The Flashback Interview: Charlotte Helmkamp-Kemp
Over the course of my time so far at Pop Geeks, I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing quite a few talents with connections to Playboy. From Playmates like Carrie Stevens and Jeana Keough to celebrity models like Shari Shattuck and Darcy DeMoss, I’ve loved hearing their stories. However, there was a former interview subject of mine with a Playboy connection I’d been hoping to do a second interview with for a long time, and that’s Charlotte Helmkamp-Kemp.
Charlotte was Playboy’s Miss December 1982, the month and year I was born. She was one of the first talents I interviewed for my previous writing base, RetroJunk, after my mom passed away in 2010. My mom was a prude who viewed Playboy to be as bad as hardcore porn, and refused to let me enjoy it. I couldn’t do so until after her passing, and so I reached out to Charlotte about an interview in late Fall/early Winter of that year for an e-mail interview.
I connected with Charlotte on Facebook a few years later, and I knew that I wanted to interview her again, this time on the phone for Pop Geeks. It took a while for it all to come together, but we spoke recently about her life over the course of the past twelve years, as well as revisiting topics from our first interview at new angles. I hope you all enjoy reading this interview, and getting to know this incredibly beautiful and diverse talent.
Say hello to Charlotte Helmkamp-Kemp.
Charlotte: Hey, Johnny.
Johnny: Hello, Charlotte. How are you?
Charlotte: I’m okay.
Johnny: Alright. Well, I have my questions ready to go, starting with this: You’re soon to be doing your FINAL NUDE PHOTO SHOOT before you get breast reduction surgery. As you still look beautiful and amazing, what made you decide to wrap up your time taking nudes?
Charlotte: Well, because after I get this surgery, I will never do any nudes anymore. This is the last of it with my big breasts.
Johnny: Alright.
Charlotte: I’m still 5′ 8”, 123 pounds, long red hair, and with 34 E/F breasts. This will be in Chicago and Houston. They can e-mail me about the details at pmdec198261@yahoo.com.
Johnny: Alright. To go to my next question, A&E recently did a multi-part documentary about Playboy that didn’t look kindly upon the magazine or Hugh Hefner. What’s your take on that documentary?
Charlotte: Well, this documentary came out after he died, and I don’t believe that people could Playboy-trash or Hef-trash when he was alive. Why did they come out with all this? I just don’t believe in bashing someone when they’re dead. They have no recourse, no way to defend themselves, so I think it is not right after someone is dead.
Johnny: Alright. Switching back to you…
Charlotte: Wait, when wasn’t it about me? (Laughing) I’m kidding, I’m kidding.
Johnny: In recent years, you’ve been very active behind the scenes, working as both a publisher of books and a producer of film and television projects. What has behind-the-scenes work provided you that being in front of a camera has not?
Charlotte: You know what, Johnny? I never really wanted to act, and when I quit acting, I had three commercials and two movies I was up for until the end. I never liked it because I don’t like to say someone else’s words as I’m more of an improvisational person. I mean, they weren’t huge parts, but I’ve always felt that they were parts I couldn’t identify with. I have been a writer since I was three years old. I thought, “I want to write things that people say”, and then, if they want to improv, improv certain things. I’m okay with that.
They say, “Oh, you’re so gorgeous in front of the camera”, but you know what? The funny thing is that the prettiest girls, besides Grace Kelly and a few others, the classic beauties never really get a chance because you’re too pretty. I always had to shadow that. I’m not trying to be vain, but I had to shadow that natural beauty for everything. The words didn’t come out the way I wanted, but I thought I should say them.
Johnny: I can see that, and as I did read Centerfolds, I do know that you are an amazing storyteller.
Charlotte: Well, all those stories were actually from the Playmates. His editor came, and he wanted to take out so much. I said, “No. I want every story in their words”. My stories are my stories, but all the other women’s stories are all in their own words, not something that had to be edited and denied. We took out the hems and haws and aaahs, and made it their stories. When we edited it, I went back to each woman and said, “Is this okay? Does it sound like you?”, and that’s their stories. I didn’t want it to be in my view. I wanted it to be in their words, expressing themselves.
