The day has finally arrived. After getting just about everything else (who thought we’d get Jet Force Gemini before this?), the Nintendo Switch Online N64 library will finally receive Donkey Kong 64, the 1999 top-seller that put an Expansion Pak into every console, introduced Yanks to Jetpac and made millions despise Beaver Bother. I myself sunk dozens of hours into this game. This is my hard-won 101% screenshot straight from the original cart, a feat I will never attempt again.

We all have opinions on DK64. Some people think it’s too big and complicated. Others like the size and number of things to do. Some hate the backtracking and collectathon gameplay stretched to its limit, others love those things. Opinions on the DK Rap are a matter of taste. You can’t deny this though: the humor and personality is Rare at its peak, crammed with hilarious moments like Chunky cowering whenever you select him and insisting you pick Tiny instead. We’ll be missing out if the game doesn’t come with a digital copy of the manual, which was written by Cranky Kong and packed with sarcastic asides.
And I’ll grant the following negatives: some of the tougher minigames are more like chores than fun, especially the ones you’ve gotta repeat over and over because you keep goofing them up. When you get to the slide with the giant bug, you will come to loathe it. And it’s my understanding a race in Fungi Forest has been rendered impossible due to the original relying on the N64 slowdown to pace the competing racer. Maybe they’ll have fixed that, and maybe not.
If you’ve never played DK64, you’ve got a long road ahead of you. It’s bigger than Donkey Kong Bananza, if you can believe it. The whole mess barrels onto Nintendo Switch Online June 3. If you know the words, you can join in too.


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