Rumors of Sega’s departure from the console market appear to have been greatly exaggerated. Not only has a new game just been announced for Playstation 4 and XBox One systems as well as Windows PC, it actually appears to be good. Better than good. In fact, I don’t see any possible way it can be bad. Folks, the game is called “Tembo the Badass Elephant.”
Yes, you read correctly. “Tembo the Badass Elephant.” That is the greatest title for a game ever, and has the potential to finally unseat Sonic on the throne of Sega’s Coolest Concept.
When a fearsome enemy army known as The Phantom starts attacking Shell City, the National Army knows just who to call. The bandana-wearing, warpaint-cheeked blue elephant of destruction will smash, bash, swing and butt-stomp through 17 hand-drawn sidescrolling levels in his pursuit of justice. Along the way he can manipulate conveniently-placed objects like cannons and giant boxing gloves. Comic book bubble letters will enhance every sound effect with giant “CRASH!” and “BOOM!” letters (as well as an unexplained “BADA BADA BADA” trail coming out of Tembo’s badass ass).
The game is being co-developed by Game Freak, the Japanese studio behind every main Pokemon game. Game Freak rarely steps out of their comfort zone unless they have a good reason, and when they do, we get some great sidescrollers like 2005’s “Drill Dozer.”
The only downside to this is I’m guessing the game will not have a physical release. Boo to that — I NEED something called “Tembo The Badass Elephant” sitting on my shelf. You can always mock up some boxart, though.