The project I have coming, that I’m trying to get money for, is basically called Centerfolds’ True Stories. I wrote my book, but a lot of women from my book have died, and I’ve gotten some fantastic, awesome Playmates to go on camera and tell their stories, not Hef-bashing and not Playboy-bashing. People don’t realize that, as Playmates, our lives are iconic. Our stories are fantastic, titillating, scintillating, everything, but they are our own stories.
I have a Bunny, I have six or seven Playmates, and a photographer from Playboy. Their stories are so much more fun. Yeah, there are some dark spots, but you have to even the keel, you know?
Johnny: Well, that’s definitely a project I’m looking forward to.
Charlotte: I need funding, for sure (laughing).
Johnny: Well, in previous personal conversations, you’ve discussed a project called The Mansion. Where are you at with that?
Charlotte: It’s called The Mansion, and the subtitle is: Playmate’s Hell. It’s fictional, but it’s a love story. It’s a horror story. There’s everything in it, and I’m sending it out again because, as of last July, it was taken off an exclusive company’s development slate.
I started working on this other project, Centerfold Secrets, because Miki told me about this 10-part series from A&E. I have not watched it. I just heard some good, but mostly bad about the bashing. Maybe that’s their way to vent, and that’s good for them. I just don’t think it should be all one-sided, and that’s why my project brings in the other side of Playboy Playmates with their stories, without bashing Hef or bashing Playboy.
Johnny: Well, I certainly admire what you do to help preserve these stories.
Charlotte: Well, I started the Playboy Running Team because I was running marathons. Playboy hooked onto it, and I was the first and only Playmate they’ve ever given the license to. I ran marathons, and the other girls tried to run 5Ks, but the thing about it was that Playmates have always been seen as either exploited girls or victims, and I tried to heighten their status to more than that.
My company was called The Playboy Running Team, but the manifesto was “Playmates With A Purpose”. We gave a lot to charities. For four years, we went all over America, and basically tried to get people to understand that Playmates are not just iconic for Playboy, but as themselves. We had more than just sex appeal. We were human beings with a life that expanded beyond Playboy. You know what I mean?
Johnny: I do.
Charlotte: We could use our abilities to rise above what most people think of. It can be a curse, or it can be a providence. I chose to go to the way of providence.
Johnny: And you did amazing work, and you’re still doing it.
Charlotte: I try. I really emphasize trying to reach beyond.
Johnny: Well, keep at it. It’s amazing work you’re doing. To go to my next question, in your chapter in Centerfolds, you mentioned that you filmed scenes for Risky Business during your time in Chicago, although the scenes ended up getting deleted. Knowing how movies can often influence a model’s photo shoots, did you ever do any modeling work inspired by Risky Business, or, for that matter, any 80s movies?
Charlotte: Well, Frankenhooker was in 1990, and before that, I did a movie called Repossesed. I was also in Posed For Murder, which was horrible. That was my first starring role, and I never saw my acting again after that. I never saw it because I don’t like seeing me saying other people’s words. When I was first approached by Frank Henenlotter for Frankenhooker, he said, “She’s too pretty”. I really had to slut my look (laughing) because I was playing a hooker.
Besides Posed For Murder, there was Repossessed. I was one of the big-chested girls, and Leslie Nielsen adored me. He actually invited me so many times to his trailer, but we just talked. No screwing. For his favorite people on set, and I only had, like, two shots in it, he would put a whoopie cushion when he was laying flat on the floor. He pushed it, and I said, ‘Whoa, that’s a big fart!”. They cut that out, but he got me quite a few times, and that was wonderful. He was a very talented, and a cool person. I don’t know if “cool” is still popular, but he was..
Johnny: Oh, I use it, and I’m always going to use it. I’ll never be used to saying “chill”. It’s just not me. I still use “cool”.
