I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
So this is kind of inspired by ZX and Akibaranger and who knows what else. I decided to turn my handle into an actual character. He is a podcaster and dream world Rider (Akiba). He starts off bad and finally becomes good (ZX). Here is the opening "Narration"

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramble, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.

The story will be 12 chapters and is halfway through as of this posting.

Concept art

Please leave comments, suggestions and requests. I want the feedback!!!! It's a win-win: I become a better writer and you get to read cooler Karate Bug Man stories.

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I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez Chapter 1: Stirring Darkness

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramble, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.


In the soft glow of the computer, he sat and browsed, created new folders and chased download links. It was late, but that was ok, he had work to do and was kept company by the megasode playing in he’s ears. Unfortunately the time was running out, but he still wanted to hear more. After the outro he kept working for a few moments, until he realized the next show wasn’t starting.

Auto-play is off? He unlocked his phone confirming his suspicion, and saw that if he wanted to listen to more people talking about guys in rubber suits, he would have to select what was becoming one of his least favorite options.

“Why not just call it the no editing show?†he pushed play anyway, and smiled at the intro song, at least that’s always good, he thought. As the show wore on, he was shocked by how behind everyone was in their viewing, but enjoyed hearing about some good episodes again, especially after the mid-season change up made him nostalgic for the second arc. Then it happened, a barely audible guest host was being stopped all over by a torrent of crude humor from one of the other hosts. The frivolous was drowning out the relevant, who was hard enough to hear already. He stood up quickly, slamming laptop shut and sending chair rolling. Matthew threw his headphones down in disgust. This is the last time, he thought to himself, letting out a sigh that carried on it the wisps of hate roiling within him. He was frustrated.

“Does no one care about Kamen Rider?†he muttered to himself. “How can you host a show about Kamen Rider and barely talk about it? I want to hear about the show, not your ludicrous banter, or these silly tangents!†The weight of his complaints seemed to bear down between tensing shoulder blades as he held himself up on the desk as if the pressure he applied could move the hosts to his will.

That day something snapped. Was it the unanswered emails, the ignored tweets, or was it the darkness he had tried to rid himself of long ago? That darkness he had embraced as a young boy was supposed to be the proof of concept he would demonstrate to the world showing that black, that darkness was not the same as evil. That experiment had failed. He had reformed himself and forever replaced the darkness with light. Perhaps he hadn’t. Perhaps he had been right at first, proving the prescience of adolescent wisdom.

“They must be stopped! Some one must make them pay! How can they be punished?†Desperate for an answer he opened his laptop and began to peck away furiously.

“k-a-m-e- n-n-n-†He tapped harder at the key nub that was where the N should have been. “Oh, cat! How you make my life difficult. Ok, let’s try that again.†he paused for a moment, “n-n -â€N!†Matthew picked up the laptop and was about to throw it, but he for a moment and realized how out of control he was. He took a deep breath, set it down and rolled his chair back into position. Slumped in the chair he shut his eyes to clear his head.

“Awaken!†a rough voice called out nearly startling him out of his chair. “Penalize!â€

Matthew opened his eyes and saw on his computer screen a blinking green light. Peering more closely as it continued he studied it and listened. “You who seeks justice. Know this: the feeble minded are polluting the world! They can not be allowed to persist. If you are worthy, I will give you the power to pass judgment on those who profane Kamen Rider!â€

Matthew realized the blinking light indeed was on his computer screen, it was not an image. He swallowed any doubt and reached out to touch the beacn. He steeled himself saying, “For great Justice.â€
I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez Chapter 2: Pursuit

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramble, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.




Lightning arced from the beacon, enveloping him in a sensation that seemed to be a cross between the endless pin pricks of a waking limb and the ceaseless boiling of a sunburn. He shut his eyes, wincing in anguish, and when they opened again in the throes of agony the energized web spreading over his body burned into his retina the shape of each sinister thread.

What is this? He thought. His mind felt like it was panting, unable to catch enough breath to formulate anything but the most simple thought. Any questions were freed from his mind like the oxygen torn from water in electrolysis. The heat and pain made his brain feel like a mush of barely viscous goop which sloshed back and forth as he tried to stand, throwing him off balance as he instinctively tried to pull away from the light on his screen. He was stuck. It was if the light were a super-compacted star whose gravity had trapped him. His body still flailed as it at once was assaulted by the seemingly unending torrent and adrenaline rushed fruitlessly to free him from his luminescent chains.

And then, with the torque of potential energy stored in his legs, he arched back in a final attempt to get away and as if that star had never been there he leaped free.

Or was thrown.

He fell, relieved by the thud that told him he was still alive. Gasping for air, that precious oxygen he had felt leave him, he clutched at his chest as if beckoning the molecules would hasten their entrance into bronchioles and red blood cells. As breath came more easily and the static in his head began to clear, Matthew relaxed, his hands falling to his sides. The floor was cool. And dirty.

