brad was pulling Jean-Luc, who was still on the ground.
---
*11:31 AM*
David and Amy were both sitting in the back of the Delta Cruiser.
“Hey, Amy, I’m sorry too. You know, about everything that happened,†said David.
“Nah, that’s okay. I did kind of act like a crazy, psychotic control freak,†said Amy.
“Yeah, you did.â€
“Oh, shut up David.
We all learned lessons that day. I learned to take things more seriously and Amy learned the exact opposite.
But then, I remembered something important.
But then, I remembered something important.
“Commander what ever happened to Bang and Kyle?†asked David.
“…oh, that’s just great,†said Doggie, who drove faster.
Commander learned to never take his eyes off of anyone or bad things could happen.
*11:45 AM*
Doggie opened the door to the interrogation room and saw that Kyle grew a very long bard and was eating it while Bang was looking away, horrified by the sight of it.
And Piggy learned to never try to kill anyone above you, as you always suffer the consequences.
In the hallway, Ellen was sitting on Piggy’s back. He was willing to do anything for her as long as she doesn’t tell Doggie about his assassination attempts.
“Faster, horsie! Faster!†she yelled, as Piggy was mumbling angrily.
*11:47 AM*
Just think about it! An entire season of "24" could be over by now!
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Try to guess how many “people stranded on an island†movies, books and TV episodes were referenced.
