The 3-6-5 Project

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #1 January 1st, 2006
Red Beard (1965)
directed by Akira Kurosawa

"Rashomon", "Seven Samurai", "Yojimbo". The collaborations between director, Akira Kurosawa and actor, Toshiro Mifune have proven to be true cinema classics. Presenting visual displays of storytelling at it's best. Their final film together, "Red Beard" or "Akahige" was no exception. Though while Kurosawa's themes of man's duality and grasping the small joys in life are present in the movie, "Red Beard" takes a much more mellow approach than his more famous samurai epics.

Based on Shugoro Yamamoto's novel of the same name and set in 19th century Japan, "Red Beard" is the story of a promising, young doctor named Noboru Yasumoto (Yuzo Kayama). After just finishing his medical studies in Nagasaki, Yasumoto returns to Edo with the intention of getting a cushy placement in the shogunate's medical staff, with the recommendation of his father, a doctor in high-standing with the government. First, however, he visits a rundown, free clinic for the poverished to simply pay respects to it's head doctor and old friend of his father's, Kyojio Niide (Toshiro Mifune), better known as Red Beard. Named as such for the uncommon tint of his beard.

Much to Yasumoto's shock, he was not called to the clinic for a mere visit but he has been assigned there as one of Red Beard's interns. Believing himself to be too good for such a filthy place, Yasumoto intially rebels by breaking all of the hospital's rules including refusing to wear a uniform. As well as lounging about in a garden that has been forbidden due to a beautiful but insane patient that has been isolated there. Noboru's character arc for this story is blatantly obvious within the first half-hour but this does not diminish the quality of his journey.

As the days become weeks and the weeks become months, Yasumoto learns that studying medicine and practicing medicine are two drastically different things. Noboro's eyes begin to open to the hardships that his patients must endure. The backstory for one patient in particular, the selfless Sahachi (Tsutomu Yamazaki) reaches into the souls of everyone in the town including our arrogant protagonist. In fact, the story of Sahachi's heartbreak and redemption sidetracks the film for a sizeable length of time, yet it is so engaging that it doesn't detract at all. Instead it's deviation gives "Red Beard" the feel of a great anthology.

The film could have very well ended at the 90-minute mark where Sahachi's story brings Yasumoto to begin to accept his placement at the clinic and still been very satisfactory. However the movie is only half-finished as the story moves onto Red Beard and Noboru's taking in a traumatized, 12-year-old girl who had been orphaned and left in a brothel where she had been abused. Taking Otoyo (Terumi Niki) out of the brothel leads to the solitary action sequence in the film as even when playing a more heldback character like Red Beard, Toshiro Mifune must remind us why he is not to messed with.

Following Red Beard's example, Yasumoto learns patience and empathy while trying to heal the mind of Otoyo as well as her physical ailments. During the course of this he too grows ill and the roles are reversed as the young girl nurses him back to health. Curing each other, leads to both curing themselves as well. As I mentioned earlier, the film's climax is quite predictable but the 3-hour journey was entrancing and entertaining, just the same.

The acting is excellent. One would expect no less from the late, Mr. Mifune and the rest of the cast was more that capable of keeping up. What was particularly enjoyable was the surprisingly great performances by the film's two child actors. The musical score was practically non-existent as Akira Kurosawa chose to let the acting and the visuals take care of mood setting all on it's own. Like many of Kurosawa's films, "Red Beard" is almost flawless in it's execution, ending up as yet another example as to why he was one of the greatest director's of all time.

A+

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #2 January 2nd, 2006
May (2002)
directed by Lucky McGee

This game is going to be even more challenging than I originally thought. "Red Beard" was easy to talk about, I loved that movie. I was certain that I loved it and so it was no task at all to say nice things about it. "May" on the other hand, I'm not so certain of my feelings for it. It bares a second viewing and more time in order to reflect upon it and gather my thoughts in it's regards. Alas, the rules for the 3-6-5 Project will not permit that. So I'll just have to make due.

Lucky McGee's "May" is a horror film in which it's title character falls into madness, caused by the despair of loneliness. Once May Canady (Angela Bettis) reaches her breaking point, she embarks on a one night killing spree to collect the body parts necessary to make the "perfect friend". Seems like straight-forward material for a slasher flick. The thing is, that's only the final act of the movie. The first two thirds of "May" are anything but a horror movie. In a way, it's just as stitched together as May's Frankenstein-esque doll.