“What is this?†he asked aloud as he rubbed something loose and granular in between his fingers. It had gotten under his nails. He clutched at the floor, which he realized wasn’t the floor at all. He opened his eyes, but could only see the dancing arcs that were still some time from fading away. He blinked but they remained, burning as they dissipated. Fear over took him as he realized he wasn’t at home. He was somewhere outside and he wasn’t alone.

“Who’s there?†He called out to the unknown in a raspy whisper, then tried again, “I know someone is there! I heard you.†He managed to get his voice to a timbre concealing his panic within a few syllables.


Matthew froze as a flurry of thoughts carried on the cool wind stood his hair on end. With a faint scent and the distinct weight of a glare on his back, he knew he was not alone. Before he could plan an escape or imagine who or what was watching him, soft footfalls sent a reason shattering shiver through him.

The snarl from behind was answered by a deep growl. The growler ran passed, pushing him down as it pounced on the snarling beast. Snarls, growls and yelps filled the air, accompanied by the muffled sounds of what had to be fangs piercing fur and flesh, Matthew thought, as he listened to the pair as he curled into a ball on ground.

“I’m I next?†he grimly asked himself, choked by tears and the thought that soon more than a lump would be in his throat. Off a few feet, he heard a final whimper from one of them followed by the victor’s heavy breathing. He waited a minute, then slowly opened his eyes. The painful blue-white web was almost completely gone. He deliberately began to relax his limbs, starting with hands and forearms that had guarded his neck and head. He looked up and met the gaze of a white wolf. He felt drawn to stand. Moments later the wolf turned. It paused after a few steps and it looked back at him.

“Did I summon him?†Matthew wondered to himself as he followed. Periodically he would reach out to the wolf or start to speak to it, but couldn’t.

When they reached a moonlight clearing, the wolf turned towards him once more. It stared for a long time. As his discomfort grew he looked from side to side and noticed that there were pathways leading from the opening. Matthew reached out to the wolf and was met by fangs bearing down on his hand.

“What!?†he cried out shocked, “I thought you were here to help me!†He tried to pull away adding to the damage down by his would be ally. As the beast began to add even more pressure, bones began snapping and Matthew desperately kicked at his assailant’s chest. The futility sunk in after a few blows only seemed to increase his suffering. He let out a shrill cry and grabbed the wolf’s ear, his thumb reaching into it trying to do whatever he could to get away. Locked in a stalemate, he used his only remaining weapon: his teeth. First he tried the ear he held, when that seemed to have no effect he went for the eye and was certain he at least nicked it when the wolf relented a bit. He grunted and huffed and felt a rush as he continued his assault. The wolf let go and backed up a bit.

“Whose prey now?†Matthew shouted wild-eyed and swelling with feral pride.

The wolf answered a low growl that reverberated through his chest.

I guess I am! Matthew thought to himself as he sprinted away, his momentary dominance replaced by dread that sent him running down one of the paths branching out from the clearing. Somehow he was getting away, perhaps the wolf’s eye had been hurt enough to give it trouble. A building lay ahead of him. Despite fatigue he maintained pace and had soon barricaded himself, in what had to be a barn, and rested against the makeshift anti-intruder system.

I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez Chapter 3: Escape

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramble, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.



He seemed to be alone at last. His only company was the pounding of his heart. Matthew’s bracing of himself against the door slowly turned into him resting on the door and then slumping away from the door asleep.

He opened his eyes and looked around. Bars of light coming through the not quite finished roof, lay across his body and illuminated the dust filled air.

“So I’m in a barn now?†He asked himself, sitting up to fully take in his surroundings. Matthew stood up and looked up. “Yee=haw, I suppose.†He walked around the perimeter to see what his options were.

“What happened?†he started a loud, “I was home. I got zapped, and then a wolf tried to eat me, and now?†He held his hands up as if beckoning the answers to fall into his arms. Then he had an idea.

“Disembodied voice!†he called out.


Does it have to come through a screen? He wondered and pulled out his phone. No flickering, no flashing, nothing out of the ordinary.

“I want to punish those who profane Kamen Rider!†Maybe that will work, he thought.

Do I want that? That doesn’t sound very nice, or reasonable. He felt unsettled as his feelings shifted dramatically from where they had been when he spoke with the disembodied voice. He didn’t want to upset who or whatever had, possibly, put him here.

The screen went blank, as the phone went to sleep. Then from behind him he heard a slow persistent grind. He turned around and saw hay dancing about as it shifted and fell. He cautiously walked over to inspect, and saw a cellar door had opened. He descended slowly, in no mood to encounter further danger. He tried to steady his way by placing his hand on the wall and grimaced as he was reminded of the tiny snapped bones in his hand. he shifted the burden to his left hand and continued down the dimly light shaft. As he proceeded the flight gave way to an earthen floor. He could smell the cool damp rock.

