Royal Sentai Angloman

martin angelo said:

What will be the robo combination name, gattai (union/fusion) jack or jack up?

Click to expand...

Thanks for the sincere and well-spoken response. :redface2:

To tell the truth I'm not even thinking about the robot right now. I'm focused on the characters at this point.

don't mind him Scotty he's... just there

Scotty Rave said:

To tell the truth I'm not even thinking about the robot right now. I'm focused on the characters at this point.

Click to expand...

And you should be. Cool mecha is good but it can't carry a sentai if the characters aren't that good. Look at Abaranger.

I know some of you won't get the joke with the Sarge's odd way of speaking. You'll get it if you look up this real old comedy called It Ain't Half Hot Mum and look for the character of Battery Sergeant Major Tudor Brynne 'Shut Up' Williams, played by Windsor Davies. As a fond parody of this character, the Sarge is similar in concept to the character of Sergeant Blob from The Dreamstone. Look 'em up for more details.


“…As we speak, four of the five Anglomen are entering Buckingham Palace. The fifth member’s location is unknown, and their representatives have refused to tell the press…â€


“The princess should be h’in the throne room with those punks,†said the leading intruder in a gruff army-man voice, pointing down at the roof below them. “It’ll be simple. We’ll be just like the H’S.A.S. Swing down on the grapple, smash through the h’windows, grab her and kill anyone who tries to stop us.â€

“Remind me why we’re doing this again, Sarge?†asked one of his men.

“H’we does what the Boss pays us to do, Mr. Lah-de-Dah,†the Sarge retorted, “now shut ya cakehole and get ready. Lookout, are they h’inside yet?â€

“They’re going in now, Sarge!â€

“Perfect!â€


Scott sat in the corner of his cell within the troop transport ship. It was a simple set-up, the usual prison cell with a heavy door at the front. His A-Brace had been taken by Deltra as a trophy, so he couldn’t transform and break out as easily as he would have liked. An Apostle stood guard. It peered into the room and banged its club on the door.

“Oi! Wanker!â€

Scott did not reply. The Apostle grunted indignantly and turned away. Scott looked at his palm, and saw the gentle red glow emanating from his palm. He smiled. It looked like his plan was going to work after all.


Rowan, Beth and Ivy looked about the room in awe, while Alan merely showed mild interest. This was the room where men had knelt and knights had risen, blessed by sword and spoken words. Servants had prepared the room with two huge banners just for them. One read ‘THANK YOU ANGLOMEN’ while the other bared an image of five colour-coded figures holding medieval swords and shields. Ivy looked up at the second one, tilted her head and muttered, “Is my bum really that big?â€

“I’m so glad you four could make it,†said Princess Angeline, “it’s just a pity your leader couldn’t join us.â€

“Whoa, whoa, Your Highness,†Beth interrupted, “No disrespect, but Sc…I mean, Red, is not our leader. We don’t really have a leader. You know what I mean?â€

“I think so,†Angeline shrugged it off. “Doesn’t matter, it’s a party so…wine anybody?â€

“I’ll be ‘avin’ that!†someone shouted.

“What the hell was that?†asked Beth.

“Sounded like Windsor Davies,†replied Rowan. A window up above shattered as a gang of no less than twelve men in dark hoodies burst in and swung down on a grappling hook. The first one, the biggest, ripped off his disguise to reveal a black Apostle with red accents on his arms and legs and a series of medals on the left side of his chest. The others unveiled themselves as standard green soldiers. Their leader, known among the troops as the Sarge, pulled a long sabre from a hidden place beneath his cloak and swung it down, “Have at ‘em!â€

“Oh for pity’s sake,†Beth growled, “can’t we get a moment’s peace?â€

She turned to Rowan and Ivy. “You two get the princess out of here. Me and Alan will deal with this lot.â€

“Who made you leader?†Rowan taunted.

“This isn’t the time to argue, man,†Beth took up a boxing stance as the Apostles swarmed towards them. She landed a right hook on the face of one, and a straight left into the chest of another.

“Let’s go, Your Highness,†said Ivy with a hint of apology, as she and Rowan took the princess by the hands and made a run for it.

“After them you h’idiots! They is getting h’away!†the Sarge yelled, swinging his sabre at Alan. The boy and girl stood back-to-back and raised their A-Braces.

“Anglo Black, transform!â€
“Anglo Yellow, transform!â€

As the flash of Athzeron radiation disappeared, Black summoned his war-hammer, Caradoc, and smashed an Apostle into mush. The Sarge struck at Yellow, who defended with her shield, Tristan. A few royal guards entered the fight, which made the situation a little more even. Black picked up an Apostle and threw it into the Sarge, who stumbled aside in an attempt to regain his balance.


Rowan and Ivy pounded down a corridor with Angeline in tow.

“There’s a secret passageway at the end of the hall,†said the princess, “it’s activated by pulling the candlestick on the wall. It’ll take us to a private train station about ten miles below us.â€

“Thanks for the info, princess,†said a voice as six Apostles appeared from round the corner, led by Deltra and a new figure – a pale-skinned woman with pink hair in a French braid and red eyes.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,†Rowan groaned. “Your Highness, we’ll keep them away while you make it to the train. Understand?â€

“I do,†replied Angeline.

“Get them!†Deltra ordered. The six Apostles charged forward.

“Anglo Blue, transform!â€
“Anglo Pink, transform!â€

Anglo Blue ducked an Apostle’s punch and retaliated by dealing a vicious uppercut. The Apostle was thrown back through the air but before it could hit the ground, Blue followed up with a dropkick. The Apostle crashed to the floor, staining the carpet with its purple blood. Blue summoned his battle-axe, Algovale, and split the alien warrior perfectly down the middle.

“I reckon this is just like slicing melons,†he chuckled, “but much messier.â€

“Mayhap it is, Blue,†said Pink, “but let’s skip the snappy banter and stay focused, okay?â€

“Whatever you say,†Blue held out Algovale and pressed a panel on the pole. The end of the weapon holding the blades shot off on a chain and wrapped tightly around a second Apostle. Blue pulled as hard as he could. The Apostle flew screeching, face-first, into the chest of a third one, flooring them both.

