Covering B-horror means you get handed some really weird ones sometimes. But even the weird ones tend to follow a pattern — they’re usually trying to get a social media reaction by simply existing, like The Velocipastor or that movie about the killer sofa we discussed last month. Then there’s The Special, which distributor Devilworks revealed today. This time, I may be at a loss for words.

First off, there’s the promotional tagline they handed us: “Fatal Attraction Meets The Blob.” Of all the “thing meets other thing” hooks I’ve heard, this one is quite the headscratcher. HOW are these things supposed to go together? And why would we want them to? The brief plot synopsis is no help:

USA Supernatural Horror ‘The Special’ from the director B. Harrison Smith known for (Death House, Camp Dread) about a young guy who is offered ‘The Special’ for a night of pleasure beyond his wildest imagination.

Oh, so it’s a drug movie? Anyone who grew up in the 80s and 90s was bombarded with scary stories about killer drugs, in an effort to keep us from using. But that’s not it. The truth is….The Special is SORT of a drug movie, KIND of, but the opiate in question is….

Look, you need to just watch this trailer for yourself. The music gives its best try to make this scenario they cooked up feel terrifying, but I dare you — I DARE YOU — to get through it without giggling like a six-year-old at least once. Just….WOW:

The Special stars Davy Raphaely (Camp Dread, 6 Degrees of Hell), Dave Sheridan (Sky Sharks, Beyond White Space, Victor Crowley, Fifty Shades of Black)  and Sarah French (Ouija House, Amityville Murders) and was written by Mark Steensland and James Newman. Also, it exists.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.