(Where I Watch) Outlaw Star

[Wraithstrike]

Episode 19: Law and Lawlessness

Barda takes a large chunk of ribs off the grill and starts eating by hand. She then notices everyone else staring.

Barda: "What? The Boom Tube takes a great deal of calories out of you."

Aquaman: "Nothing. I'll have to put some more ribs down for the rest of us."

Booster: "Aquaman, I've gotta roll. Upload the rest of this to Skeets, please."

Aquaman: "No problem, Booster. It's already done."

Batman's face appears on the communicator screen.

Batman: "Aquaman, is Billy Batson there?"

Billy: "Hey Batman, what's going on?"

Batman: "I've picked up word that Doctor Sivana is trying to duplicate the power of a Green Lantern Ring."

Billy: "Holy Moley! Call Guy, Batman. I'm on my way."

Batman: "Already did. He'll meet you on the surface."

Billy and Booster head out armed with the remaining episodes.

Batman: "I assume you've found something interesting, Aquaman, to be holding a party like this."

Aquaman: "Indeed, Batman. The invitation is open to you, as it is to everyone."

Batman: "Sorry, but justice never takes a break for Outlaw Star."

Aquaman: "Well, that's a shame. See you around Batman."

Aquaman starts the next episode for all who are still present

Barda: "There is something here about the Private Military Companies in frontier space. I find this animation to be telling a much bigger form of the story that the narrator is showing. Space Forces and PMC's are a glamorous job, but there isn't much that the people on these frontier worlds can do but hope that they're paid up."

Aquaman: "We start with Outlaw Star having just beaten a pirate vessel when the security forces arrive to cart them off to a space station for suspicion of piracy. It's an interrogation with one human and one Saurian. And Gene gets on the Saurian's nerves, leading to fisticuffs."

Plastic Man: "There's a vessel called the Mid-Summer's Night Queen that was attacked by pirates, and only 128 survivors were saved. The female officer, Valeria thinks it might have something to do with the attack on Gene's father."

Barda:" The survivors of the Mid-summer's Night Queen arrive at the station, and stampede through the halls, as if chased by the forces of hell. And all the Outlaw Star crew can do is watch. And there's an explosion in the main docking area. The Queen is attacking the ship."

Ronny: "The pirates are attacking the security forces from within. And the Outlaw Star crew escapes, only to find Duze, the Saurian buried under some debris. Gene takes Duze's gun...and blows away two pirates that were going to kill him. With almost everyone working on leverage, they manage to save Duze."

Barda: "The fact that Suzuka can cut a vehicle in half with a wooden sword means those pirates she just struck with a lead pipe aren't getting up any time soon. The crew reboards Outlaw Star, which had been disarmed. They're using the ship to attack the Queen and clear the pirate fleet outside. By locking onto one ship, Melfina is able to take control of their computer systems and open fire on incoming missiles."

Plastic Man: " When a pirate vessel manages to grapple Outlaw Star, it's blown apart by the military vessels, allowing Gene to finish off the one he's grappling...by punching right through the bridge with the Grappler arm. And the military fleet takes out the pirate carrier"

Aquaman: "When they finish the fight, Valeria pays the crew in Dragonite, and Duze tells Valeria to drop any investigation into the source of the Outlaw Star, just for pride's sake."

 

[Wraithstrike]

Episode 20: Cats & Girls & Spaceships

Aquaman: "This episode focuses on Jim, who is only 11 years old. I thought he was much older. He's a prodigy, the child of a professional hacker. "

Ronnie: "The camraderie between the crew is pretty impressive. And a moment of extreme calm is followed by ship to ship combat. It looks like the other ship has the Grappler arms as separate ships. Oh wait a minute... I know who this is."

Barda: "One of the Anten Five, the one with a mastery of space combat and a thing for cats, correct?"

Aquaman: "I guess calling them the Anten Five is appropriate. Yes, I figured that out as well. And since she's the youngest of the Five, she's going to try to get at the crew through Jim."