Charlotte: I like “cool”. I mean, I grew up with “cool”.
Johnny: Same here.
Charlotte: In severe moments, I’ll say, “Hey! Chill, chill!”. I always try to be the mediator between fighting factions. I say, “Let’s use our words. Cool, Chill”, before it heightens.
Johnny: Well, to switch gears from the comic to the serious, we had discussed this in one of our previous phone calls, and I know you’d given me your okay before, but would you be okay with me asking about Bill Cosby?
Charlotte: Well, Bill Cosby is simple. It was my third day there, and Lance Rentzel was like my bodyguard. For some odd reason, he’d taken a shine to me, not sexually, and not a peeping tom. When I came in, I looked around and he went, “Oh my god, she’s like a babe out of the woods”. He said, “I’m going to watch you”, because so many girls had been corrupted and procured, etc., from his comrades.
I came down to the green room, which was actually a solarium. It was a breakfast room, and I was eating porridge with raisins, which I loved, when Bill came in, sat down, and started reading the paper. He then started lowering the paper and looking over. He was wearing a white robe, and everyone knows that if you were wearing a white robe, you’d probably been in an orgy the night before.
The thing is that he started bothering me. I said, “You know what? I know who you are, and respect you, but please respect my space right now”. I was only 20 years old. He got up, his robe fell open, he came at me, and he had a hard-on. When he came out, you’d never seen a toad jump as far. I jumped over three chairs and I started screaming. The butlers came out and said, “We’ll take care of it. Don’t worry. Just do what you have to do. We’ll take care of this”.
The butlers really saved me quite a few times. Jerry Buss basically tried to rape me, and I started screaming. I mean, a lot of girls did not scream, and their screams have not been heard. By the same token, I did. I didn’t go for any of that. I just didn’t. I have a voice and I use it, and these guys were just like anything goes. I was brought up as the girl next door., “That’s not the way things happen”.
Johnny: Well, I certainly admire you for having the courage to stand up to him. I used to be a Cosby fan, but then all this stuff came out about him, and I stopped being a fan.
Charlotte: Well, here’s the thing. They have all the Cosby shows on BET and other channels, and he was a good actor, but I think his personal life was completely opposite. They could be the Jello king. He rushed me on my third day there. He tried to grab my shoulder, and I jumped three chairs, as I said, like a toad. I was not going to have that scorpion on my back (laughing)….As a metaphor.
Johnny: I understand. On a lighter note, what comedians do you find likable and funny?
Charlotte: Oh, Lenny Bruce, Eddie Izzard, Billy Connolly. I love him. I like people the way they are, and make fun of it. I respect a lot of comedians, although I don’t find their humor funny. I think those are my three top comedians, and Richard Pryor, of course. When I lived in England, they had a show called Spitting Image. It took the piss out of the Royal Family and the Dowager Mother. The other one I remember seeing was Sting and David Bowie. They were using chopsticks with their feet, and they were talking political, nonsensical, total bullshit.
They were really taking the piss out of Sting, and I thought that was so great because when I met Sting, both he and my fiancee, then were being paid by Levi’s Jeans. I remember going to the opera, and I remember being in Paris. I came up with my fiancee, Stefan, and Sting said, (scoff), this interview’s over”, and he walked away. I thought, “What a fucking bastard”, and Stefan went on because he drove for Ferrari. Sting looked at Stefan with disdain because he was a car driver. Stefan was so much more than that, and he drove for Ferrari. On Spitting Image, Sting was so obtuse, and that’s the way I think of him. I do like some of his music, especially with The Police, but Spitting Image was over the top.
I think all Americans should see it, but I couldn’t bring it back because it was on BETA. I’d always wanted to see the whole show. It was hilarious.
Johnny: To go to my next question, although you’re known for your Playboy centerfolds, you’ve also done fashion modeling, so what are the most outrageous fashions you can recall wearing for a photo shoot?