Pink slapped a fourth Apostle away, giving her enough time to summon her wrist-mounted crossbow, Bedivere. She squeezed the trigger, and felt the tiller vibrate, and then the catch, and then the stave, all within the space of less than a second, before a pink bolt materialised from nowhere and flew out, striking the Apostle in the heart.

I don’t even need to load it, Pink thought gleefully, I love this thing!

A fifth one threw itself at her from behind, but Blue cleanly sliced off one of its feet. The Apostle fell, and unintentionally, in its attempt to find a support, gave Pink’s lovely, round posterior a good grope. Trapped somewhere between embarrassment and agony, the last thing the Apostle thought was, hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn, as she proceeded to pound it into mush. At this point, Deltra finally condescended to join the battle, squaring off with Blue as Pink, still fuelled by humiliated anger, filled the last Apostle with enough bolts to make it resemble an odd, green-and-pink hedgehog.

Blue deflected Deltra’s scythe with Algovale and then kicked her squarely in the gut. Deltra fell on her rump, winded, and raised her arm as her wrist-blaster powered up. Realisation dawned on Pink and she looked around the hallway as the Apostles melted into purple gunk.

“…Where’s that other woman gone?â€


Angeline stepped out of the lift and descended the flight of stairs to the secret platform. A dark bullet train with ‘SUB-CAMELOT EXPRESS’ printed on its side in gold stood waiting for her. This train would take her straight to the safety of the under-lab itself, if she could get to it of course, but sadly, that was not to be. Just when she mere inches from the train, a thick, pink rope came down from above and wrapped tightly around her, pinning her arms to her sides. Angeline looked up, andthe colour drained from her face. The pink-haired woman was standing on top of the Sub-Camelot Express, grinning viciously, and the rope was in fact her hair, which had become an un-braided mass of writhing, living tendrils.

“You’re coming with me, princess,†said the woman. In her hand, she held a grey device with a black screen and a single white button on it. She pressed down, and as the world began to melt away around them, Angeline felt herself throw up.

When they took the black bag off of Angeline’s head, she was immediately shoved into what was obviously a prison cell. There were two bunks attached to the wall, a single, barred window, a sink in one corner and a toilet in the other. A blonde man sat on the lower bunk, his eyes closed and his fists clasped together in his lap. Her voice shaking, she called out to him, but received no answer. The cell was pristine, but between the small size and her silent companion, it was maddening. She walked up to the door and slid open the cover of the hatch.

“Hello?†she asked.

“Shut it,†one of her green captors sneered. “Sit on yer arse an’ be’ave yerself.â€

“Oi! You green freaks!†Angeline shouted. “Don’t you know who I am?!â€

“Yeah, now shaddap,†the green creature reached through and shoved her backwards before closing the hatch. Angeline landed beside the blonde man with an indignant grunt. Her formerly white gown was smudged and stained with dirt and leaves, and her hair was now a multi-coloured tangle. She looked like a barbarian.

“This is disgusting,†she groaned, “what a way to treat royalty.â€

“Princess, it’s because you’re royalty that you’re here in the first place,†the blonde man told her. “Now, please, be quiet so I can concentrate.â€

“So you do speak,†Angeline noted. “Concentrate on what? You’re just wringing your hands!â€

“You’ll see, trust me,†the blonde man told her.


Deltra adjusted the lapels of her black suit. She and her new assistant were out in the grasslands of Wanstead Flats. They weren’t human, so they didn’t feel the biting breeze against them. The pink-haired woman snatched a dragonfly in mid-flight and swallowed it whole. Deltra crinkled her nose in repulsion, “You’re disgusting.â€

“Sorry, I skipped breakfast,†the woman replied sheepishly.

“Oh, never mind all that,†Deltra sighed, “we have bigger fish to fry. We have the princess and the Anglomen’s leader, now we just have to deliver the ransom message to those punks in the Sovereign Caleigo.â€

“Just what is this ‘Caleigo’ thing anyway?†the woman asked.

“I dunno,†Deltra shrugged, “some kinda…government thing, that’s all I know. I don’t get into politics too much, way too confusing.â€

“Amen,†the woman nodded.


Rowan pounded angrily on the wall of the Anglobase as the others looked on with worry.

“This is so unfair!†he was shouting. “Those slimy alien bastards took her right out from under our noses! They got Scott, and now they got Princess Angeline! This is ridiculous!†He twirled around to face the others. “Some heroes we turned out to be, eh?! We’re just a monumental joke! Our first fight, one of our own gets bloody toasted-like, and then he goes missing and so does the poxy princess!â€

Grant Caster turned in a chair near the top of the room’s pyramid structure.

“You expected to walk in and do a perfect job?†he asked dryly. “This isn’t a comic book, you know. Everyone screws it up the first time round. Rather than lose your temper, why don’t we just work on a contingency plan?â€

“Contingency plan…contingency plan…†Rowan repeated. “Yeah, contingency. You know an even better idea? Work out where those alien WANKERS are keepin’ my best friend, barge on in, kill the lot of ‘em an’ blow the remains to hell!â€

“I didn’t realise we were the S.A.S.,†Beth put in with a sneer. “We ‘barge on in’ as you so put it, and about a hundred bloody aliens swarm over us and tear us to pieces! We had enough trouble dealing with an Apostle in black!â€

“It’s true,†Alan nodded. “Tough one, that.â€

The doors of the room slid open with a metal ‘whoosh’ and the android Belle stepped inside.

“Where have you been?†asked Caster.

“With Brigadier G,†Belle explained, “he wanted to know if the A.D.M. was ready.â€

“Almost,†said Caster, “but there’s still a lot of kinks to work out.â€

“He wants it active within the day,†said Belle.

“What’s the A.D.M.?†asked Ivy.

“Athzeron Detection Monitor,†Caster explained. “A digitized map of the globe that connects to an orbiting satellite via laser-link. When it’s finished, we’ll be able to track down Scott’s Athzeron signature anywhere on Earth.â€

“Why didn’t you tell us about this, Professor?†asked Beth.