In spite of a brief glimpse of things to come, the movie comes across a romantic comedy or at least a "dramady" at first. May is a quirky, introverted girl that works at an animal hospital. There's a cuteness to her awkwardness but at the same time, her peculiarities push people away as much as they draw them to her. Most of this stems from her lonely childhood as her lazy eye and the eccentricities of her mother made her an outcast. May desperately wants companionship but never developed the skills for social interaction.

May's other major issue is an obsession with the doll, her mother gave her as a child. A doll that she herself made to be her friend when she couldn't get any of her own as well. The doll however must never be removed from it's display case, lest it lose it's perfection. The tragic irony being that May has this one friend, a homemade doll and it's just as out of reach as the people in the world outside.

The romantic comedy part comes in when May is smitten by a mechanic and amateur filmmaker, Adam (Jeremy Sisto). More specifically his hands, which she finds absolutely beautiful. Adam finds May's weirdness to be intriguing at first as he has a curiosity in the abnormal. Unfortunately, the relationship is unable to flourish as Adam is just too normal to fully immerse himself into her world.

More attempts to break out of her shell and make friends ends in terribly for May. Including a bi-curious escapade with her co-worker, Polly (Anna Faris) who apparently has a neck to die for. Then there's the scene involving a room full of blind children and broken glass that is so over-the-top that in a demented way it could have almost been played for laughs in a Farrelly Brothers movie. All of this cultivates May's metamorphosis into a deranged killer.

As far as the acting goes, Angela did well in making May likeable and sympathetic as well as the psychotic. Unfortunately, the acting by some of the lesser characters left much to be desired. Anna Faris was sexy as Polly but her acting never came across as anything other that superficial. The actors that played several of May's other vicitms were also stilted. Bad acting isn't exactly uncommon in a horror movie, in fact it's sometimes part of the genre's charm. McGee's movie however seemed like it aspired to be more, so these lackluster performances couldn't hold.

Ultimately, I'm still not sure where I would place this movie. It was marketed as a horror but the film as a whole doesn't quite fit into that genre alone. It's not quite a horror/comedy like "Shaun of the Dead" either. I suppose it works best as viewed as a character study. On that front, Lucky McGee succeeded as May is certainly an intriguing character, thanks to no small part of Angela Bettis' performance.

B-

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #3 January 3rd, 2006
The Inspector General (1949)
directed by Henry Koster

A case of mistaken identity and hijinks ensue. Yet all I can muster is an apathetic "meh".

Danny Kaye brings his variety show antics to this film as Georgie. An illiterate gypsy conman who doesn't really have the heart to rip-off of the unfortunate. He gets mistaken for the emperor's inspector general by the crooked city council of corrupt town. A town of little relevance and seems to be a cross between Eastern Europe and France. The inspector general is an internal affairs of sorts for local governments so the mayor and his cronies first try to fake out the fake inspector. Then later, when they fear that they'll be reported to the emperor, they plot to kill him.

Throw in some slapstick and the sort of humor that Mel Brooks would perfect, years later. Add in the antics of Georgie's supposed best friend and conniving boss, Yakov (Walter Slezak). Mix in a token love interest in the form of Barbara Bates as Leza. It all combines into a movie that's not without it's charm at times but is more tedious than anything else.

There were a couple of musical numbers that I enjoyed. Danny Kaye was certainly likeable enough but I'm about twenty years too old to laugh at the humor of "The Inspector General". It's not a really bad movie, it would certainly suffice as a sunday afternoon, nothing-better-to-watch timekiller. There's just nothing spectacular here and I failed to find any interest in it.

C

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #4 January 4th, 2006
Thriller: A Cruel Picture (1974)
directed by Bo Arne Vibenius

Originally made in 1972, "Thriller: en grym film" wouldn't see a theatrical relase until two years later, in an edited form. Initially released in the U.S. as "They Call Her One Eye" and later re-released as "Hooker's Revenge", this Swedish exploitation film shocked audiences world-wide. That's not just the usual hyperbole either. The revenge movie features graphic violence and in this uncut version that I just viewed, hardcore pornography.

The movie starts off deceptively peaceful with a young girl being greeted by an old man in the park. It quickly takes a turn to the dark as the girl is raped. Years later Madeleine (Christina Lindberg) or "Frigga" in the English dubbed version, has become a mute due to her traumatic experience but otherwise has developed a normal life as a sweet farm girl. Her father gives her the day off but after she misses the bus to town, she hitchhikes a ride with Tony (Heinz Hopf). He subsequently drugs her and the depravity begins.

After getting her hooked on heroin, Tony uses Madeleine's newfound addiction to force her into prostitution. She fights it at first but once she claws the face of a would-be client, Tony retaliates by gouging out her eye with a scalpel. This is one of the most intense scenes of violence ever put on film. Thanks to a creative use of first-person perspective and a shot so realistic that it's become urban legend that an actual cadaver was used for it.