Jason: "After the fight ends, they head to a way station, and Jim starts fighting with Gene. Gene heads off, Melfina as a babysitter."

Aquaman: "Jim spends all night working out a strategy for dealing with the enemy ship, and when he goes out for a breath of fresh air, he meets some cats that lead him into an open park. And it's here we meet our potential assassin, Han-mio."

Barda: "She's laying it on rather think there, isn't she?"

Jason: "And Furies are subtle when it comes to romantic advances?"

Barda flips a table and crosses the room, stopping her fist an inch short from Jason's terrified face.

Barda: "Never insult a Fury, boy. However...what you say is true. Subtlety is not a subject taught to Furies."

Barda returns to her seat, righting the table on the way back. Jason slumps back into his seat, still quivering.

Aquaman: "Barda, you are a guest. I would ask that you refrain from harming anyone else while you are here."

Barda: "My apologies. Gene and Jim are working on the Outlaw Star to save costs, but they get into a fight over the proper method to show a woman you're interested. Not many man can punch their way out of a shark's jaws to impress a woman."

Aquaman raises his hand, but thinks betters of it.

Ronnie: "A message from Fred. Jim was sent some coded information on clues about the galactic leyline...Oh, wow. Catwoman would be so conflicted about this. Han-mio's cats are hooked up to the computers on her ship and are the ones who pilot the rocket arms."

Aquaman: "Having dealt with Catwoman before, I can say she'd solidly hate this. But the cats and the pirate vessel are waiting for Outlaw Star to launch. But this time, Gene asks Jim for strategy. This strategy involved upgrading the power output to the Grappler Arms by 150%, and putting Aisha, Suzuka and Gene in control."

Ronnie: "With each arm under the control of one pilot, Outlaw Star soon destroys one cat-powered arm, and Suzuka works with Jim to destroy the other arm. Now, the crew has no way to know that sentient cats are piloting spaceships...Wow, what an awesome phrase."

Barda: "Nonetheless, with the cat-grappler arms destroyed, Han-mio's ship is obliterated. But because of this, Jim loses out on meeting Han-mio ever again."

Ronnie: "This is an artistic scene. When Jim walks back from not seeing Han-mio in the park, he meets Gene on a bridge at sunset, and though their lips move, we only hear the background music. Not much more needs to be said."

Aquaman: "True. But the end scene with a single rose from Jim's gift to Han-mio floating in space is over the top."

Barda: "And the seven greatest assassins for the Kei Pirates are down to four! Weapons Master, Werewolf, Space Combat Prodigy... we still have the cipher, the sex symbol...who are the others again?"

Jason: "Not sure, but we're probably going to find out."

 

[Nnnkingston]

I started watching Outlaw again recently. It hasn't quite lived up to my childhood memories.

 

[Wraithstrike]

Episode 21: Grave of the Dragon
Aquaman: "We're starting this episode with a list of ancient ruins on each homeworld. And the ruins of an extinct ancient race are the source of power here. Why does this sound familiar?"

Ronnie: "Have you played Mass Effect?"

Aquaman: "Yes. Yes I have. I guess it's a common trope for a long dead civilization to be an element in space travel. The Outlaw Star is making a landing on a planet previously only surveyed by archaeological teams. This is a desolate world, and Gene mirrors my thoughts."

Barda: "The landing site is the only level terrain around. I can understand why the Outlaw Star would need it."

Aquaman: "There's a great deal of soul searching going on. We're not sure what's going to become of Melfina, or why Aisha's been ordered to find the Leyline. And the ruins are outrageous in their designs. And here to provide something non-outrageous, it's the McDougall brothers!"

Jason: " Melfina's wanna-be rapist and his brother the scumbag. I get more excitement out of watching the Anten Four."

Barda: "Indeed. Now here's an odd bit. The archaeological program left the ruins due to funding issues and the Kei Pirates."

Aquaman: "If they had had Batman on their side, neither of those would have been an issue. There's no report about what happened during the initial survey, so Gene suggests checking out the barracks."

