Worrisome New Trend: B-Movie Monsters Addicted To Drugs

Our nation faces a crisis. The instances of animals in trashy movies getting addicted to dangerous substances is reaching epidemic levels. First it was Cocaine Bears, then it was followed by the appearance of Meth Gators, and now we’re hearing stories of GIANT SHARKS on coke. Something must be done to curb the tide!

In Cocaine Shark, coming to DVD in July from Wild Eye Releasing, illegal experiments are going on in the criminal underworld to invent a highly addictive drug via experiments on sharks. Maybe rats would have been more practical and affordable, but no one thought of that, so when the mutated crab-sharks escape, it’s mayhem in our nation’s waterways. Cocaine Shark was directed by Mark Polonia from a script by Bando Glutz, and stars Samantha Coolidge, Ryan Dalton, Natalie Himmelberger and Titus Himmelberger.

This time, we actually have to wonder if they’ve gotten close enough to the original in marketing that a lawsuit could happen. The logo Wild Eye has whipped up for Cocaine Shark is nearly identical to the one for Cocaine Bear, to the point that someone shopping in the Wal-Mart bargain aisle might be fooled into thinking this was an official sequel. Guess we’ll see what happens there.

But there’s a bigger problem and it’s the epidemic of drug abuse among this nation’s B-movie monsters. We recommend some kind of DARE program where police officers walk into the woods and play cassette tapes with rap songs about Just Saying No. Cocaine Shark will be released on DVD and digital July 11.