At some point these blasphemous live-action remakes of animated Disney classics are going to hit diminishing returns, right? People are bound to stop going to these at some point, right? They should be aware that with every remake greenlit, a fairy in Neverland dies. Nevertheless, the machine grinds on and the real (and therefore “better”) version of Mulan got its first public showing this weekend.

Some remakes just photocopy the original script and recreate it all; others take chances. This version of Mulan is certainly taking a lot of them. The one thing people always bring up as enjoying the most is the song “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You,” which will not be reprised here because it’s not a musical. Instead of the invading Hun army, Mulan’s big foe is a witch, and most controversially of all, there is no talking dragon to be found.

Mind, I’m calling the omission of Mushu controversial because everyone else is. You should actually consider that a blessing….I really don’t want to see the “realistic” CGI dragon the FX department would cook up.

Originally this film was meant to come out last December, but Disney swapped it out with Nutcracker and the Four Realms. We’re unsure if that means this whole thing has been complete and gathering dust, but if so, it will continue to collect cobwebs for another eight months….its release date is March 2020.

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