Jason: "WHY DOES HARRY HAVE A MECH SUIT? Sorry for yelling, but why?"

Ronnie: "Because he's a coward, and he's expecting to either be shot by Gene or sliced by Suzuka. Oh hey, looks like the Outlaw crew has found where the Ark of the Covenant was. Guess the nazis got to it first."

Barda: "Beg pardon?"

Jason: "Aquaman..."

Aquaman: "Yes, when we finish here, I will give Barda the Indiana Jones dvds. It looks like Mefina's found a humongous dragon tattoo on the wall that responds to her touch. Gene's talking to Suzuka about the promise he made to Melfina. He knows that Melfina was constructed for the purpose of reaching that Galactic Leyline, but he hates that that's all he knows. He wants to help Melfina, and his perceived failure at it makes him distant to her."

Jason: "Hey, the ending theme is a real song in this universe as well. Coming from Melfina, it's incredibly haunting. But Harry is there to ruin the mood. Melfina's turning him down, politely this time."

Barda: "Gene has arrived in time, and still hasn't forgiven either McDougall brother for what they've done. Rob killed his father, and Harry attacked Melfina in her mind. McDougall arrives in his exosuit to do battle. Inside the temple, Aisha is talking with Jim when her ears pick up a gun being loaded. She pulls Jim out of the way, thus proving that any talk of them not being a team is wrong."

Aquaman: "Suzuka's fighting Rob and Aisha's fighting the catbots, while Gene gets blasted by the cannons on Harry's mech suit. And when this happens, Melfina's scream awakens a massive earthquake. The quake destroys the temple and the catbots, and knocks Harry's mech suit over."

Jason: "'From this distance, I won't miss.' Gene's not going to let Harry get his paws on Melfina, and he uses what has to be one of his last caster shells to make the suit explode. Everyone rushes back to the ship, but before they board Gene finally tells Melfina that he hasn't forgotten his promise. And she's willing to go with him because she wants to know."

Ronnie: "They're at another station now. Is the Angel Links station? I can't really tell. Oh look, it's Melfina's crazy creator sending a message. He follows the ship with a tracker he planted in the planning stages. You go, Gene! He's not listening to these crazy stories, and decides he'll just go into Kei territory to force them to tell about the Leyline."

Barda: "Doctor Khan just used a complex keyphrase to shut off...he shut off Melfina's Personality? Were this man here, I would get the reactivation codes by hanging him over the firepits of Apokalips."

Aquaman: "Nonetheless, he's now blackmailing the crew, If they want Melfina back, they'll have to infiltrate a prison and find some crazy convict who knows the coordinates. I do like, however, that the preview for the next episode shows Suzuka coldcocking the doctor. He certainly deserves it."

 

[Wraithstrike]

Episode 22: Gravity Jailbreak

Red Tornado and Billy Batson re-enter, both bruised and exhausted, but obviously triumphant.

Aquaman: "How'd the mission go, Billy?"

Billy: "Sivana's Power Battery exploded. It took out his lab, and every house in a hundred foot radius. We saved everyone, however. Where are we in Outlaw Star?"

Aquaman: "The 22nd episode. It's going to involve a prison, rescuing Melfina's personality and watching her creator get beat down."

Barda: "This narration strikes me like a criminal proceeding on Apokalips."

Billy: "Except there's no swift, simple trial, right?"

Barda: "Exactly. Those who are accused of serious crimes are executed. So, the prison world is Hecaton Kyres, a hellish high gravity world. No successful escapes have been made."

Red Tornado: "Gene's going into prison unarmed, and the security drones are controlled by a sadistic warden who will put a prisoner in 10 G's just for speaking out of turn."

Billy: "The prison's name is Gehenna? Well that's pretty apt, I guess. More of these flashbacks to what happened in between episodes. I really don't like Doctor Khan's speech here. But Aisha has a good point. Due to the time dilation of the gravity well, every seventy-four minutes feels like a full day. So if they're still going by earth measures of time..."

