Let's save FangireQueen's wedding!

[FangireQueen]

While Kura may have had logic, I hate to tell y'all that the angry people are right. Even though they didn't know the full situation, they were indeed right. The people who were the most hot blooded about this already knew the situation fully.

The man was shall we say "highly important" (we're in a city of big money makers). He was demanding the venue out of his own personal feel of importance (the venue's words not mine). He wanted to hold a fancy dinner party and could not care less that it was our wedding. His company has a substantial investment in the other properties the venue runs, so when he's forcing money at them and essentially strong arming them, they had no choice but to put the pressure on us. What he did was INDEED underhanded. He had little to no regard for someone else's situation because it was what HE wanted and he wanted it NOW.

Needless to say I found out who the guy is, and no I won't reveal it (too many people here would probably try to find him ). I am not going to cause a mess with him because yes, he is a very big time player where we live, and it's best to not cause more drama than he already caused.

We've had the venue since the beginning of December, a fact that they reiterated to this guy MULTIPLE times. But when they could not produce a signed contract (because we were on agreement with them to pay the deposit at the end of THIS month) the guy began to pressure them hard.

What he did WAS underhand. Some people didn't know all this and some did, but that's why I didn't stop anyone in hating him. He did something wrong, and while i'm not going to cause a fight over it to save my own hide, I don't mind if others want to vent about the shitty situation he caused for us.

Also in the "get a loan" department that was impossible for 3 reasons:
1) Bad credit on my behalf (mom thought giving me a credit card way back in high school was a good idea -_-)
2) LT does not have a local bank here, therefore has nothing established here. And I can't get him added to my account until I can get my driver's license renewed (whole bunch of crap litigation with my divorce hasn't gotten me the official name change paper so I haven't been able to do this yet. Driver's license is in maiden name, but SSN is in old married name. This means I can't renew my license until I have the papers to change my SSN back).
3) Loans can take up to 3 to 4 days to go into effect; time we did not have.

Only other option in that department was to get a title loan on the car, which we'd looked into previously and due to my bad credit and LT not being at his job up here for a minimum of 8 months got us denied.

So before you try to be the voice of reason, there were a lot of factors that we did not post out of it being highly personal. However, i'm choosing to post them now to prevent any further confusion or assumptions about our situation.

 

[Kura]

Well then I guess it's my bad for calling out the people who ranted off on him and knew what was going on. That is pretty much an underhanded move from that other guy. But for those who didn't exactly know, I still think they should be feeling bad for you guys (because we all love you!), but not sooo outwardly hate on the guy if they didn't know what exactly went on.

FQ.. did you know that this guy had been kinda pushing from before? Because obviously you can't have known what'd end up happening, but perhaps this is a good life lesson for next time just to keep some emergency money at all times. Or bring it up with whatever you're dealing with so the opposition doesn't get the "upper hand" next time..


Either way, personally, I'm worried about your financial situation.. because to be planning all of this and yet not allow yourself room for such emergency money I find to be pretty risky. I understand bills were high this month but I personally believe you should have at least a good chunk in the bank tucked away in case anything major ever happened. But that's just me and I'm a saver, not a spender.
Obviously you can't make that much money in a heartbeat because there are living expenses and whatnot.. but you two will be starting your lives together and I just want to make sure it's a comfortable one where you never have to run into a situation such as this.

Random question, but do you have a wedding planner? Or are you both doing all the planning or getting your maid of honor and best man to help you with it?
I'm just curious. Cause planning it out all yourselves seems SUPER hard and crazy stressful. But saves the bucks in the end!

My bad also about the loan. Didn't know it'd be that much trouble. Hopefully everything turns out in your favour. Good luck!

 

[FangireQueen]

Well then I guess it's my bad for calling out the people who ranted off on him and knew what was going on. That is pretty much an underhanded move from that other guy. But for those who didn't exactly know, I still think they should be feeling bad for you guys (because we all love you!), but not sooo outwardly hate on the guy if they didn't know what exactly went on.

FQ.. did you know that this guy had been kinda pushing from before? Because obviously you can't have known what'd end up happening, but perhaps this is a good life lesson for next time just to keep some emergency money at all times. Or bring it up with whatever you're dealing with so the opposition doesn't get the "upper hand" next time..


Either way, personally, I'm worried about your financial situation.. because to be planning all of this and yet not allow yourself room for such emergency money I find to be pretty risky. I understand bills were high this month but I personally believe you should have at least a good chunk in the bank tucked away in case anything major ever happened. But that's just me and I'm a saver, not a spender.
Obviously you can't make that much money in a heartbeat because there are living expenses and whatnot.. but you two will be starting your lives together and I just want to make sure it's a comfortable one where you never have to run into a situation such as this.

Random question, but do you have a wedding planner? Or are you both doing all the planning or getting your maid of honor and best man to help you with it?
I'm just curious. Cause planning it out all yourselves seems SUPER hard and crazy stressful. But saves the bucks in the end!

My bad also about the loan. Didn't know it'd be that much trouble. Hopefully everything turns out in your favour. Good luck!

Answering in order...

I agree that some of the blind hate wasn't needed. However I was suppressing my own acting out of hatred, so I didn't halt anyone's thoughts.

The guys hadn't been pushing them at all before. He literally showed up Tuesday starting the fight, and by Wednesday we were forced with the decision to have the money by Friday. It was such a whirlwind we had no idea what happened. The venue we got isn't really a hugely "sought after" venue. It's not that it's bad, it's just an old train depot round house. It's big and empty. But for US it had charm and was cheap, thus why we rented it. The place even never anticipated someone wanting it as well.