“A cave?†he paused and pulled out his phone again to get a better view and glimpsed stalactites above with the faint light cast from the screen.

In the distance he heard the slightest sound, and froze to strain his ears. He tepidly moved forward, curious about what lay ahead, but concerned he would be an unwelcome guest. Advancing in spurts, he soon came to hear the oscillating sound of machines, light spilled from the room they were in. He slowed down even more, wanting to peek into the room undetected. The room was full of medical and laboratory looking equipment. Large tubes filled with liquids of various color and robotic arms complete with tools for cutting and searing. Their was a series of schematics on wall mounted monitors of what looked like a Kamen Rider, though not one he had ever seen.

“G? I’ve never seen him. What is all this?†He whispered to himself.

It seemed the lab was empty so he entered, wary of his surroundings. Matthew looked at screens and status sheets, and saw nothing he could understand. He began to sweat. The machinery was producing a lot of heat. His concentration broke when he realized that there were operating tables in the room too. Huge armed-lamps hung from the high ceiling like snakes poised to strike. Suddenly steam shrieked from one of the liquid filled tubes, startling Matthew. He shook his good hand as if to schluff away the jitters and turned his attention to a slight groove in the floor. It lead to a metal door.

“What has been dragged, and in what direction?†Matthew wondered aloud, the words came slowly as his mind raced to imagine the horrible possibilities of what happened to the creatures brought to and from the operating tables. His ears perked as again he heard something. He placed his ear on the door and a howl, no, a groan met it there; a wave of fear rippled from his ear. Washing over his body, it filled his heart with a terrifying certainty that the groan would soon be his. As he backed away from the door it opened with an inefficient ferocity that seemed it would break itself. Out of the door came a screaming darkness knocking him to the ground.

The door to the hallway slammed shut trapping the darkness so that it swirled overhead. He jumped up covering his face and started for the still open door and it snapped closed like a starving beasts jaws. The disorienting cacophony sent him towards the nearest computer terminal. He methodically began flicking switches and turning nobs hoping they would somehow make it stop. The serpentine operating table lights shined an ill-looking white light and jerked menacingly about; bladed articulated robot arms and their heated counterparts flailed wildly as well. He began working backwards until only the lights shined revealing the screaming darkness.The scream was a chorus of chirps and the fluttering of thousands of thin leather wings. He had always like the idea of bats. He had never understood the typical fear people felt when thinking of them. They had their part in nature just like spiders, another all too maligned creature, but this was different. In the flesh he found that he was no different from the people he had silently chided for being grossed out or afraid of the flying devils that surrounded him. He was simultaneously repulsed and terrified.


With nowhere to run his body took over, tapping at switches in a random array that became progressively more successful with each failure. The shell shock had worn off, it had been no more than the ignition sputtering as his mind and body kicked into a higher state. They were one and together nothing could stop them. There was no panic. There was no distraction. There was singular focus. Success! The clenched maw that had vomited the bats was now open.


Riding on the rush of adrenaline, Matthew ran to the door and leaped through it. He effortlessly glided up the rocky paths of the cave. Several turns later and almost out of breath he saw the sun reflecting in a pool of water. It was his way out! He was so excited by the sight of his freedom that he had no concern for what was on the other side of the wall. With a victory holler, he jumped into the water which was surprisingly deep. Taken aback, but anxious to get out, he pressed on. What he didn’t see was the large creature sitting in the water near the entrance. He was bleeding, and it was hungry. As he neared the hole, he thought to himself “Free at last!â€


The alligator’s grasp was inescapable. Matthew tried to struggle. The result was a quick death roll.
I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez Chapter 4: Zeal

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramble, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.


He shifted and stirred as the sound of his alarm clock blared incessantly from miles away. He wasn’t bothered by that though, it was the cold that roused him from sleep.

“Where are my blankets?†he murmured to himself and groped for a minute. “On the floor?†he groaned. There is nothing worse than being mostly asleep and cold with nothing for cover in reach, he thought deep in slumber’s stupor. A gentle sigh of resignation later he struggled to open his eyes. It was so dark. He sat up and peered into the darkness waiting for his eyes to adjust. They were so heavy.

“What weird dreams.†he half-yawned. “Kept me busy all night long I guess.†He sat for another minute waiting. And then he remembered, “Yes, blankets.†He started to reach but realized that his hand was numb.

He smiled to him self. “Some wolf?†He continued but the floor was no longer in his reach as it should have been. He almost fell out of the bed. He was just bringing himself back into upright position when he was surprised by a flashing green light up on the wall. He lurched forward incredulously.

“Penalize! Awaken!†the rough voice from his dream called out.