Red Tornado: "Each earth day of the sentence would be 19.459 repeating days. Over even a ten year sentence, That would equal 71,025.35 days in 3G's at least."

Aquaman: "Ouch. Gene will have to be more of a thinker than a fighter when he gets into Gehenna. Doctor Khan is far too proud of his work on a monopole compass which he gave away to the guards at the gate. The 10 G prison has Gene flattened on the floor, but he's met his convict contact, Saiya Wong, for the information he needs."

Billy: "Somebody actually did escape, though not for long. He hid explosives in his own body, and his own escape attempt is cut short as the robots beat him senseless."

Barda: "Gene's following his target around the prison, and he gets into a fight with some of Wong's goons and calmly walks back to the mess hall. I like how Gene uses reverse psychology here. He just got Wong to admit that he doesn't want to die a bloodless execution, that he doesn't want to wait for his heart to give out. He still has hope. And that hope is what Gene was looking for."

Billy: "Like all great jailbreaks, this one starts with a fight. One of the warden's robots takes a header into the energy field, shorting it out. This puts Gene and Wong into the confiscated goods locker, where Gene is able to put his hands on the monopole and Wong on some kind of hacking device. They take control of their monorail train and jack up the speed so it punches out through the gate of the punishment center."

Aquaman: "And now it's time for some SCIENCE! Gene takes apart the compass, letting the South magnet drop to the ground. He then clips the north magnet to his belt, and starts levitating away from the planet's surface. Wong has no choice but to grab hold of Gene's waist and hang on for dear life."

Barda: "The Outlaw Star performs the single greatest example of fly fishing I've ever seen. No doubt Gene and Wong are thrilled to be back in 1 G. As promised, Doctor Khan reactivates Melfina...and is promptly knocked out by Suzuka! YES!"

Billy: "Gene's being a good guy, and an outlaw. He's letting Wong take Khan's ship to drop him off somewhere far away. No killing. And in return, Wong hands him a watch with a data file on the leyline. The adventure is coming to a close now."

Aquaman "Oh great. The next episode is a Hot Springs episode. Is it absolutely vital to watch it?"

Billy: "Skip it."

Jason: "Seconded."

Ronnie: "Thirded."

Barda: "Agreed."

Aquaman: "Right then. Skipping Episode 23 and going right to 24."

 

[Wraithstrike]

Out of curiosity, I did view said hot springs episode, because people tell me it's plot important.

GODDAMN, THAT EPISODE SUCKED.

There are two redeeming things about this episode, and breasts aren't them.

It showed that Gene will doggedly pursue anything he sets his mind on.

And it gave information about the rare caster shells.

Aside from that, it sucked.

I love these characters. They should not work, and yet they do. You want to give me fanservice? Fine. Show me Suzuka slicing a spaceship in half. Show me Aisha overpowering an Anten assassin. Show me Melfina discovering her real identity.

I do not need naked. Naked does not equal Artistic. Naked does not make the characters any better. Naked does nothing to push the plot forward. All it does is give hardcore fanboys nosebleeds and erections.

I've come to love this show, and I still do. But I consider the women of Outlaw Star to be perfectly good characters without needing to see cheesecake.

 

[Wraithstrike]

Episode 24: Cutting the Galactic Leyline

Billy: "I've done some research, and Gene picked up some knowledge about how magic works, and got some rare caster shells out of the last episode. Shells that require energy from the gunman to work. That will probably be important."

Aquaman: "According to the opening narration, the whole cast, including a ship called The Geomancer, probably of Kei Pirate origin, and the apparently unkillable Harry McDougall are all gathering for this final meeting."

Barda: "As Outlaw Star is being resupplied, Gene talks about his new life-absorbing shells. He promises Melfina he won't use them one after another, which means he probably is. Oh look, Harry McDougall's almost entirely cybernetic. He has teh same level of control over the ship that Melfina does. And who is responsible for that? Doctor Khan."

