Finally, A Game Controller You Can Eat

Microsoft just announced a game controller made entirely out of chocolate. It’s about time, right? But wait a minute….is such a thing functional? Sadly, no. And alas, even if it was, it would quickly melt in your lap and create a sticky mess. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

The chocolate controller’s true purpose is to promote a movie — Warner Bros’ Wonka, due out later this year. The question of whether or not a prequel to the beloved 1971 classic is necessary is best left for an article about the film itself. This is about a chocolate XBox.

But it’s not a commercial product — you won’t find it under the tree, even if you’ve been good. The only way you can get the chocolate XBox controller is to win a contest, just like Charlie Bucket had to do to get inside Wonka’s factory. Entry requires following the official XBox account on Twitter and retweeting the post hyping the contest. This means the Veruca Salts of the world should start making hundreds of fake accounts now to stuff the odds in their favor.

The winner will not only get the edible controller wrapped in gold foil, but an XBox Series X with a Wonka design on the shell, an additional, non-chocolate controller that works, and five pieces of candy, each themed around video gaming:

• Achievement Hunting: Delicious chocolate with a boost of energy ingredients, which helps with long-term gaming focus. Time to rack up that Gamerscore.
• Button Masher: Buzzing with bold espresso to keep your reactions crisp and your head in the game.
• Your Citrus Sidekick: Chocolate and orange team up for a sunny burst of flavour, in honour of the fruitful variety of games available on Xbox Game Pass.
• Xtra Kick: Balances out the sweet with just the right amount of heat. Just like any end boss, this gets you a little fired up but yields sweet rewards.
• Wonka for the Win: Sometimes the greatest joys in life are also the simplest. So, this treat focuses on the essence of what makes a great truffle: the chocolate. 100% pure, decadently delicious chocolate.

You have until December 14 to enter, and potentially win. But if you do, this isn’t the type of thing you can save and let appreciate in value. Chocolate goes bad eventually. You’re gonna have to eat your prize.