“I wanted to wait until it was finished. Belle, let Brigadier G know that my department are working as fast as they can. If he wants it within the day we still have another few hours of non-stop work to go. Team, I’ll need to concentrate, so please leave me to my work.â€

The Anglomen looked at each other, then left through the door, one-by-one.


The blonde man got to his feet and held out his hand. His veins glowed red as light radiated from his body. His palm had become a disc of red, with heat pouring off it. Angeline hugged herself, not quite sure what to make of it. The blonde man pressed his hand against the door and like a highly corrosive acid, began to burn a hole in the metal.

“Oi!†the guard outside called. “Whassat ‘issin’ noise? What you up to?!â€

The blonde man pulled his hand back from the melting spot, clenched it into a fist, and punched right through. He grabbed the guard’s domed helmet and dragged it through the hole, then punched it with so much force that the dome crumpled and purple juice sprayed everywhere. Angeline swallowed back her disgust long enough to ask, “…Are you one of the Anglomen?â€

“Scott David Harris, at your service, Your Highness,†the blonde man smirked. “Now come on, let’s get out of here. Deltra has my A-Brace so I can’t transform.â€

“What about whatever you just did?â€

“I have no idea if I can do it again. Until today, I didn’t even know I could do it in the first place.â€

“What gave you the idea to try?â€

“Desperation.â€

Rummaging in the dead guard’s coat, Scott retrieved a gun and the key to the cell and released himself and the princess. The corridor outside was lit by glowing fluorescent lines in the ceiling. There were about six more cells on either side of theirs, and the only way to go was on the far right, where the corridor curved away. The other way was a dead end.

“Do you have any idea where we’re going?†asked Angeline.

“No,†replied Scott, “but have faith.â€

They had turned many corridors, unsure if they were heading further out or deeper into the prison. Scott was in front, the glow in his veins subsiding but his hands were still lit, and Angeline was behind him, holding a gun taken from the dead guard. Not that she had ever wielded a firearm but it offered her some sense of security nonetheless. Hearing the sound of footsteps and talking, Scott pulled the princess into an alcove in the wall, one hand around her waist and (unconsciously), the other on her breast. Angeline squeaked in protest, and he moved the second hand up to cover her mouth. He whispered in her ear to be quiet or they would be found, and she reluctantly obeyed.


Romulus Van Morrison had been taking a stroll across Wanstead Flats when he saw the two alien women approaching an awaiting transport. He guessed it to be some kind of car, although it resembled a camo-coloured egg with three wheels on either side. He lifted his mobile phone and dialled Grant Caster’s number. After three rings, he was answered.

“There are aliens at WansteaFlats,†he reported. “Two of them in sight, probably more. Looks like they’re heading somewhere on land. Send the Anglomen.â€

He hung up and ducked behind a tree, reached into his dark gold sports jacket and fished out a metal rod. It was not long before he could see the black Rolls Royce Phantom pull up outside the distant gates, and four figures disembarked. The four paused, then the one in the lead pointed in the direction of the women, who were now climbing into the open side of the egg-car, and then they started running.

Deltra was already in the passenger seat of the egg-car when the pink-haired woman noticed something coming towards them.

“I don’t like the looks of that,†she said.

“What are you talking about?†asked Deltra, looking out of the window. Her brow creased as four figures appeared in the distance.

“Alert the Apostles,†she ordered, “and then get in the car. We still have a mission to carry out.â€

The pink-haired woman reached into the car and retrieved a radio from the dashboard. She spoke into it thus: “All Apostles in the vicinity on full alert. There are four possible hostiles approaching. Show them no mercy.â€


Romulus stood up to greet the four youths, holding the metal rod against his leg. Alan, Rowan, Ivy and Beth gathered around him with a mix of stern faces and expectant eyes.

“Sir, what’s going on?†asked Alan.

“Your timing’s impeccable,†Romulus sighed in relief. “One of the aliens from before is with an accomplice just over there.†He pointed the rod in the direction of the egg-car. One of the two figures was talking into what looked like a car radio.

“You know what she’s up to,†said Beth.

“Reinforcements,†replied Ivy.

“Then how about we transform?†asked Rowan.

“You’re well smart,†said Beth sarcastically, raising her A-Brace.

“We still have to find Scott,†Alan reminded them.

“We’ll get the answer from them,†said Ivy.

They watched as a squad of Apostles began to emerge from one of the two white domes at either side of the area. At their head was the black-and-red one from before, the Sarge. Beth put two fingers to her brace and asked, “Ready?â€

“Ready,†the other three said together.

“TRANSFORM!â€


The Sarge took his orders from Deltra, and turned to his men, resting a sword across his shoulder.

“Right, you ‘orrible shower!†he boomed. “The h’enemy is h’approach-iating. Several of you lovely boys will most likely never see the light of day again, but your h’identification numbers will be remembered in the Darkshot data tracks. H’any questions?â€

“I have one, Sarge,†piped up one Apostle.

“Ah, Mr. Lah-de-Dah, h’why am I not surprised?†the Sarge sneered. “What, pray tell, is your question then?â€

“Can I be excused from this one?†asked the Apostle. “I have piano practise.â€

“You is a poof, boy!†the Sarge promptly smacked him across the dome. “You will ‘ave plenty of time for practise when this fight is h’over! CHARGE!!!â€

“Forward! Knights of the empire!†Yellow cried out. “Royal Squadron…â€

“ANGLOMAN!†the other three chorused.

As the four warriors clashed with the alien soldiers, Romulus launched himself into the air and brought his booted feet down against the windscreen of the egg-car, shattering it. Inside, he and the astonished Deltra wrestled for a few moments before they both toppled out onto the grass. Romulus rolled off of her and got to his feet, holding the metal rod tightly in one hand.

“You Earth scum are crawling out of the woodwork!†Deltra spat.