Our money situation isn't as bad as it seems, however bulk amounts like this on such short notice were the problem. Our families are helping to pay for the wedding, and since it's Do-It-Yourself the costs are MAJORLY spread out. My dress is even being made by my old boss who's just letting me make payments to her. LT is on commission and makes good money. I don't make super great money but I make about $100 every week at my job, then I also do Avon sales on the side. So we're good on money, just a sudden amount like this was impossible for us.
We have even been smart enough to find a house that will end up being $200/month CHEAPER than our current condo. Our condo's also falling apart and the landlord refuses to fix anything til it's broken (like when our rusty hot water heater exploded -_-) The house is also a 3 bedroom 2 bath, which means it's one we can stay in for MANY years with room for future children to grow as well. We did a lot of thinking on what will be best for us long term and have a lot set up.

I've been a convention planner for 9 years plus I have OCD (the real kind, not the casual "LOL I'M OCD" kind), so I don't think i'd be able to have a wedding planner XD I'd wind up becoming a bridezilla on her because a wedding planner would've never seen Kamen Rider Kiva and would have no idea of the things we want to do. One of my bridesmaids who lives down the street has been getting together with me to work on stuff twice a week. This weekend we're probably going to start making the centerpieces (72 cents/each vases with different forms of Kiva's helmet painted on it; dogga, emperor, bashaa, garuru, etc, with different colored fake roses inside. The wedding is just a lot of little details as opposed to anything that needs big time planning. Hell, our biggest roadblock right now is finding someone who can play the violin LOL

Yeh trust me if loans were easy we'd have this whole thing paid for already. However there's so many miles of red tape that it's ridiculous. My credit is the part I hate the most. One shitty credit card at 18, and after that I've never paid any of my bills late EVER, yet I still have a shiiiiiiiiiiiiitty credit score. It's ridiculous. However, once I get direct deposit, when I hit full time, I'll be able to do payday advance loans which will help.

Thank you for your well wishes, and I'm sorry again that our situation wasn't explained. I hope you can understand why we initially didn't. LunaTrigger and I are usually really private people about financial matters. I never asked for this money from everyone. I was prepared to just say goodbye to my wedding dreams and learn to compromise. The fire was from my dear friend Undrave who started this thread. I didn't tell him, nor ask him, to do it. This is why I'm truly shocked and humbled by it all. We could have gotten by somehow, but friends wanted to give us what they felt we deserved. And for that I'm eternally grateful.

I will make sure to post lots of progress pics so you guys can see how it's coming together. After looking at all the arts and crafts stores, you'd really be surprised how far you can stretch a dollar.

 

[Raida|23]

-CUT-
Needless to say I found out who the guy is, and no I won't reveal it (too many people here would probably try to find him ). I am not going to cause a mess with him because yes, he is a very big time player where we live, and it's best to not cause more drama than he already caused.
-CUT-

if you think about the "many people here would probably try to find him", you'll see that's pretty scary. Like a lot

Also, if this guy is as you say he is, I fear this could not be the right thing to do. People like that sometimes do not like to have things not going how they want. Sometimes they can be vindictive [personal experience, and it wasn't someone out of the family like in your case, it was a strict parent], so while I hope nothing's gonna happen, be aware of him. You never know.

 

[FangireQueen]

if you think about the "many people here would probably try to find him", you'll see that's pretty scary. Like a lot

Also, if this guy is as you say he is, I fear this could not be the right thing to do. People like that sometimes do not like to have things not going how they want. Sometimes they can be vindictive [personal experience, and it wasn't someone out of the family like in your case, it was a strict parent], so while I hope nothing's gonna happen, be aware of him. You never know.

I meant that part as more of a joke.

And I am indeed very aware of him. The venue made it up to him though by offering him one of their nicer facilities for less than what he would've paid for mine, so I think he won't be a problem

 

[Raida|23]

Good

Now go back workin on your wedding, we're waitin for it to happen ^__^

 

[FangireQueen]

Good

Now go back workin on your wedding, we're waitin for it to happen ^__^

Hehe! I'll post pics. Especially once we finish the vases this week! Painting so many Kiva helmets

I still need to make the invitations, but I can't find a really good clean quality pic of Kivat

 

[djmon25]

good enough?

 

[FangireQueen]

good enough?

Oh snap thanks! When I searched I found this pic but tiiiiny. *hugs* Yay! Now i can begin making invitations!

 

[Undrave]

Kura my hot-bloodedness scoffs at your logic :laugh:

I think I'll take back any negative comments I might have made toward the venue managers. Its obvious they were stuck between a rock and a hard place too, but they knew how important it was to you guys so they managed to work a compromise to give you a fighting chance. They could have just take the guy's money and let you guys hang to dry so they showed a certain ammount of principle.

The fact that the guy only wanted to organize a fancy dinner and deemed THAT more important than YOUR precious day... it makes me just as filled with rage and indignation as before! Probably more.

I never asked for this money from everyone. I was prepared to just say goodbye to my wedding dreams and learn to compromise. The fire was from my dear friend Undrave who started this thread. I didn't tell him, nor ask him, to do it. This is why I'm truly shocked and humbled by it all. We could have gotten by somehow, but friends wanted to give us what they felt we deserved. And for that I'm eternally grateful.

Aww :anime: it was nothing really! I just gave a 50 and put up some nifty rethoric. The rest was up to the gang, and they really pulled through :anime:

It just felt so wrong to let it slide... I went with what was in my nature and defended my friends. Every fiber of my body was telling me this was something worth fighting for.