After losing her eye, Madeleine submits to Tony's arrangement. That changes after she discovers that her heartbroken parents have suicided. Then while she sells her body, she uses what limited freedom she has, to train and plot her revenge. The film then transitions frequently between the hardcore sex scenes and her training sequences involving martial arts, stunt driving and riflery.

Once she completes her training, Madeleine proceeds to bump off her clients, saving Tony for last. It's at this point, Madeleine becomes recognizable as Quentin Tarantino's inspiration for Elle Driver from the "Kill Bill" movies. Meanwhile, Tony starts sweating it and hires a couple of hitmen to set her up and the police are after her as well. This leads to an impressive action sequence that is done entirely in slow-motion.

A nonsensical car chase follows as the movie starts to get too involved in it's own splatter to care about logic anymore. Thus, the third act suffers from multiple plotholes and contrivances. Still, the final confrontation between victim and victimizer is well done, just the same. Tony's final fate is especially cruel and it couldn't have happened to a nicer sleazeball.

Although this is grindhouse fare, through and through. Bo Arne Vibenius gives the exploitation enough artistic merit to be respected as well as being simply enjoyed as a geekshow. Lastly, I just have to say that Christina Lindberg was absolutely beautiful. Her babyface and doe eyes give the Madeleine character, the much needed element of innocence to make the viewer sympathetic to her hardships and root for her, once the tables are turned.

B+

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #5 January 5th, 2006
Appleseed (2004)
directed by Shinji Aramaki

With it being based on the works of Masamune Shirow, "Appleseed" brings all that you would expect. Cyborgs, hard-nosed women with guns, powerful walking tanks, doublecrosses, political intrigue and philosophical debates on man's place in the world. The one thing missing is the complexity. It's much more action-oriented, so "Appleseed" feels like the big Hollywood cousin of the "Ghost in the Shell" franchise.

Utilizing C.G.I. effects, "Appleseed" combines near-photorealistic backgrounds with cel-shaded characters. This creates unique visuals that are incredible at times but in some moments, come across as a bad cutscene from a "Final Fantasy" game. I normally have a hard time liking C.G.I. cartoons but this one genuinely impressed me.

Deunan Knute (Ai Kobayashi) is a soldier, fighting for survival in a war that has actually long since ended. She finds herself cornered by unknown, cyborg assailants but is rescued ES.W.A.T., the special military force of Olympus. Olympus is a utopian city that stands high above the ruins of Earth. Though like all science-fiction, utopias are never what they seem.

Deunan's bodyguard is Briareos (Juurouta Kosugi). A former comrade-in-arms and former lover, who in the past two years since they've been seperated, had lost his body and was remade into a cyborg. The feelings between the two are still present but the question arises of whether or not love can exist beyond flesh and blood. There's also the issue of Briareos always seeming to know more about the mysteries going on, than what he's caring to admit to Deunan.

Our protagonist finds herself caught in a conspiracy to eliminate the artificial beings known as bioroids, that exist to preservse the existence of humanity and represent half the population of Olympus. As even though, the bioroids were created to protect man, many humans hold resentment to the power they hold over the city. Most notably, the hateful Hades (Takehito Koyasu) who like many of the power players involved, has a connection Deunan's past and the fate of her long-deceased parents.

Friends turn out to be foes and foes turn out to be friends as more secrets are revealed. Yet everything is still fairly straight-forward for this kind of story. Haruka Handa and Tsutomu Kamishiro's screenplay is certainly well done but it's just not as engaging as what was done with Mamoru Oshii's adaption of Shirow's manga works. The upside is that it's not as pretentious either.

B+

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #6 January 6th, 2006
Unbreakable (2000)
directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Better than "Spider-Man". Better than "X-Men". Even better than "Batman Begins". "Unbreakable" is my favorite superhero movie, period. Best of all, it was a superhero movie that didn't tell you it was one until it was over.

Of course that means that had you never seen it before, I just dropped a big spoiler on you. Oops.

After the runaway success of "The Sixth Sense", M. Night Shyamalan followed that up with this excellent piece. Unfortunately, while the more dedicated fanbase fell in love with "Unbreakable", it received a lukewarm reaction from casual audiences. Disappointed with it not being what they expected. Similar results would occur with "Signs" and "The Village".