“Am I dreaming? Who are you?†Matthew spilled out of a bed that was not his own. Growing ever more disoriented he leaned against the hard bed, its compacted mattress was that of the operating table he had seen in his dream. Was it a dream?

“Penalize!†it called out again. Matthew nearly grew dizzy from the steady blink as it oscillated and strobed.

“Penalize who?†Matthew demanded.

“You are Penalize, if you so desire.†the voice clarified.

“Who would be punished? What for?†Matthew felt ready to run again, but probed further.

Matthew averted his eyes from the light as he listened. He lowered his head and saw tooth marks on his legs and arms. He was riddled with punctures and dried blood stained his skin. As he prodded the wounds that looked so severe yet did not hurt he realized that his hand was nearly crushed. Nearly immobile and numb he could see bones broken and misplaced.

“The feeble-minded who attacked you here. They profane by mockery and carelessness. They fail to venerate what you call justice!â€

“But where am I?â€

“You have entered Monopsyche.â€

He couldn’t feel it, but his legs shook, his whole body even. As he looked up at the searing light it began to dance in his field of vision. He caught himself from falling and lay on the operating table.

“What’s happening to me?†he struggled to ask.

“Their agents attacked you.†the rough voice said flatly. “I brought you here,†it continued more smoothly “to save you.â€

As he lay there shaking violently, from one side of the table to the other arced metal bands. They helped him to stay on the bed. Relieved he loosened up a bit, feeling free from the fear of falling and growing tired from the spasms and the nearly ceaseless chain of events that had led to this moment.

“I chose you to punish them. You came here to gain passage to them and fight them, but the forces of injustice move swiftly! The creatures that came to stop you have poisoned your body with mediocrity, confusion, incoherence and tangential toxicity! Soon,†the voice paused for a moment as if to give him a respite “you will die.â€

“Nooooo!†as he began to rise, the bands tightened. He persisted. It took so much to just sit up, but he would not be idle. He strained to push against the straps and yelled “Rage, rage against the dying of the Light! I will not go quietly!†he couldn’t speak further, he tried, but he was losing grasp of cogency. His last words would be screams and cries unintelligible to even himself.

“Thomas?†The voice asked through a smile. “There is a way to save you.â€


“And you can seek revenge, no, justice for the beasts who did this.â€

“Yes! Help me!†his scream edged with glee at the thought of executing justice against his tormentors. They had started with their inferior podcasting, by being fools, speaking with out knowledge, not staying on topic, and now -

He cried out one last time. He could feel again. The pain had been blocked, but now he clenched his left hand full of floating bone fragments to call away attention from every tooth puncture from the alligator’s jaws.

The bands tightened pushing him flush against the table, its semi-soft padding was warm. It cradled him as the cold steel stopped him from moving. The shining serpent from above sprung to life and struck coming close to him so quickly and shining so brightly that soon he couldn’t see anything save the fading image of the schematic. As he resigned himself to the pain and the blindness he felt the articulated robot arms working busily. They cut and seared and burned.

The voice of his savior filled his ears. “Matthew, here in the Monopsyche you are connected to the world as it sleeps. I am giving you the power to crush the walls of the heart and mind. You will enter the minds of your nemeses and judge them! Each is being manipulated by a monster only you can defeat. These men are sick, they have become twisted by the evil that they have let attach to themselves. You will destroy the Beasts and imprison their sinful half. They will be purged of their iniquity by your hand, and no longer will they continue to profane Kamen Rider!†Matthew hung on every word and drew strength from the exhortation. As each word was spoken he became more complete. And he was.

Matthew opened his eyes. The world had a slight red tint to it. The serpentine light still shined, but it didn’t hurt. His pain was gone, so was his fatigue. He wanted to get up, so he did. He simply rose and the steel bands that had constrained him tore like foil. He closed his eyes and shifted to step off the bed.

With a smirk, he turned to the flashing light and said, “One moment, please.â€

He walked to the door and opened it. He grabbed a lab coat that was on the computer terminal next to the door and ran barefoot to the alligator’s pool.

He waded into the water and waited for a moment.

A ripple.

It had moved ever so slightly, but he could tell. Matthew crouched and lounged toward it throwing a few rocks he had picked up from the floor. They hit their target, snapping closed its deadly jaws. He grabbed its snout to keep it from opening and it began rolling furiously to shake him. After a few spins, a light flashed from underwater and Matthew was transformed into a red-eyed helmet and armored suit. The alligator turned to face him again, its massive tail hitting him in the process. The two paused for a moment, the alligator’s jaw hung open anticipating a strike. Matthew’s gloved hands mimicked his foe’s positioning, he was ready too.

Imperceptibly fast they struck. His knuckles almost touched, but he held the jaws apart. He stepped forward in the shallow water and spread his hands. Another step, still further. And another. And another. With a quick snap it was over.

He returned to the operating room and stood before the flashing beacon.

