Like it or not, you’re old and it’s time to reboot a film franchise you grew up with. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, which unlike the original movie will use the British title of the book it’s based on, is set to premiere this Christmas on HBO and the time is quickly approaching.
You know the story by now. In his humble British home, Harry Potter is just a picked-on nobody with a weird forehead scar. But in reality, he’s a powerful wizard destined to save the world from a mad tyrant with no nose. He just needs lots of training first, so a giant drags him away to Hogwarts where he spend the next seven years prepping for a showdown with Volde–whoops, almost said it.
25 years ago Harry Potter was controversial, but only among specific religious sects who mistook its fantasy for devil worship (as they had a tendency to do). Several decades later, the shoe is on the other foot as the series is now shunned among liberal circles, due to its creator being a hardcore TERF who won’t stop yapping about how having trans people exist is a threat to women, or something. No transphobic material occurs in Harry Potter itself, but the series is going to be forever tainted with this, well after she’s dead.
Even with the controversy, Harry Potter is still one of the most valuable things Warner Bros owns, and they’re sparing no expense with both the sets and the gigantic cast. Dominic McLaughlin stars as the Boy Who Lived himself, alongside Arabella Stanton as Hermione Granger, Alastair Stout as Ron Weasley, John Lithgow as Albus Dumbledore, Janet McTeer as Minerva McGonagall, Paapa Essiedu as Severus Snape, Nick Frost as Rubeus Hagrid, Rory Wilmot as Neville Longbottom, Lox Pratt as Draco Malfoy, Leo Earley as Seamus Finnigan, Elijah Oshin as Dean Thomas, Tristan Harland as Fred Weasley, Gabriel Harland as George Weasley, Ruari Spooner as Percy Weasley, Alessia Leoni as Parvati Patil, Sienna Moosah as Lavender Brown, Finn Stephens as Vincent Crabbe, William Nash as Gregory Goyle, Warwick Davis as Filius Flitwick, and Sirine Saba as Pomona Sprout.
No, wait, I’m not done. There’s also Daniel Rigby as Vernon Dursley, Bel Powley as Petunia Dursley, Paul Whitehouse as Argus Filch, Johnny Flynn as Lucius Malfoy, Bertie Carvel as Cornelius Fudge, Luke Thallon as Quirinus Quirrell, Katherine Parkinson as Molly Weasley, Amos Kitson as Dudley Dursley, Gracie Cochrane as Ginny Weasley, Richard Durden as Cuthbert Binns, Louise Brealey as Rolanda Hooch, Bríd Brennan as Poppy Pomfrey, Leigh Gill as Griphook, and Anton Lesser as Garrick Ollivander.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone premieres its first episode on HBO and HBO Max Christmas Day.




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