Ronnie: "Hazanko of the Anten Four is working against the wishes of the the King, and his allied assassins are all working against. They're trying to open the Leyline themselves. The Outlaw Star is there, and the pirates are not happy about it. It's time for grappler combat!"

Aquaman: "A gun in one hand and a blaster in the other. Outlaw Star certainly got some upgrades from Fred's money. And what's this coming out of sub-aether? A Ctarl-Ctarl battleship!"

Jason: " Aisha's been giving up her location to the Empire this whole time. So the Ctarl-Ctarl are coming to claim the leyline. They just flew into the black space around the leyline and came out crazed. And Gene being Gene, he's flying right towards them so the Outlaw Star can get into the void and open the Leyline."

Barda: "Melfina takes control of Outlaw Star and flies into the void, and here's the Shangri La to take advantage of the situation. Melfina adjusts the ship to follow a spiral pattern, and the McDougall's follow.

Aquaman: "The Leyline is open for the pirates to enter. And now Khan is talking about the creation of Melfina. Melfina is a mystery even Khan couldn't solve, and he warns Harry McDougall to not get invovled. And this is when the fight gets insane. As the McDougall's fight the pirates, the Outlaw star dives towards what could be considered some kind of Dyson Sphere...or Dyson Cylinder. As they enter it, Gilliam tells them that there's a breathable atmosphere inside."

Jason: "Melfina's surprised that she was able to guide Outlaw Star to safety, and this is when pirates and McDougall arrive. Melfina is teleported away and the rest are told to state their desire. This seems a lot like choosing the form of the Traveler. And before she asks, Aquaman, please give Barda a copy of the Ghostbusters DVDs."

Barda: "You assume I have not seen Ghostbusters? Such folly. Let's go right into the next episodes."

Aquaman: "Episode 25, Maze of Despair, coming right up!"

Jason: "Ouch. There's Melfina's lullaby again. Still haunting. And with these images of her memories with the Outlaw Crew, it's one of those things I'm going to see when I close my eyes tonight."

Billy: "Going right from that to the intro is whiplash. But here we are again. The voice of the Leyline wants to know why Melfina returned. Gene is teleported to base of a mountain path. Hazanko's taking Jukai, the straitjacketed sorceror to find the gate."

Ronnie: "It seems the universe in the Leyline has a sense of zen humor because all paths converge into one. Gene and Suzuka come across a chasm which falls under Gene's feet. Suzuka turns to see.. Scarecrow!"

Aquaman: "It certainly looks like the not-so-good Doctor Crane. His name is Hitoriga, and he has a long-standing feud with Suzuka. He killed her family. And he...surgically altered his face to appear as hers. Creepy."

Billy: " Gene is off and running to find Melfina, but he encounters another pirate, this one being the one with sex appeal. And Jim and Aisha have come across Jukai. Aisha's going to fight Jukai alone."

Aquaman: "Gene's wasting his shells and he takes out one of his potent shells. It creates a miniature black hole that absorbs the witch, and lashes back at Gene."

Barda: "Harry McDougall has found Melfina, and is trying to be as "gentle" as a slime like him can be. Hazanko arrives to claim his prize, and Harry does the first noble thing he's done ever. He uses every last trick in his new bio-armor to fight Hazanko, even managing to crack open his mask."
Cries of "OHHHHH!" and "OOOOHH" fill the viewing area

Billy: "I can only assume that after having the blood pulled from his body, Harry is permanently dead. Hazanko uses the same shutdown phrase that Khan did, forcing Melfina to serve as the key to the gate."

Barda: " Suzuka's still fighting Hitoriga, and she allows him to use his strongest move on her so she can fight back with Crimson, a style she developed just to kill him. And Aisha falls in combat with Jukai, but she managed to cut him open in the tornado. She's tired, but victorious."

Aquaman: "Ron McDougall has found his brother's body, and he's threatenign Doctor Khan with his caster. At least he's not a complete villain. Perhaps Harry really was all he had in his life. Gene's arrived, and he fires a number nine at Ron, which blasts Ron to elsewhere. And now Gene's suffering from using the shell and he's remembering everything his father and Hilda told him. He's fainted, and Jim brings him back to life with an adrenaline shot."

