Something That's Been Bugging Me About The Fishboys

[Jedah Crow]

We've all seen the Aquaman jokes over the years. How he's the biggest loser of the Super Friends because all he can do is talk to fish and such.

So how come no one ever makes wisecracks about Namor the Sub-Mariner? How did he manage to get some respect from the fanboys while Arthur gets dissed more times than Aaron Carter and Carrot Top put together?

Reasons why Namor is a bigger loser than Aquaman.

1. Talking to fish may be weak but at least it's something.

2. "Sub-Mariner" is a lamer name than "Aquaman".

3. He has a receding hairline.

4. He has goofy looking elf ears.

5. He wears speedos.

6. He always loses the girl to frickin' Mr. Fantastic! I don't care if Reed does have those stretching powers, he's such a cold fish (pun intended) that you know he never actually uses them in a way that Sue could really "appreciate" them.

7. Aquaman at least gets to be bitchboy for the likes of Superman and Batman. Namor's crew consists of Dr. Strange and Silver Surfer. Oh sure Namor also hangs around the Hulk but that gets offset by the fact that team has a Vincent Price impersonator and a shiny naked dude on a surfboard.

In short, Namor is the bigger dork (pun intended). So while I enjoy a good Aquaman joke as much as the next nerd, how about we at least mix the fishcracks up a little bit?

 

[Judge Faiz]

Namor used to always wage war against us land lovers, where as Aquaman (at least the older incarnation) did not.
Aquaman was pretty much a guy from land who could survive in water & talk to fish.
Namor was a guy in water who could survive on land...and also talk to fish.

Both are pretty lame, at least to me, but Namor was always much more of a badass than Aquaman was...that is until DC decieded to update Aquaman so he wasn't such a wuss.

-RF

 

[Akiyama]

pffft. the defenders are freakin lame. look at how often they're mocked in twisted toyfare theater.