“You’re a mouthy little cow, aren’t you?†Romulus taunted her. “I’ll be happy to put you in your place.â€

“Don’t get lemon with me, old man,†Deltra turned to the pink-haired woman. “Ropethorn! Get busy and kill the brats while I sort out the old git!â€

“My pleasure…†the pink-haired woman said. She clapped her hands once, and her body disintegrated in a flash, and then reformed with a much different appearance. She was now composed of thick, beige ropes, with long, tasselled ends dangling from her wrists. Instead of hair, white ropes hung like albino dreadlocks, and a knot was present where her navel ought to have been. Ropethorn threw her hand out, and a noose fired from her palm, looped itself around Pink’s neck. The short girl cried out as Ropethorn tossed her into the air, and Blue winced when he heard the thud of his friend’s body hitting a thick tree.


As the Apostles inside the prison closed in, Scott sliced his hand through the air, creating a crescent of fire that sliced its way through the lines of aliens. Angeline had her back pressed against his as she fired from a stolen Apostle gun. The blasts were becoming paler in colour and were not firing nearly as far as they had been before.

“I don’t know how much longer we can keep this up,†said the princess. “I think the gun’s running out of power.â€

“We have to hold out as long as we can,†Scott told her, “but I’ll try and clear a path for us. Keep them back so I can concentrate on creating a big enough attack.â€

“Y…Yeah,†she nodded, voice shaking. Even if just for a few seconds, she was on her own. Princess Angeline Goddard had never been to a firing range, had never taken a self-defence class, had never even held a weapon until today, but she promised that when this was over, she would make sure she would never be kidnapped again. The concept was too embarrassing. Too fairy tale. One Apostle tried to decapitate her blonde friend with a sword, but with a point-blanc blast from the gun, she opened a gaping hole in the alien’s head. Scott’s eyes flew open, the grey irises now orange. He clapped his hands together, and a serpentine trail of white heat spiralled from his fingertips, parting the Apostles like the Red Sea. He grabbed Angeline in a hand that was still too hot, not that he realised it, and ran for his life.


Blue struck at Ropethorn with his Algovale axe, severing the noose from her hand. Pink, fell into the grass and gasped for air, realising now that her helmet was stifling. The vents hidden inside kicked into overdrive to provide not only oxygen, but a cooling breeze across her face.

“Why don’t you die you alien slag?!†Blue cursed as he slashed Ropethorn across the stomach.

“Get away from me, farm-boy!†Ropethorn shoved him back and then roundhouse-kicked him across the face. Blue twirled in mid-air and rolled along the ground.

Yellow blocked an Apostle’s attack with her shield, Tristan, and then batted the warrior away, at the same time ramming her fist into the face of another. She had seen Blue and Pink’s plight and was trying to make her way towards them.

“I’m coming!†she called to them reassuringly. She smashed the edge of her shield into the dome of the soldier coming right at her, leaving a sickening, mouth-like dent as purple blood oozed from beneath. The soldier fell to the ground, and Yellow trod on its head as she moved towards the battle. Ropethorn whipped at her with two long tendrils, but Tristan kept her well-defended.

“Drop the shield and fight like a man!†the alien sneered.

“Don’t insult me,†Yellow shot back. She dismissed Tristan in a crackle of electricity, and then charged forward, disappearing in a sparkle of white and yellow flecks, then reappeared just inches from Ropethorn, delivering a powerful uppercut that knocked the alien off of her feet and flying back through the air.

“I’ll fight you like a woman!â€

Black and the Sarge clashed weapons, trying to force each other into the opening of a wide pond.

“Ah…you is getting’ to be a right royal pain in me backside, boy,†the dark Apostle growled, pushing his sword harder against the war hammer. “It’s about time I cut ya down to size, don’t you think?â€

“Get stuffed,†Black said quietly. He jumped back, landed with his legs bent, and propelled himself into the air. As he flipped over the Sarge, he let Caradoc strike the alien’s dome, dazing him. As he landed, Black swung around and Caradoc met the Sarge’s side, launching him into the pond.

Romulus knocked Deltra’s scythe away, and the long blade embedded itself deep into the bark of a tree.

“Normally I don’t hit women,†he jeered, “but since you’re alien, I can’t really confirm that’s what you are.â€

“I’m all woman, old man,†Deltra growled. She threw herself at him, screaming like a banshee. Romulus spun around and stretched his leg out, hitting Deltra in the face. As she flew backwards, something dropped out of her clothing. Romulus reached down and picked up a fallen red A-Brace. Scott’s A-Brace.

He’s around here, he thought. He approached the fallen Deltra and picked her up by the arm.

“WHERE’S THE OWNER OF THIS A-BRACE?!†he barked.

As if in reply, several Apostles ran panicking out of the Darkshot troop transport, their bodies caught in a blaze. All eyes fell on the ship as Scott emerged, carrying Angeline over his shoulder. She was unconscious, but alive, and they both looked beaten. No doubt they had gone through quite an ordeal inside. Romulus threw Deltra back onto the ground and appd his student.

“Good to see you’re alive,†he said, “I’ll take the princess. Is she all right?â€

“She fainted from the heat,†replied Scott. “Is that my A-Brace?â€

“Indeed.â€

The two quickly swapped cargo. Scott strapped on the A-Brace, and the two men gave each other a salute, and Romulus swiftly left with the girl. Scott turned his attention to his four team-mates, locked in combat with Ropethorn. Pressing two fingers to the red ‘A’, he called out, “Anglo Red, transform!â€

“Anglo Red, transform!â€

Deltra wiped the blood from her mouth and looked at it staining her glove. This was getting to be far too dangerous. Ropethorn could handle herself. If she couldn’t, well, tough luck.

“I’ll get you back for this!†she screamed as she fled towards the awaiting troop transport. Red watched the ship depart, knowing it would be futile to attempt to follow her. With that, he summoned his sword, Arthur, in a blaze of fire, and charged into the battle.


The doors of the Anglobase opened, and Brigadier G entered. Caster and Belle immediately stood to attention.

“At ease,†the chief of A5 said, “I bring good news. Anglo Red was located and has joined the battle with the other Anglomen.â€

“Do you want me to cease work on the A.D.M.?†asked Caster.