This is due to most viewers expecting two things from a Shyamalan movie. The twist ending and the horror. Two things that Shyamalan movies are never really about. Though admittedly, he brings it on himself by catering to such expectations in each of the films' pre-release hype. What M. Night Shyamalan actually does with each of his movies is create an definite atmosphere. All of them have a rigid structure in the worlds in which they're set in. Rules are put in place for the audience to follow. Logic is used as far it can before it begins to hinder the story. There's not a single line of superfluous dialogue in any of the movies. Details have purpose. Thus even when something is predictable, one feels rewarded instead of bored by a cliché. "Unbreakable" is no exception.

David Dunn (Bruce Willis) is the sole-survivor a trainwreck, not only that but he is completely unscathed. Most would simply chalk that up to a miracle but Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson) believes it could actually be something more. Elijah suffers from a genetic disorder that results in his bones being extremely fragile and has spent a third of his life in hospitals with nothing to do but read comic books. He's sees the unbreakable David as his opposite and perhaps a key to him finding his purpose in life.

David is skeptical of Elijah's theories, that he may be something akin to the superheroes of the comics. Yet, he can't deny that his existence is an anomaly and it haunts him. He explores his past in hopes of finding an understanding and perhaps even an end to the deep sadness that has distanced himself from his wife and son. Additionaly, David's son Joseph (Spencer Treat Clark) believes Elijah Price is correct in what his father actually is. This leads to events that are less than pleasant.

After they come to an agreeable conclusion, Elijah sends David out, to use his gifts and test out the comic book theory. What follows is an amazing sequence that isn't spectacular because of a flashy fight, colorful action or popcorn dialogue but because it is completely devoid of such things. M. Night Shyamalan takes the outlandish notion of a superhero and treats as realistically as possible by relying on only it's base concept of good versus evil. Throwing away all of the superficial elements.

Then comes the twist ending, which was masterfully done even if it's not a twist at all. Afterall, considering the rules that the film has set in place. What happened, was the only outcome that could have occured.

I must also mention that the movie just wouldn't be the same without James Newton Howard's wonderful musical score. It beautifully captures David's ever-present sadness and Elijah's desperation. It then displays triumph to absolute perfection.

"Unbreakable" is a classic superhero story in disguise but it's more than that. It's also an exploration of man's need for identity, the search for the meaning of life. It is an exhibition of the lengths one will go to meet those needs.

A+

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #7 January 7th, 2006
His Girl Friday (1940)
directed by Howard Hawks

Loosely, based on the play, "The Front Page", Cary Grant stars as Walter Burns. The editor of a Chicago newspaper who will stop at nothing for a good story even at the cost of an innocent man's life. When his number one reporter and ex-wife, Hildy Johnson (Rosalind Russell) is leaving, to marry a life insurance salesman named Bruce Baldwin (Ralph Bellamy), he uses his cons and tricks to keep her.

Yet Hildy is no man's fool. She knows Walter better than anyone and so a game of human chess is played for the next hour and a half. To further complicate matters, a witless man, Earl Williams is about to be executed for shooting a police officer. It was an accident but because the police officer in question was black, the entire scandal has created such a political controversy that it will determine the results of the impending mayoral election. Much to the dismay of the corrupt mayor and his lackey sheriff.

After Earl breaks out of jail due to the sheriff's incompentance. Walter and Hildy find themselves with the story of the year. They just have to keep Earl hidden until after his scheduled execution. Easier said than done and chaos and hilarity ensues.

Cary Grant was hilarious as his comedic delivery was perfect. All the better that almost every one of his lines were quotable zingers, so many in fact that I'll have to watch this movie again someday just to catch them all. Rosalind was more than able to keep up, making the back and forth between the two a pure delight to watch. It wasn't just the stars, everyone from the mayor to the crew of hungry reporters had brought their A-game. Bringing together, a witty comedy thato delivered one funny line after another. Charles Lederer's screenplay is to be commended. As well Howard Hawks' decision to let the talented cast to cut loose and ad-lib.

A-

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #8 January 8th, 2006
The Ninja Dragon (1990)
directed by Gô Nagai

Within thirty seconds, we see a man rip another man's heart right out, with his barehands. It's immediately clear what kind of movie, Gô Nagai is going to give us. Which is no surprise, considering his resumé. He is best known for his work as a manga writer and artist, creating such staples as "Devilman", "Cutey Honey", "Kekko Kamen" and "Mazinger Z". He's one of the most influental men in the history of Japanese comics, he's also a shameless, dirty, old man.

"The Ninja Dragon" is one Nagai's few directorial contributions to cinema. To the best of my knowledge the only other live-action movie, he made was one about Japanese pro-wrestler, Jushin "Thunder" Liger. Not surprising with that being the case. For all his talent and imagination with manga, it didn't transfer to film making. "The Ninja Dragon" is nothing more than the straight-to-video, b-movie, splatterfest that it is.