“I Penalize, I am Justice!†He clenched his fists, holding the left to his side and saluting with the right, as he looked up at the beacon. “I am ready to serve.â€

“Good!†The voic chuckled this time. “Good. But first go and rest. I will call you when the time is right. You have struck out a first victory against the unjust.†The light faded. And so did Matthew, he lied down on the table.

I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez Chapter 5: Plot

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramble, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.


Matthew woke up on the floor. Flat on his back. Arms and legs spread as if he had just fallen unconscious there. He wondered for a moment just what had happened. Then wondered what day it was. It was dark outside, but was it the darkness of early morning or the next evening, he wondered. Sitting up, he put his hand to his face and felt cold metal teeth where beard and cheek should have been. It was the crusher on his helmet! He pulled his hand away to look at it and verify that he had henshined, but nothing was there. Just the five fleshy digits that were always there. He sprang up and ran to he bathroom to see the helmet, but the light revealed that there was no helmet either. Matthew ran back to the laptop to see the beacon, struggling to reconcile what he remembered with what he was seeing. A dream within a dream is hardly easy to rely upon. Back at the desk, the laptop lay closed and the power appeared to be off. He opened it up half expecting to see the beacon, but again there was nothing there. No trace. He remembered that he had didn’t know what time it was and looked a the microwave to see the time.

“Just past midnight, and I’m wide awake. Wait,†he pulled out his phone to check what day it was. “Great! Monday! I guess it’s to bed then?â€

He went to bed, but lay awake for some time reflecting upon what had happened or what he had dreamed. He couldn’t figure out which it was, but was ready to dismiss the ludicrous nature of what he was contemplating actually had happened. As the bonds of sleep grew heavier, a nagging thought caught his attention: Wasn’t it Saturday night when I was listening to RTD? And that lead to another: What did I do all day Sunday, before I slept? Exhaustion patched up the holes in his reasoning and let him sleep. It was a rough night.

The next day he awoke late, groggy and ravenous.

Matthew went about the next few days waiting for something to happen, though he tried to be skeptical. He tried to convince himself that nothing had happened and as the days increased from the night of the incident so did his assurance that it was only a dream.

“A dream, eh?†Matthew asked himself as he sat watching an episode of Black. “Was the Tapir mutant screwing with me?†He wondered for a moment and pushed the thought aside. “I’m nobodies brother!†he chuckled to himself and sat back to enjoy the rest of the episode.

Afterwards, he unlocked his phone to see what the buzz that almost interrupted him was. Doggcatcher was running. New episodes. He scrolled through and saw the latest toku-cast. He let out a sigh. Ramblin’ Toku Dude.

“I hope you’ve fixed your audio level issues!†Matthew sneered at the host’s proxy he held in his hand. He squeezed it for a few moments with ever increasing pressure until he caught himself. He put it down and hit play. The theme song was great, sometimes the only redeeming part.

Minutes into the show there was an audio issue. He was on the cusp of anger but he stopped himself.

“Get even.†he spat the venom and reached for a pad and pen.

“Time to count up your sins!†he began to write furiously all the affronts the host and co-hosts made. First he noted their inaccurate recall of the episodes they were discussing and then he focused on each of their flaws as a podcaster. Something came over him as he worked. He paused and set other shows to download. He wanted to record all of their transgressions. He wanted to make them pay.

Hours and a half dozen podcasts later he was ready. He knew what to do. He had his list and was anxious to tear down its occupants. He had already judged them and the unworthy were scheduled for sentencing. Soon he would launch his campaign to one by one penalize them. He stood over his scratchy notes and smiled. Three was a good start.

He stood back from his desk and straightened his back. With one hand to his side he shot one fist up in front of him “I Penalize!†he turned his fist and swung it down and continued “I will crush the unjust!†He stood there for a moment and shrugged.

“Ah…. that’s not quite right.†He muttered and busied himself at his desk again. He started plotting out how and when to take down his – No! – Kamen Rider’s enemies.
I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez Chapter 6: Trial

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramblers, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.


After submerging himself in hours of poorly formatted, self-indulgent, navel gazing self-important blather, Matthew was nearing exhaustion. He blinked long. His eyes stung with that familiar burning that only so little sleep could bring.


He winced as his eyes burned even hotter for a moment.


He sat up and opened his eyes. What was it?


I smirk twisted around one side of his face. A satisfied sigh broke the smirk into a grin.


The grin gave way to a chuckle that sounded like relief with a hint of hesitation.


“What does this mean?†he asked, unsure if he would hear a response. He waited.



“So you have awakened on your own, Penalize?†The voice filled him as it boomed from all around.

“It’s time you step into the Monopsyche of your own avail.†It commanded.

His phone began to vibrate and glow as it lay on the desk. The light was the same as the beacon’s. He grabbed it and put it up to the screen. It began to heat up. The flashing beacon became erratic as it seemed to pair with the phone. It burned hotter still. The thought of setting it down crossed his mind.