“Put it on the backburner for now,†nodded Brigadier G, “but I’m not here for that. I thought you’d like to know that the X-Dragon is almost complete in Lab 6.â€

“It is?†Caster breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear, sir.â€

“I’ll have them bring it here so it can be prepped for teleportation,†said Brigadier G. “Belle, give me a status report on the progress of the London Express.â€

“We’ve been having difficulties, like the reports from Lab 10 say,†replied the gynoid. “For something its size, it’s been hard to create an efficient power source. We may need to tap into a heavy supply of highly concentrated Athzeron. A different strain to the radiation that the Anglomen use. It could be costly to mine enough of it.â€

“We already have unlimited credit,†said Brigadier G, “so use as much as you need. Oh, by the way, Caster, Helen got out of the hospital today and sends her blessings.â€

“Oh my…!†Caster put his hand to his forehead. “…That’s wonderful, sir!â€

“Thought that might lift your mood,†Brigadier G chuckled, “carry on.â€

He stepped back through the doors of the room and vanished. Belle looked over at Caster and said in a whisper, “Mum’s okay.†She had only spoken to Helen Caster once, and even though she was a gynoid, a being of circuits and wires, the woman had taken to her immediately. It was shortly after that when Helen fell into a coma for unknown reasons. Now she was okay. Belle was happy again.


Ropethorn lashed out with another whip, but Red deflected it with Arthur.

“Great to see you back in the game,†Blue called out, slashing the monster’s back.

“Every time I get out, I get pulled right back in,†replied Red.

“How’s the princess?†asked Pink, firing three arrows into Ropethorn’s side.

“She’s fine, Romulus has her,†Red told her. “Seems Deltra got away.â€

“The Sarge too,†added Black. “He vanished after I beat him earlier.â€

“That means the hangwoman here is all on her own,†Yellow smirked.

“Hanging…†Ropethorn grunted. “…Thanks for the suggestion.â€

Five nooses flew out of her back, arced over an overhanging tree branch and looped around the Anglomen’s necks, dragging them roughly into the air. As they struggled there, Ropethorn created another thick whip, this once laced with knots, and began swinging it to-and-fro, smacking the heroes. Their suits protected them from harm, but not from the pain.

Blue grunted and raised Algovale in one hand, using the other to stop himself from falling and becoming the victim of the noose, and slashed as hard as he could. The rope broke and he toppled to the ground, landing on his rear end in the grass. Now raising the axe in both hands, he pressed a switch on the handle and the top half shot off, slicing apart the other four ropes and freeing his team-mates.

“You jammy little…!†Ropethorn retracted the remains into her body as the Anglomen regrouped.

“There has to be a way to stop her,†said Pink, “a weakness.â€

“What about that knot on her stomach?†suggested Black. “It could be what’s holding her together. If it doesn’t kill her, it might at least make her weaker.â€

“Okay, then we go for the knot,†Red agreed. “We need to keep her busy so one of us can get in close.â€

“Let me be the one to do it,†said Blue.

“You sure, Rowan?â€

“Trust me on this.â€

“All right, let’s go.â€

The five spread out with Blue in the middle, and they charged Ropethorn. Yellow crashed into her with Tristan, knocking her back into range of Black, who hit her with Caradoc with enough force to toss her into the air, where Pink laced her with arrows from Bedivere, before Red skewered her with Arthur through the left side of her chest. Red kicked her away, and she staggered, dazed and in pain. Blue rushed in and brought Algovale down on the knot, slicing it cleanly off. The ropes began to loosen, and she recoiled from the heroes. Brown, reptilian skin could be seen underneath, although her head was still obscured by her mask. Ropethorn breathed heavily as the five heroes raised their weapons defensively.

“I…have…had it…with you filthy humans!†Ropethorn screamed. “The kid gloves are off!â€

Standing up, hunched over, Ropethorn’s armour dangled off her scaly body as dozens of long tendrils. Long fangs jutted from gaps in her mask, and four black spikes grew out of her back. Without the armour, her true form was released. The tendrils rose up and writhed around her like thick, beige serpents, ready to strangle anyone who came into their grasp. They flew outward fast, tossing the Anglomen backwards. Red’s communicator beeped urgently. He flicked open his belt buckle, removed the phone-like device and put it to the side of his helmet.

“Scott, this is Professor Caster,†said the voice on the other end, “we’ve just completed work on a new weapon, the X-Dragon. Regroup and call on it. It’ll finish off Ropethorn for good.â€

“Got it. Out,†Red replaced the communicator and called out to his team-mates to get out of the monster’s range. When they were together, Blue asked, “What was that about?â€

“It’s a new weapon,†explained Red, “I guess it’s a trump card of some sort.â€

“Well let’s use it then!†exclaimed Yellow. “Hurry up and summon it!â€

Red raised one hand into the air, fingers spread, and rested the other one on his the side of his waist. He wasn’t sure why he did that, but it felt like the right position for summoning a special weapon. It took him a moment to remember the name of it, but he called out, “X-Dragon!â€

Information flashed across their visors and downloaded into their brains as something flew towards them from out of the sky. It was almost completely green, with two dark yellow wings, four clawed, green feet and a green tail with two dark yellow spikes poking out of the end in opposite directions. The robotic dragon’s head was decorated by two dark yellow horns and glowing, pale blue eyes. As the dragon descended, its body began to shift into a different shape. Its wings disconnected and reunited to form an armoured vest that landed over Red’s shoulders, moulding itself like liquid to his body shape. The dragon’s legs folded up underneath it as four black grips, like motorcycle handlebars, extended. The tail split down the middle and folded upwards so the two pieces were parallel to its body. Two joysticks with red buttons on top flipped out of the space left by the tail. Blue, Black, Yellow and Pink caught the weapon by the four handlebars as Red took hold of the joysticks.

“Dragon Blaster!â€

The Anglomen’s gloved hands glowed in their respective colours as the dragon opened its mouth, its eyes shining brighter than before.

“Dragonfire Beam!†Red pressed down on the joysticks and the golden spikes on the two parts of the tail glowed with rainbow energy, which shot out as twin streams. These beams met with Ropethorn’s body, and in an instant she was paralysed. Red twisted the joysticks towards each other, and then pushed them back into the cavity they sprang from. The dragon’s mouth opened and a ball of molten metal rocketed from between its jaws. It met Ropethorn’s body, and with a last defiant scream, she was obliterated. As the smoke of the explosion cleared, the Anglomen breathed a united sigh of relief.