Barda: "Gene sends Jim to find Suzuka and Aisha and get back to the ship. Now Gene and Khan are talking in the final location when Harry arrives. Khan tells Gene to drop his weapon, because Harry's already dead. Harry's able to wake Melfina up, but the last essence of his soul fades. As the doors open, he asks Gene to get Melfina to sing that song one more time."

Aquaman: "Time for the finale! Episode 26: Return to Space! Hmm, a cold open. That's certainly different. Now Hazanko has Melfina locked into the Leyline Control, and he demands power. Gene hits Hazanko with the special shell, and proves that he does have a lot of stamina. Three shells should kill him, but he's still going. Doctor Khan wants knowledge, and doesn't get that Gene has a different desire."

Barda: " Hazanko hasn't been killed. He pulls himself from the black hole to give us the lore of the world. He declares Melfina as a puppet. Gene denies that she was meant to be a tool and fires his most powerful shell. The Voice of the Leyline declares "They are dead. Return them."

Ronnie: "I guess McDougall's have a measure of plot defense. Ron's still alive, being reconstructed aboard the Shangri-la and he speaks with a backup copy of Harry's consciousness. Shangri-la is leaving the leyline to exact revenge."

Jason: "It looks like the souls of everyone are doing battle in the void space, when Gene is woken up to see Melfina dancing. They are both dead and not dead. The Leyline is keeping them alive. The Leyline is a galactic library, in the form of a machine god."

Red Tornado: "They are existing within the world of data. Khan was given his desire to understand everything. And Melfina explains that Gene can have anything he desires, just by saying it."

Barda: "Gene and Melfina have but one desire, and that is each other. But Hazanko has gained the power he wanted. Gene and Melfina are going to combine their power to fight off Hazanko. They return in physical form to the Outlaw Star."

Aquaman: " Hazanko has combined his essence with the Geomancer, creating some non-euclidean...oh what the heck. It's a Human Reaper! The fight happens in real time and cyber space. Hazanko grappled with Gene's cyber form, threatening to absorb him. MELFINA TO THE RESCUE! By working with the images of his friends, Gene is able to break free and Outlaw Star goes to Grappler Mode."

Barda: "The giant form of Outlaw Star was an illusion, and here comes the real vessel to defeat Hazanko by flying right through his head! That's the best way to kill a giant foe."

Ronnie: "Melfina's Maiden of the Leyline persona is separating from her, to take the leyline elsewhere. But she's got something she can care for. And here's how the aftermath boils down. Gene and Company went back to Sentinel III. Gene was forced to take out a loan with Fred to pay off the damages he did to the spaceport. Suzuka's not going to kill Fred and she's parting on good terms with the Outlaw Star crew. Aisha's decided to work her way up in the world again, until the Empire comes for her."

Aquaman: "Melfina lays a bouquet of flowers down to honor those who died searching for the leyline. and Gene, with shorter hair, comes to see her. They're heading out one more time for adventure, in search of a chance to hit it big. After a second false alarm ending, we see the Outlaw Star being repaired in deep space. Gene and company re-enter the cockpit to find that Suzuka and Aisha came aboard with the repair vessel. Suzuka decides that while she's seen a lot of the galaxy, it might be more interesting with Gene. And Aisha wants to get paid back for all the times she's saved them."

Barda: "That was a fantastic show. Though Gene is still deep in debt, he's got a bright future ahead of him."
Several communicators start beeping. Everyone checks the readouts.
Ronnie: "Floronic Man in Keystone. Come on Jason, FIRESTORM!"

Billy: "Black Adam in Gotham. SHAZAM!"

Barda: "Parademons in Coast City."

Aquaman: "Flash is requesting aid with Captain Cold. Well, everyone. This was incredibly fun! What say we find some other material to watch and form some kind of Superhero Movie Club?"
All heads in the room nod before they head out to do battle.