“No fear! No pain!†He assured himself, gripping it more tightly.

The light returned to its regular strobbing and he put the phone to his belt buckle with the screen shinning out. The phone pulled against him like they were polar opposites. Unseen tendrils reached around him pulling tighter until the phone seemed to burn through to his skin. He pounded his fists against his hips to displace the pain and his eyes widened as his body seemed to envelop the shining burning mass. He thrust his fist out off to his left, turned it as he pulled it right and slashed the air from right to left. His right hand snapped to his side and he reached out to touch the beacon once more.


Sheets of ice rushed past him as reality peeled away. Or was he descending through it? It didn’t matter. Before he had time to discern he was deep within the Monopsyche. It looked like the other side; the difference was nearly imperceptible. He felt something flow through him: a reverberation of righteous indignation. He clenched his fists till his arms began shaking. He shook the fists away and turned around to open the barn door he had fled through before.

The screens flicked on as he crossed the threshold into the laboratory. The beacon was silent, so he decided to see what he could find on his own. He Busied himself with consoles, It all felt so familiar. The equipment there wasn’t just medical. It was sufficiently equipped to be his base of operations. Effortlessly he brought up a map of the sleeping world. The amorphous patch work held together by tendrils weaving through the different consciousness was a daunting sight. He located his first three targets. They were far away and spread out from each other as well; he would likely have to hit them one at a time.

The schematics were showing again on the wall displays. The image didn’t look anything like G3. He looked into a reflective bevel and determined that it was indeed the schematic for his own armor. He pulled up more data. His phone had been transformed into a device called “Testimony†it was fueled by beta-wave activity and had been integrated into his nervous system. He navigated further and saw that the Testimony could be weaponized as well after “weighing†the “Mass of Evidenceâ€. The schematic pointed to the sides and back of the belt which holstered three sets of identical objects. He probed further. They were called “Slugs†each set had one designated Charge, Evidence and Verdict; he studied them for a few moments, trying to figure out just what they were. He ran his fingers across a set of Slugs and felt the sculpted nobs. The next page showed the Testimony on a belt connected to the holsters; it appeared as if he could open it somehow. Before he could look more closely -


He turned to look up at the Beacon. “You must act quickly!†the voice bellowed. “The time to act is short. You must reach one of your enemies and mete out punishment before they awaken in the Lower World.â€

“Yes!†Matthew gave a slight nod.

“Take the Gavel and ride it to judge your enemies!†The light ceased and a door Matthew had neglected to notice before tore open. At the end of the corridor sprawled out supplies and parts and one shining machine. Rich black wood paneling contrasted with white steel and chrome piping. Penalize mounted the Gavel itching to execute some justice, but he couldn’t find the ignition switch. He looked around and felt where he couldn’t quite see until he noticed a ring in the center of the dash. He depressed its center. It wasn’t a button. It was a sliding cover? A sheath of sorts to keep extraneous things out? He panicked for a moment. Then he remembered the Slugs. He pulled out the Charge Slug from his right holster and pushed it partly through the keyway. He tried again but it wouldn’t pass through. He returned it and reached for the rear holster. This time the knob was left barely protruding from the ignition plug.

“â€PURSUE!†Gavel cried in a gleeful tone that gave way before it would have been overtaken by the powerful sounds of the engine. It roared and shook powerfully. As Penalize maneuvered the clutch it seemed to growl. Light shot into the room and filled it in an unfurling deluge that anointed him as he set out on his mission. He felt as if everything in the Monopsyche was lending him strength. The water in which he had first seized victory, the air he breathed, the earth Gavel pounded bringing him ever closer to his quarry, and now the sun shone down on him imbuing him with its power.

The sun was setting. He was close. Gavel lead him to a campus. He sat up on the bike and looked around. It was quiet. People were going on as if he wasn’t there. Crowds ebbed and flowed; every few moments the people who were going on with their lives vanished. They phased in and out of sight. He thought that perhaps the people there were beginning to rouse from their sleep. Urgently he scanned his surroundings for a sign of Ramblin’ Rick. The apparitions erratically pulsed.

“Focus!†Penalize ordered himself. Eyes shut behind compound lenses, he concentrated. Past the oceanic tumult of voices and the bustling of the ghosts moving about him, he listened.





Deeper still his hearing probed.

Now voices.




Music! A familiar song filled his ears.

“I have you now!†Penalize leaped from his seat and ran towards a dorm. Fixated on the song, it grew louder as he progressed. It rang out like a klaxon warning that Rick needed to be stopped before he committed another audible atrocity.

Penalize tore through apparitions heedlessly as the siren drew him toward it. He burst through the dorm house door. He stood for a moment to re-calibrate before zeroing in on the source and silencing it. Upstairs. Penalize jumped up the flight and stood at the landing for a moment. At the hallway’s end a door pulsed with the rhythm. He stated toward it.