Deltra and the Sarge cowered before Elias Blackthorn on the bridge of the Sun Shadow. Manitov was at Blackthorn’s side, of course, rubbing his hands gleefully. Blackthorn was contemplating the situation, mulling it over in his head. He asked questions, and the two enforcers spoke in a united, quivering voice.

“The plan was disrupted before it even went into the next phase?â€

“Yes, Boss Blackthorn.â€

“You lost two incredibly valuable prisoners due to a gross oversight?â€

“Yes, Boss Blackthorn.â€

“You also abandoned one of our enforcers, raked up 400 starons in damage, and in general just completely mucked it up.â€

“Yes, Boss Blackthorn.â€

“GET OUT OF MY SIGHT OR I’LL THROW YOU INTO THE SUN!†Blackthorn roared, as purple lightning shot out of his eyes. Deltra and the Sarge ran screaming from the room, and Manitov had to cover his mouth to stifle his laughter. Blackthorn breathed heavily and turned his attention to his right-hand alien.

“Next time,†he said, “we’ll use the Exxy, and not give the humans a fighting chance. I’ll see them all dead! So mangled their own mothers wouldn’t recognise their corpses! They’ll regret the day they crossed paths with the Devil Doctor!â€


Princess Angeline looked down at her bandaged arm. She had been returned to the palace immediately and her father had made her stay in her bedroom in order to recover. She wanted to be angry, but she couldn’t. That blonde man had grabbed her so roughly by the arm, and his hands had not yet cooled from that fire attack he had used. She now had third degree burns all over her forearm, and the doctors had told her that without a skin-graft, she would never be the same. Oh, how she wanted to hate him and curse his name for making her ugly, but the bitter feelings refused to come, because there was one fact overshadowing them all: he had saved her life. Now she wanted to be in love with him, but that wasn’t really coming either. She felt a connection, that was all, because this was a man she would never forget.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been in Piccadilly Circus.â€

With the business of the Darkshot temporarily dealt with, Scott and Rowan had decided to catch up on old times, and they had both agreed to visit one of London’s most popular attractions. They spent about an hour in Sega World before heading to a local branch of Harry Ramsden’s for lunch.

“I’ve been back in the city for almost two months,†said Rowan after swallowing a mouthful of battered cod, “and we haven’t caught up until just now.â€

“Yeah, well, we’ve been busy after all,†Scott reminded him, “what with the Darkshot and all.â€

“Don’t say it out loud!†Rowan whisper-hissed. “You’ll blow our cover!â€

“Okay, okay,†Scott raised his hands in defence. “Just calm down, mate.â€

“I’m calm…†Rowan looked up at the ceiling. “…Been a while since I was in a Harry Ramsden’s too.â€

“Don’t have ‘em up in Yorkshire?â€

“I never saw any…so what have you been up to, then?â€

“University, I’m on a film course, and I’m trying to get a spot on the local radio station.â€

“Wow, that sounds really exciting. What kind of spot?â€

“I was thinking a twice weekly radio series, I still have some work to do on it.â€

“Let me help out!â€

“Rowan, can you act?â€

“Of course I can!†the country-boy immediately adopted a thick, New York accent, “I coulda been a contender, Charlie!â€


The flat was dark, silent apart from the gentle hum of the ceiling fan as it whirled in place. A young man lay sprawled across his bed. The posters lining the walls all looked asleep. The radio was off. The TV was off. Staring up towards the fan, the man thought about his situation as purple, ethereal sparks lightly skipped on his skin. Last night, he caught the woman he once called his girlfriend kissing another man, and it hurt because that man was his own cousin. So he had dismissed them both from his life, saying he never wanted to see either of them again. He meant it as well. He didn’t need people who would go around behind his back like that. He wished they would all just drop dead. He had also become unemployed recently, after assaulting his supervisor. That was just after the purple light appeared, and then disappeared, leaving no effects, unless he was angry, because these sparks always came out of his skin and made him feel stronger. He liked to think he was the sort of person people could get along with, even if he was an ‘emo kid.’ His name was Craig Baxter Merridew, and he was almost twenty years old.

They should all just drop dead.

Now there was an idea. He could make them just drop dead. What a delicious little image in his head. He didn’t know what the sparks meant, but he knew they had given him powers of some sort. He could use those powers to permanently put an end to everyone who ever hurt him. Starting with Gemma James and her new beau, Darren Drake.

“Yeah…I can actually do something,†he said to himself.


Rowan looked at the salt pot in his hand thoughtfully, and said in a wry way, “Check this out. Remember when we were younger and we used to play that really stupid game just so we could freak out all the posh girls?â€

It only took moments for Scott to realise what was going through his friend’s mind. He nodded, and watched as Rowan poured out a long line of salt across the table. It was more than they’d ever done, and Scott started shaking his head and muttering, “No, no, no, no, mate, you’re mad, you’ll give yourself a cardiac arrest. That and you’ll never get the taste out of your mouth.â€

Rowan slid the straw from his drink, tapped it off on the edge of the glass, put one end in his mouth and the other against the table. Scott covered his face and laughed in disbelief as Rowan sucked the salt up in mere seconds, then took a long swig of his drink to wash it down.

“Jesus, living in the country’s turned you barmy!â€

“Winner an’ still champion: King Bates!â€

“Master Bates,†Scott replied in immature humour, and they giggled like drunks. They were interrupted, however, by a scream from outside. Everybody in the shop turned to see. Through the thick, glass window, they could all watch the strange events outside occurring like a widescreen sci-fi movie. There was a boy, some emo-kid, with a bright, purple aura emanating from every pore on his pale-skinned body. He was holding a struggling Burberry-wearing chav in the air by the neck, and had his free hand wrapped around the wrist of an emo-girl. The girl was the one doing the screaming, of course. Scott and Rowan ducked down and talked in whispers.

“Get the feeling we’ve started a superpower trend?†asked Rowan.