Charlotte: I can’t find it anywhere, but it was with Grace Jones, and we went to the opera in Paris. She had this unbelievable dress when doing photo shoots, and I came in as like Marie Antoinette, although her first name actually was Charlotte.
Johnny: Oh!
Charlotte: I came in with this beautiful dress, and Grace was on stilts. She commanded an audience, and I came in dressed in pink, with a white headdress and everything else. I still can’t get anything from the Paris paparazzi with that, but that was really fun.
I think some of the photo shoots where I was Miss Budweiser, as I was the first one and did it for two years, had a lot of photos of me getting on a Clydesdale and having a Dalmatian behind me. I was walking with a Clydesdale, and I was dressed in equestrian gear with my hat and my rompers. That one I never got pictures from, but that was fun, too.
I don’t think, with Playboy, there was anything outrageous. I did not like my centerfold because I had the Pat Benatar hair. I hated it. I was like, “I never wear my hair like this”. I don’t think there was anything really great about any of my photo shoots that I would consider to be outstanding.
Johnny: Well, when I said “outrageous”, I meant that in a positive way because I’ve always enjoyed the fashions and hairstyles of the 80s, and even though you say you didn’t like how your hair looked in your centerfold, I think it looked great, but of course you’ve always looked great from then to now, and still do.
Charlotte: Johnny, you don’t have to do that. Thank you. I totally appreciate it.
Johnny: Alright. Well, we’ll go to my next question. Your IMDB biography mentions that you did film work in Europe and Japan. As those films haven’t shown up on IMDB yet, which of those international films are you most proud of having worked on?
Charlotte: The two in Japan, which were produced by Bandai. After they saw Posed For Murder, they brought me over, and I was the first Japanese Playmate from America. I did two movies with them. I also did four TV shows in Japan. I went up with a good friend, Januaria, and did a couple of things for Bebe and another top designer in Milano.
I had a breast reduction after I’d done Playboy, and I didn’t lose my baby fat until around, mmm, 27. I was modeling in Europe then, but I didn’t do a whole lot of runway. I’m 5′ 8”, so I’m a little on the short side, plus I wasn’t super-skinny thin. I wasn’t that super-skinny drape. You know, they drape clothes on you, but I wasn’t really like that. I didn’t like it, plus the clothes they put on me draped weirdly on me. I just thought they were kind of okay. When I was in fashion modeling, I did a Sears catalog and a couple of runway things, but mostly I was the first and only Budweiser girl.
Johnny: Switching gears, you’ve attended several different conventions and autograph shows, ranging from Glamourcon to The Hollywood Show to New Jersey’s Chiller Theatre. What’s been the most rewarding part of attending conventions for you?
Charlotte: I’ve enjoyed a lot of the Glamourcons because, at Chiller, it was Frankenhooker and Playmate and not much else, but Glamourcon and Hollywood have always been fruitful. I like meeting fans. They are very good people, although I ended up with a stalker from one, which was taken care of, but it’s always nice meeting your fans. I want to sit and talk with them. Everyone’s like, “Move on, move on”, but I like to talk to people and intellectually connect with them.
Johnny: I can see that. I’ve talked to many talents that have done conventions over the years, and they’ve said that the fans have been a great part of attending the shows. Speaking of which, what’s been the most wonderful piece of memorabilia you’ve signed at a convention?
Charlotte: Some guy came in with a picture I had never seen. It was a Playboy photo. I signed it and I was like, “Can you send me this?”. He had it printed, and he did send it to me. I thought it was an honor
I also did a convention with Terri Welles and Carrie Leigh. Terri had won a case against Playboy for, basically, us all using our name and our title. They can’t take it away from us. Carrie had won a lawsuit against Hef. Although the Playboy Running Team was great, they shut me down. They thought it was going to be a mom-and-pop operation. They wouldn’t let me sub-license anything like calendars, which the Playboy Running Team was going to do. They shut me down within three-and-a-half years.