Doors to his left and right opened and pajama and jeans clad men came from them. They wore black eye masks, boots and gloves. Penalize spun around to face the ones he hadn’t seen yet. They all stared at him as he peered down the hallway back to the landing. The distance seemed excessively long. His concentration was broken when one spoke unintelligibly and pulled unsheathed a flashing knife. They mumbled and hissed and screeched as they advanced. Packed in the narrow corridor it was difficult to move; the masked thugs linked arms and pulled together closing around Penalize. Three more with red gloves like the first brought there blades as well and readied to thrust at him as he struggled to get free.


Penalize had crossed his arms creating a gap between himself and the tightening crush of bodies and punched. As the force of the outer pushers caused the maw to collapse around him his fist met stomach and sternum still in free fall. Twin grunts rang out followed by the scrape of metal on metal and a scream as one, maybe two of the assailants were cut by their fellows. Crouched inside the dome of enemies he swung his arms left to right striking in front and behind simultaneously.

The corridor filled with even more.

“Grunts!†Penalize felt the rage mounting. The Testimony flashed a green light and he charged down the hall, striking and weaving as he went. He twisted knives away from a duel wielding Grunt, kicking him into another and threw them at two more near the reverberating door. As he reached the end of the hall, one Grunt wandered out of his room. He yawned and rubbed at his eye-mask. Penalize grabbed him and dragged him to the door.

“Open it!†He barked. The Grunt retrieved a key card from his pocket. With a fist to the gut, he was on the floor. Penalize swiped the key. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. The reader beeped as a series of locks undid themselves.

This was no ordinary dorm room. The cavernous chamber was honey combed with shelves holding Sentai and Rider helmets. The ceiling shone with an expanse of stars. Ramblin’ Rick sat with his back to the door. The blaring music stopped.

“In this issue of Ramblin’ Toku Dude: the Den gets a party crasher and I’m about to tear some one up!†Rick spun around in his chair. He looked at Penalize coldly.

“And just who are you?â€

“I am Penalize. I am Justice.â€

“So Mr. Justice what brings you to my fair city?†Rick half turned back to his keyboard as he spoke.

Penalize pointed at him and responded. “I’m here to judge you for crimes against your audience and Shotaro Ishinomori!â€

“But I love Kamen Rider!†Rick retorted.

“We will see.†Penalize reached his left hand into his right holster and pulled out the first Charge Slug. He held it up to see the bottom and nodded. He pointed it at Rick and reached for the Testimony with his right hand, grabbing its side he pulled, with a ratcheting snap it slid open. He set the Slug in and it snapped shut with a musical (zip) snap-ratchet.

“PERCEIVE!†declared the Testimony.

Penalize continued, “You are charged with Depraved Indifference and Obstruction of Justice!â€

Rick threw his hands up. “With what? How? Who gave you the authority to-â€

Penalize smacked his fist into his hand. “ORDER!†He walked over to Rick and sat him down. Two ellipses on the sides of his helmet protruded and rotated 130 degrees. The antennae overlapped and flattened against the front of his helmet; the green stripe on his right shot up onto his chest armor, and his eyes glowed bright red. The Testimony sent out a piercing screech and the first of three icons on its face flashed brightly. Rick cowered as the lights and shriek accelerated mode became maddening.

Penalize grabbed the corresponding Evidence Slug and inserted it into the Testimony which interrupted its self to say “EVALUATE!â€

“This doesn’t look good for you.†Penalize told Rick, wagging a finger at him.

“But you never let me finish my intro!†Rick looked behind him then back at Penalize and said, “Today’s issue features:â€

From behind Penalize the door that had been key card locked shattered. Two monsters squeezed their way through the splintered edges. The first held an ax and looked like a knight in, but was equipped odd mismatched light armor.

“I am the Random Rouge!†he said brandishing his ax.

Penalize looked back at Rick.

Rick smiled “Also featuring:â€

The second was green skinned and wore goggles and an Ascot.

“I am SureFire Guy. What’s on the agenda for this issue Rick?â€

“I already said that. Today we’re going to be proving my innocence by -â€

“Geeeeehh! Geeeeeh!!†Surefire shouted.

Random Rouge leaned his hammer against the door jamb and joined in with “Eeeeh Eeeeeeh!â€

Penalize put his hands up and shrugged incredulous. He stepped aside so that Rick could see them and asked “Why don‘t you stop them? Do you know how irritating that is to listen to? They are always talking over you. Have you no respect for yourself? I mean, ever since Let‘s Go Ka-â€

Mr. SureFire walked up behind Penalize while he was chiding Rick and grabbed the third Bat Slug from his right side holster. Penalize swung back and grabbed his arm before he could get out of reach.