“All too well,†replied Scott. “We can’t use our powers like this, or people will know who we are, and we have that whole ‘secret identity’ policy.â€

“Yeah, I know, I’m the one who started it.â€

“So let’s get behind the shop and transform.â€

“Righty-dokey.â€


Craig grinned like a savage as he channelled painful electric currents into the scumbags who betrayed him. On his right was Darren, on his left was Gemma. She was kicking him in the stomach over and over again, trying to break free, but every moment they touched sent another surge through her body.

“Craig…please…†Darren choked out. “…We didn’t want to hurt ya…â€

“Stow it, chav slime!†Craig snarled. “If you didn’t want to hurt me you wouldn’t have stolen my girl! And as for you…â€

He turned on the girl, “…you’re even worse because you went with him! People like you don’t deserve to live!â€

A sudden blast of heat knocked him backwards through the air, allowing Darren and Gemma to fall to the pavement. Sitting up and grunting angrily, Craig looked up at the intervener. Two of the famous Anglomen stood just a few yards away. The red one was pointing at him, smoke rising from the finger of his glove. The blue one looked at the fallen couple and said in a country accent, “Get to where it’s safe, we’ll take it from here.†They did as he bid, disappearing around the corner, arms around each other’s waists. Craig stared, mouth open, as his chance at payback slipped away.

“All right, kid,†the red one was saying to him, “just calm down. If you’re scared of what’s happening to you, don’t worry, we’re the same. Just come with us peacefully, and we can take you to people who can help.â€

“Help?†Craig croaked,ng up. “You think I want help? Think I want to become some government science experiment? I had everything I needed until you came along. I was about to start fixing my life.â€

“By taking away the lives of others?†Blue demanded. “There’s something wrong with your ‘ead, ya greasy twat!â€

“Row…uh, Blue,†warned Red, “I don’t think we want to agitate him.â€

“Too late, boys,†Craig cracked his knuckles, “it’s playtime.â€

“All right, kid,†the red one was saying to him, “just calm down. If you’re scared of what’s happening to you, don’t worry, we’re the same. Just come with us peacefully, and we can take you to people who can help.â€

“Help?†Craig croaked, standing up. “You think I want help? Think I want to become some government science experiment? I had everything I needed until you came along. I was about to start fixing my life.â€

“By taking away the lives of others?†Blue demanded. “There’s something wrong with your ‘ead, ya greasy twat!â€

“Row…uh, Blue,†warned Red, “I don’t think we want to agitate him.â€

“Too late, boys,†Craig cracked his knuckles, “it’s playtime.â€

He released a furious roar and threw his hands out. Purple streams of electricity flew from his palms towards the heroes, who rolled out of the way as the attack struck a lamppost and reduced it to a splintered mound of burnt metal.

“He’s playing dirty!†Blue scowled. “Algo-!â€

“Wait!†Red stopped him. “All he has is the power given to him by the Athzeron radiation, if we use our weapons it’ll be overkill.â€

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s got a hell of a lot more knowledge about how to use his powers.â€

“Point taken…I think.â€

Craig was the type who despised being ignored, and flung another bolt of electricity at the heroes. This time the attack hit its mark, and they were both tossed backwards through the air. Red crashed into the front window of the nearby post office and Blue collided with a fire hydrant.

“Gotcha...†Craig hissed, charging up for the killing blow. Blue struggled into a sitting position, grasping the top of the hydrant for support. His gloved hands began to glow, and the side of the hydrant exploded, sending out a gusher of high-pressure water that struck Craig hard in the stomach and pinned him roughly against a lamp post. Red managed to conjure up a ball of heat in his palms and launched it forward just like a volleyball. It struck the flow of water, turning the spray into a roaring cloud of steam. Trapped inside the grey-white mist, Craig screamed and spat, trying to claw his way out, blinded by it. He finally staggered out, still soaking wet and now perspiring, and held onto a pillar-box until he could regain his bearings.

“Hell of a tag-team,†Red remarked, “so…water’s your power then.â€

“That’s what it looks like,†Blue nodded. “Appropriate, don’t ya think?â€

“If you don’t mind being nicknamed Fish-boy for the rest of your life,†Red smirked.

Craig snarled at them, “…If you’re quite done chatterin’, how about we finish this fight?†His skin began to radiate with a purple aura. “I’ll make you both beg for mercy!â€

“NO!†Red exclaimed. “You’re still wet! If you use electricity-â€

Too late. Craig was paying their words no heed, and built up the biggest electrical discharge he could. The ball of power was the size of a football before it went wrong. It exploded, and Craig’s body was twisted this way and that in agony. Little flecks of his energy danced across the pavement, causing anything electrical to react. Red and Blue shielded themselves as more and more purple lightning coursed through Craig’s body. He let out a bloodcurdling scream and in a blinding flash, disappeared. The two Anglomen stood up, their armour dissipating and leaving them in their regular clothes.

“He…he vanished,†said Scott, eyes wide.

“Overloaded himself,†replied Rowan. “Took too much electrical energy into himself and was…atomised.â€

“Caster needs know about this.â€

“Mm-hmm. Bet they never anticipated this in their studies, eh?â€

“Probably not. Let’s…let’s get over to the base.â€

As the two walked away, a small purple spark bounced across the tarmac and fizzled out of existence. This was far from over.

In the depths of the Bondagues Nebula, a planet died. The last inhabitants fled during its final moments, in a last ditch attempt to survive, to keep their race alive. At the head of the fleet was a battleship, the Horn of Plenty.


Hundreds of years late, on the planet Earth, a newsreader’s voice droned from the television on the wall of the New Destiny University student bar.

“…scientists at INASA’s base in Wales have reported sightings of an unidentified flying object descending towards Cardiff Bay, in the vicinity of Roald Dahl Plass. The Cardiff authorities have begun preparing barriers in case of flooding, and it is speculated INASA will send a research team to investigate the object once the area has stabilised. In other news, you will notice just how shiny my hair is, the result of a new product from…â€

“Blah, switch it off, Barry,†said Bethany Thompson, addressing the barman. At that precise moment, Beth was standing at the jukebox, shifting through row after row of records. She eventually settled on something that suited her and twirled around, looking at her surroundings. There were only a few people in at the moment. Fine, not a problem. She saw Scott seated at one of the round, silver tables, reading a dog-eared book he’d found in the library. Smiling, she walked towards him, swinging her shapely hips from side-to-side before sitting down opposite him. She put two fingers over the book and pushed it down onto the table.

