After spending some time apart, CBS/Paramount and Viacom got remarried in a lavish ceremony last year. Now there’s a new/old boss in charge….and what does every entertainment conglomerate want these days, more than anything? Their own successful streaming service, of course. Only one problem: CBS sort of already has that, in the form of CBS All Access.

How is that a problem? Because it’s not big ENOUGH to speak in the same breath as Netflix, Hulu or Disney+. Viacom is following the latter example and giving the service a rebrand under the wholly original name of….Paramount+.

As many have already pointed out, despite being one of the biggest movie studios in the world, the Paramount label doesn’t carry the same heft these days that a name like Disney does, so when people see Paramount+, it will be unclear what they’re getting, aside from Star Trek.

That’s probably why Paramount wants you to know they’re working on five new shows, announced today. Unfortunately none of them will hold much appeal to the audience of this site:

* The Offer, a limited drama series about the making of The Godfather, Al Ruddy, the actual producer behind the movie, will be the main character, and the real Ruddy will serve as executive producer.

* Lioness, a spy drama about “a young Marine recruited to befriend the daughter of a terrorist to bring the organization down from within.”

MTV’s Behind the Music — The Top 40, a reboot whose title attributes the series to the wrong network (it was VH1, you guys). The show is described as “a unique and intimate look at the 40 biggest artists of all time, through their voices and their eyes.”

* The Real Criminal Minds, a documentary variant of the CBS program dramatizing real crimes.

* A revival of the hit BET drama The Game, an idea that was puttered around at The CW a few months ago, but we guess is winding up her.

One thing we don’t know is if the name change will come with a cost increase, but hopefully not. The changeover is expected in early 2021.