Tired of waiting for that Kool-Aid movie depicted in Apple TV‘s The Studio to actually happen? We may have the next best thing. We’ve never heard of Rakia Media before but they’re a movie production company that just acquired the rights to make a feature film adaption based on…Chia Pets.
Chia Pets came into existence sometime in the 1980s, the creation of kitsch masters Joseph Enterprises. They also came up with The Clapper, The Ove Glove and The Chimney Sweeping Log (later forced to change its name to The Creosote Sweeping Log after lawsuits pointed out the log could not actually clean your chimney). Every holiday season for the longest time, I would see ads for their weird products pop up during the local news or syndicated sitcom reruns. You knew it was almost Christmas when the TV was going “Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia” or “Clap On, Clap Off.”
You don’t see the ads much anymore, but I’m told Chia Pets are still a thing, and there are variants for every licensed property under the sun. Name a popular TV show and there’s probably a Chia Pet modeled after one of its characters. Chia Pet ITSELF has never been licensed before…but I suppose there’s a first time for everything.
“Chia Pets have been featured on our shelves since childhood, and we’re thrilled to help grow the brand to new heights,” said producer-writer Adam Jay Epstein. “We can’t wait for audiences to check out the world of Chia in theaters and screens across the world.”
We have no idea what this proposed movie would be about. We suspect they don’t know either. We anticipate that they will ask a chatbot. And then an entire data center in Texas will blow up because it simply can’t compute such a thing.
As far as Dumb Movie News for January 29, 2026 goes, we were split between this and someone else announcing they were going to try to make a Steal A Brainrot movie. We picked the Chia Pet one. You’re welcome.


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