“Why the long face?†she asked.

“I’m just…still trying to get over what happened at Piccadilly Circus,†he replied.

“Oh, change the track, jack,†she sighed. “That business with the crazy emo boy wasn’t your fault. Why does the weight of the world always have to be on your shoulders, eh?â€

“I saw a human being explode right in front of my eyes, Beth,†he said a little bitterly. “That’s not exactly something I can easily forget.â€

“If anyone should feel guilty, it’s Farm-boy,†she pointed out, “besides, I saw you get skewered that time and I’m over it.â€

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me of that,†he muttered, rubbing the spot on his torso where Ketamax had impaled him on his sword, the Zacalibur. “Anyway, I bounced back, sort of. That Craig chap is dead.â€

“Ooh…you’re just a big softy, aren’t you?†Beth smiled and hugged him tightly. “Chin up, chuck.â€

“Yeah, yeah, thanks, Beth,†Scott sighed. He decided to change the subject. “Maybe we should let Professor Caster and Belle know about that U.F.O. they found. It could be related to the Darkshot.â€

“You think so?â€

“If not them, then some other alien race. I personally hope they’re friendly.â€

“That’s a good mentality to have,†Beth smiled. She kissed him on the forehead, and his cheeks lit up. “First, though, let me buy you a drink. Strongbow?â€

“Just a glass of water,†replied Scott. “It’s too early for alcohol.â€


The Horn of Plenty plummeted towards Earth, the alien creatures inside panicking as their ship’s power finally gave out after being on minimal usage for centuries.

“Khelfark!†one of them shouted. “Nikragak motron hosh!â€

“Vorgoos del shinbat crug Xaneria!†another shot back. “Cagga…controoli!â€

They screamed and prayed. Their leader, the one known as Khelfark, whispered his regrets under his breath as the blue surface of Cardiff Bay roared forth towards them. The ship rocked violently, and all was silent.

“Khelfark…el…terra…musek.â€

“El terra musek serat, Xaneria…â€


A modified black Rolls-Royce Phantom pulled up outside Roald Dahl Plass in Cardiff, and seven figures climbed out. Leading them was Grant Caster, with Belle behind him, and the five Anglomen in tow. Police had set up a cordon of yellow tape to keep out the civilians, which the visitors from Sub-Camelot just passed under without giving the officers a glance. They were all in awe of the massive object floating out of the water. It resembled a massive, grey feather, with a dark orb on the end of the stem, which many of the on-site INASA scientists had decided was the cockpit.

“Have you found the entrance yet?†Caster asked head of the research team, a certain Professor Basil J. Croft.

“We believe so,†said Professor Croft, gesturing to a boat out in the bay. “It’s been sealed, so we’ve had to use our new laser-torch and we think we’re making progress. They should be done in about half an hour.â€

“That long?â€

“It’s a thick door. Strangely enough, we’ve not faced any kind of defence mechanism, which leads us to believe the ship is running on no power at all, except perhaps life support for those inside but we’re not certain of that yet.â€

“Any life signs?â€

“Well, there’s something inside, not sure if it’s alive. The exterior of the ship is too thick for our infra-red scans to pass through. Communications have failed too.â€

“So how do you know there’s something inside?â€

“Noises from within the ship. Banging, chattering, and some of the team reported seeing someone inside the cockpit. My personal assessment is one of the crew was looking out. They could very well be stranded here with no means of sustenance. INASA wanted to dissect any dead we find…â€

“I know the next part,†Caster interrupted. “Brigadier G enforced a recent new policy saying we would be better off observing the living rather than just cutting up any corpses. Not sure where I stand on that as a scientist, but as a human I say it’s got merit. Did the team say anything specific about what they saw in the cockpit?â€

“We’ve been led to believe it looked human, to a degree anyway. I can’t confirm that since I didn’t see it myself.â€

Nearby, Rowan sighed and looked at the others, “Half an hour, this’ll be boring.â€

“You don’t think this is exciting at all?†asked Ivy. “I mean, real aliens.â€

“We’ve met real aliens,†Rowan reminded her.

“Yes but they wanted to blow us all to kingdom-come,†said Beth. “If these ones aren’t like the Darkshot, think of all the prospects, you know? I mean, we’ve got cities on Mars and…well…we did have a city on the Moon until you-know-who turned up.â€

“We need to convince the Professor and Belle to let us go there and free the people they’re holding hostage,†said Ivy. “God knows what they’re doing to them.â€

“Don’t you Chinese believe in lots of Gods?†asked Rowan, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m only a quarter Asian you insensitive git!†Ivy snapped. She slapped him once and stormed off in a huff.

“I was just asking,†Rowan murmured, covering his sore cheek with his hand. “Little brat.â€

“Watch what you call her,†said Scott defensively. “That was really harsh, Rowan.â€

“Oh, you too?†Rowan groaned. “She’s come here wearing a glittery dress and a fluffy boa. You don’t think she’s dressed maybe a smidge inappropriate? And how am I being harsh? Eh?!â€

“I’m not hearing this conversation,†said Alan dryly, walking over to the scientists to get away from the stupid arguing. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black parka.

“So…now what do we do?†asked Rowan sheepishly.

“Find the nearest chip shop while we wait for them to finish cutting open that ship,†said Beth. It was not a sugestion, but her two friends did not seem to disagree with her. “Oi, Ivy! Alan!â€


Khelfark watched as the burning red light around the door began to form a complete rectangle. His crew huddled close, scared of the creatures outside. Beside him, Xaneria clutched her translator necklace. Many languages of the galaxy required more than what their mouths were capable of, that made the necklaces rather handy. They prayed that whatever language these creatures spoke, the necklace knew it. The door flopped aside and the alien sunlight flowed in.