We figure that from this point forward, the reactions to Nintendo’s Switch Online game announcements will be less like “woohoo, that classic game is finally here!” and more like “uhhhh….what the heck is that?” Case in point: the three that were revealed today.
Nothing is being added to the NES library, but on the SNES there’s Jelly Boy, Claymates, and Kablooey. Kablooey (called here by its Japanese name Bombuzal) is the standout of this bunch, an isometric puzzler where you play as a blue thing that must set off each bomb in 130 levels. Claymates is a spinoff of the Clay Fighter games where you jump on platforms and can morph your clay body into various animals to clear obstacles.
Jelly Boy is what it sounds like, another platformer that casts you as a humanoid blob of jelly. The blob has a retractable third arm that pops out of your belly to attack enemies. The cover depicts Jelly Boy doing this, and it looks exactly as phallic as you’re assuming (small wonder this game didn’t get released in the US). Neither Jelly Boy nor Claymates are very good, and oddly, this month has a theme of platformers starring blobs that turn into things.
If it’s any consolation, Nintendo Switch Online members ALSO get one free week of Among Us as well as a discount on the price of the game. Odds are, though, you have it already — and a 30% discount of a five dollar game isn’t a huge one. But hey, maybe EarthBound will finally arrive next month or something, so hang in there.