A game was just released for XBox One called “Amazing Princess Sarah.” It’s been on Xbox 360, Steam and Windows Phone (just Windows Phone, nothing larger) since 2014, but this weekend marks its next-gen debut. So how amazing IS she? The game’s developer, a small studio called Haruneko, released a synposis:
You are Sarah, princess of the peaceful realm of Kaleiya. The quiet life of your kingdom was lost the day your father was seduced and then kidnapped by Lilith, a demon mistress. Her only desire is to dominate your empire and kill you. Use your powerful sword to kill all Lilith’s minions, then quickly throw the dead body on the next enemy to perform amazing combos! Travel through ice castles, cold dungeons, lava caves and much more – straight to the castle where Lilith hides! Bring your father and king back home!
Haraneko has never officially released any screenshots of “Amazing Princess Sarah” (the shot above was taken from the YouTube trailer). All they’ve put out is the promotional poster image, which serves as the “box” for anyone browsing through the Steam or XBox marketplace. Based on everything you know, you’d expect Sarah to be a wacky chibi manga lady with giant eyeballs, right? The company name is Japanese, the concept of playing as a princess is Japanese, and the name is totally Japanese. There’s no other interpretation, is there?
Ladies and gentlemen, the box art for Amazing Princess Sarah:
Well, I guess there’s…..ONE way she’s amazing. They’ve gone the old shameless Evony route to promote this game…if you shrink this drawing down to the thumbnail size it would be in the digital marketplace, the mammaries become the one recognizable feature. The game’s name looks ridiculous when paired with cheap fantasy novel cover art, and the logo would take around five minutes total to make in Photoshop. Worse yet, Haruneko’s logo is a laughing cat, which almost serves as a punchline to this entire image. I know just how it feels!
Haruneko has published two other games before this and they’ve both retained their Japanese art. It’s been a while since the glory days of badly Americanizing foreign games. Sarah and that guy from the original Mega Man box would make a fine couple.