There was one picture of the three of us giving the finger at this show, Terri, myself and Carrie. That was fun. I’ve been high and low with Playboy. I’m probably the only Playmate who’s been 86’d from Playboy twice, and yet I was the only Playboy Playmate who ever received the license from Playboy. Hef, after Shannnon Tweed, had wanted me as his girlfriend, and I said, “No. You’re like my grandfather. No, no, no, no. I do not want to live as a bird in a gilded cage. No, thank you. I adore you, but no”.
One time, when I got 86’d, we were playing backgammon. In college, I was a backgammon champion, and Hef would always try to change the cube. I said, ‘You can’t do that”, but he always tried. He was always messing with me, and one time I got so mad that I threw the backgammon board at him and cut him above his eyebrow. I got 86’d, and was allowed back in two months later. Hef knew I was smart, and I think he knew I didn’t find him attractive, but that was more like a respect thing than anything. I was not one of those Playmates who said, “Anything you want”. I was not like that, and I never have been. I don’t bow or denigrate myself to anyone.
Johnny: Well, you’re definitely an amazing example of how to stand up for yourself, and again, that’s something I admire about you.
Charlotte: I really didn’t have a choice. That’s just me. I mean, I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me, but I’ve had a lot of good things happen to me. They temper each other. I do speaking engagements on being raped and coming out the other side, having OCD and working with it. That’s just me. I don’t really shy away from anything unless I feel the intent is evil. I may walk away from something, but I won’t shy away from things that are challenging.
Johnny: Well, keep rocking on. Two more questions. First, staying with conventions, what’s been the wildest personalization you’ve ever written on someone’s autograph?
Charlotte: Oh, my god. There have been quite a few. I think, on one of them, I wrote, “Great speaking to you. It would be great also to…”. I’ve written some really wild things. It’s all in fun, but they went, “Oh, my god. That’s so cool!”. I can’t remember the writings exactly, but I’ve written some pretty hilarious things on people’s items, and they just loved it. It was really funny because it was after talking with them, and then I wrote not a paragraph, but a few fine lines of provocative, but fun, teasing things.
Johnny: I ordered several autographs from your website a few years back. I can recall asking if you would be okay with explicit personalizations. You said you were, and I loved what you came up with. I often ask, when getting autographs from Playboy Playmates or adult film models, if they’re okay with risque personalizations. You said you were in a Facebook PM, and I just wanted to say that I loved what you came up with for me. I can’t recall it offhand. I’d have to go through my autograph collection to get the pictures, but I liked what you came up with a lot.
Charlotte: You know, the thing is we probably talked a bit before I came up with the personalizations because when I come up with personalizations that are wild, crazy, nuts, it’s in fun.
Johnny: Oh, yeah. I never took it as anything other than that. I know it’s all in fun.
Charlotte: Yeah! When I get to know someone, even if it’s for a ten-minute talk, a lot of people break down as frightened fans. They speak, and I love to listen to people and what they have to say, and I correlate it to a great signing.
Johnny: Well, it’s definitely great work that you do. I now come to my final question. You’ve been a model, an actress, an athlete, an author, and a publisher. What talents do you have that you would like to show the world next?
Charlotte: The production of my scripts, and seeing something that I’ve actually written be put on the screen. That’s the next phase of my life, and I’m just coming into that phase. I have ten scripts, and I’m doing another book of short stories.
Johnny: That’s fantastic to hear. I look forward to it. I really think you’re a versatile talent, and whatever’s next on the horizon, I’ll gladly be there for it. Before I wrap up, I just want to say that it’s been an honor to talk to you again. You were actually the first interview I did after my mom died back in 2010. When she was alive, I wasn’t allowed to reach out to Playboy Playmates or adult film stars about interviews because my mom was rather prudish. I loved doing that interview with you back in 2010, and here we are 12 years later, wrapping up a second interview, and it’s been an honor. I think you’re a great beauty with a wonderful outlook on life, and I’m honored to count you among my friends.