With a total runtime of only 70 minutes, the plot is as straight-forward as they get. Ryu Momoji (Kenji Otsuki) is a ninja assigned to protect the daughter of a yakuza boss. When she gets kidnapped by a group of gangster monsters, Ryu summons his ninja allies Jun and Takeo. Then the trio proceed to slice and dice their way through hordes of creepy goons to rescue her.

The fighting is well choreographed and the gory special effects are as charmingly hokey as they come. You won't see any groundbreaking stunts here but it is entertaining just the same. There is a little treat in the form of Jun being played by none other than Cutie Suzuki. So we get a wrestling match, complete with the use of one of the silliest foreign objects to ever come into play in the faux-sport.

There's not much else to say really. It's a weak story, it has some decent action and lots of bad acting in both the original Japanese language and in the English dub. It's a dumb movie but it was fun too. It would be worthwhile to watch it with friends just so you could make fun of it together.

C+

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #9 January 9th, 2006
The Big Bounce (2004)
directed by George Armitage

Well that was kind of pointless.

With a cast consisting of Morgan Freeman, Owen Wilson and Vinnie Jones, one would expect something good. Especially when the movie in question is also based on a novel by Elmore Leonard. One would be wrong. Despite the packet's promise of a "twist-filled comedy caper", the plot was straight-forward and the laughs were infrequent. It's not even much of a caper but maybe I'm just spoiled on Steven Soderbergh films.

George Armitage delivers a rather pedestrian movie about a small-time con man named Jack Ryan (Owen Wilson). Well they claim he's a con man at any rate, he's really just a charming burglar. Anyway, he gets fired from his construction job and knocks out his ex-boss (Vinnie Jones) with a baseball bat. The charges are dropped as the owner of the would-be hotel, Ray Ritchie (Gary Sinise) and his lackey, Bob Jr. (Charlie Sheen) would just rather have him leave Hawaii. As the afformentioned baseball bat incident, won him favor with the Hawaiian natives, protesting the hotel's construction.

Jack is convinced to stay when the district judge, Walter (Morgan Freeman) hires him to work at the hotel, he owns on the side. Not to mention the attraction he has for Ray's mistress, Nancy (Sara Foster). Jack and Nancy hook up and she comes up with a plan to steal $200,000 from Ray but Jack is hesitant to work a gig that big, especially with so many people out to get him and everyone trying to run their own scam.

The film is well-acted, which is no surprise considering the cast. These guys could phone it in, which they probably did, and it would still be full of solid performances. I don't think Owen Wilson is even capable of playing an unlikeable character, so it's not hard to follow him through this. Sara Foster was fun to watch as well. Vinnie Jones is always great and Morgan Freeman is friggin' Morgan Freeman. So no complaints about the actors at all.

It's just a shame that there's no meat to the story to make it engaging. Then while there's a few good jokes that merit a chuckle, particularly Jack's sound reasoning when it comes to moments of violence. I just can't recall actually laughing out loud. Overall, "The Big Bounce" was just dull. It's really mind-boggling how they managed to get such an impressive cast for this. Except maybe, everyone just wanted an excuse to go to Hawaii. I have no problem with that but next time, please leave the cameras at home.

C

 

[Jedah Crow]

Movie #10 January 10th, 2006
Pot O' Gold (1941)
directed by George Marshall

George Marshall brings us, a musical comedy starring Jimmy Stewart as James Hamilton Haskel. A small town music clerk with a dying business. His rich Uncle Charlie (Charles Winninger), however wants him to be the heir to his health food empire. James relunctantly closes up shop and moves to the big city to work for his uncle but C.J. Haskel isn't exactly well liked in the community. He's bitter rivals with the matriarch of the music-loving McCorkle clan that lives next door to the health food factory.

During a public argument between Charlie Haskel and Ma McCorkle, James unwittingly throws a tomato at his uncle. Thanks to the encouragment of Molly McCorkle (Paulette Godard) a.k.a. the love interest. The tomato in C.J.'s face makes Jimmy the local hero and a welcomed guest to the McCorkle clan. Of course, they don't know that James himself is a hated Haskel. So in addition to keeping his real identity a secret from the girl of his dreams and her family, he also has to keep his uncle from finding out that he was behind the public embarassment.

The movie doesn't venture away from conventional territory but all the developments, however standard, are still well played. Jimmy Stewart is a natural when it comes to playing the milquetoast hero, thrown into events beyond his control. The musical numbers were mostly pleasant albeit the group of black tap dancers were a sour reminder of a different time. Overall, "Pot O' Gold" was a decent affair.

B-