Charlotte: Johnny, that is so sweet, and I appreciate it more than you will ever know, and I feel that you have come a long way. Your persistence, and your respect and your friendship, has meant a lot to me.
Johnny: I’m honored to hear those words, and I’m glad to count you among my friends. I mean, twenty years ago, when I didn’t have any idea of how to deal with my autism spectrum disorder, and when I was in a very dark place, I never thought that, twenty years later…
Charlotte: Well, you know what, Johnny? That’s what friends do. They bring you up instead of letting you sit in the mire. Basically, it’s a lost art of speaking and writing. Most people do texts, and that’s all cool, but talking to someone, knowing their troubles and relating them to your own troubles, that’s a friendship, and a good one, too.
Johnny: If you ever come back to Chiller Theatre, I’ll definitely be meeting you. I would love to see that happen.
Charlotte: I don’t think I’m going to do any more conventions. The last Chiller I did, I did a photo shoot with a guy who had stainless steel garb all over. He shot me in his room and everything else, and I went back to my room. He called the police because I had worn a chestpiece that was very elaborate, and he accused me of stealing it. The cops came in and took apart my room, went back to his room, and when they pulled the bed out, they found the necklace behind it.
When I took off the necklace on the pillow, it fell behind, and this guy gave me a bracelet, which…Whatever. I should’ve sued him back for defamation. He got on his knees and said, “I’m so sorry”. I’m surprised the police didn’t take him for defamation. He kept apologizing and giving explanations. When I was a kid, I stole things, like a candy bar, but I made my penance for that, and I’ve never done that in a photo shoot. That was my last Chiller experience, and they never invited me back.
Johnny: I’m sorry you had that experience.
Charlotte: It was quite a to-do. The cops came to my room, and they opened my suitcase and everything. They looked through everything, but couldn’t find it, then they went back to his room, and it was behind the bed. They never asked me back. I don’t think I’m going to do any more conventions.
If people want to buy a picture, they can go to Playmates Photos. They can buy a picture of me from there, or again, they can e-mail at pmdec198261@yahoo.com about THE PRIVATE SHOOTS WHERE, FOR THE LAST TIME, I WILL HAVE MY 34E/F BREASTS AND FINAL NUDE PHOTO SHOOT in the first two weeks of April.
Johnny: That’s really all I have at the moment, but I’ll definitely be in touch again soon. I thank you for your friendship, and I encourage you to keep being the awesome, badass person that you are.
Charlotte: Thanks, Johnny, and you, too. Ditto, my love.
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On Amazon, you can buy Charlotte Helmkamp-Kemp’s books Centerfolds and For My Eyes Only (In her words about For My Eyes Only, skip the poetry and look at the short stories).
I would like to again thank Charlotte for her time and for her friendship. I hope you all enjoyed reading this interview. Feel free to leave a comment below with your thoughts on this conversation, and if you have any suggestions for talents you would like to see me interview in the future, don’t hesitate to let me know.
Coming soon to the Flashback Interview are a first-time conversation with Oscar-winning makeup designer Barney Burman and a second talk with my 2016 interview subject Katharine Kramer.
Bob
March 29, 2022 @ 2:46 pm
People can say what they want about Playboy but I read them for the articles! The centerfolds are just a Bonus. I even kept buying during the times they stopped Nudity. Charlotte still looks great for age and I wonder what the Playmates of her time thinks of What Playboy has turned into. They now have Male Centerfolds like Bad Bunny or Brettman Rock.
cmoneyspinner
March 29, 2022 @ 4:28 pm
That’s cool you were actually able to get in touch with a person via Facebook and arrange an interview. It was good of her to consent to the interview. One time I contacted a sci-fi writer for an interview. I did not think he would respond. But he did and he was happy to discuss his book-writing and answer a few personal questions. Breast reduction surgery? WOW! That;s just as scary as breast augmentation. Hope it all goes well for her.