“Not so fast!†Penalize said triumphantly as he turned towards the green goon and reached for the Slug.

“That’s what she said.†Mr SureFire winked as the Slug absorbed into his hand. “This is important to you, huh?â€

“Give it back!†Penalize tightened his grip on his arm and punched him in the stomach so hard hat his fist went through.Green goo covered his gauntlet completely and it was splashed all over his chest as he pulled his arm back through.

Mr. SureFire staggered back, eyes wide. He started to fall then caught himself, he straightened up and looked at Penalize with a grin that widened as his stomach came back together. “Not so fast!â€
I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez – Chapter 7: Continuence

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramblers, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.


Penalize charged with a flurry of punches which Mr. SureFire dodged easily. He glooped and gelled out of the way, turning grazes into near misses. Penalize shouted in frustration and lunged forward with both fists. Mr. SureFire stepped just short of out of range and took a direct hit. The two froze for a moment.

Mr. SureFire shrugged and turned to look at Random Rogue. “I’m bored.†He said flatly, then continued with a grin, “Wake me for the maiming!â€

“Don’t walk away from me! I’m not fin-†he stopped when a frozen package of hotdogs hit the finger pointed at Mr. SureFire.

“Pay attention, Penile Eyes!†Random Rouge bellowed as his target turned to look at him. “There’s a lot more where that came from!â€

“More of your non sequitur crap! I can’t stand that! Always interrupting Rick when-â€

“Ooh yeah, let’s keep it south of the equator! Check this out!†Random Rouge flipped the cover of his bag open and pulled out a rope and began spinning it over his head and snapped it around Penalize’s arm.

He began to reel him in, Penalize was shocked by his strength, he thought perhaps the Monopsyche was generous to those with more fluid minds. Random Rouge feed the rope into some sort of gear or grinder strapped around his waist. It pulled with even greater force freeing him to pull off two pieces of armor from his greaves and fit them to his wrists, scrapping the sharp edges together as Penalize drew nearer. Penalize noticed the shavings falling from the grinder, then he looked more closely at the rope around his arm. He chopped at it and was free just a few feet from the Rouge’s make shift blades.

“Sausage! Really? Penalize felt the Testimony vibrating, he pressed the button above the Bat icon and it called out “MEGA EYE!â€

His field of vision separated Random Rouge from the background and a line passed over him. “Scanning†splashed across his chest and Penalize took a defensive pose waiting for something helpful to appear. Having circled each other, Random Rouge was near the splintered door again and his hammer. He was strong, but the hammer was heavy. It seemed to take a few swings for him to adjust to it, sparing Penalize precious seconds to determine a strategy. The scan revealed that the grinder was a winch with a detachable hook and that the armor was cobbled together so that most of it could double as a weapon; the satchel he carried was most mysterious it seemed to be empty but a strange energy emitted from it. He would have to find out more about it, but first the hammer.

Penalize picked up the greaves and used them to deflect hammer blows, as they slid off they scrapped away until they were useless. He side stepped and threw the worn metal at Random Rouge and somersaulted across the sausage links laying on the floor and stepped on one end, pulling it taut. With a quick chop he turned it into two lengths. The next ax swing meant to take advantage of gravity, but while Random Rouge’s stroke had reached its peak he struck. The links crossed landing a hit in between mismatched armor plating. The force to his solar plexus recoiled him and broke his strike.

“Chance!†Penalize shouted and sprung up with an uppercut that knocked back and spun around his foe whose flailing caused him to bump a hand or two into Penalize before stopping himself from falling over. His helmet rocked side to side as he cracked his and shook his shoulders readying to continue his assault now that he had the upper hand. As he took a step forward peripheral vision and a faint hissing caught his attention he looked down and saw two blazing masses clinging to him. He grabbed the one on his abdomen and threw it back towards Random Rouge while reaching with his left hand for the bomb on his right hip.


Penalize screamed, clutching his wrist with his right hand as it smoked and burned.

Random Rouge coughed and struggled to speak for a moment as he waved smoke out of his face and chuckled, “Well that was one spicy meatball!â€

Penalize growled and sneered beneath his mask, and reached for the Testimony; it was in tact.

“Well I have been told by the ladies that I do have hot balls, and the guys too! In fact, one time I was in Paris and she said, ‘That’s hot!’ I do have that effect on people, speaking of which,†he threw his hammer down and reached into the satchel and pulled out bazooka and trained it on Penalize “you look like you could use a cold shower!†He fired.

Penalize depressed the second button, over the crescent icon.


The black display face dropped through the bottom so that it protruded and left a gap for his fingers to fit through. He grabbed the Testimony and swung it at the missile which exploded, frosting over the blast radius.

Ramblin’ Rick and Mr. SureFire laughed and applauded from the side lines.

“Now things are getting interesting!†Mr. SureFire grinned and flashed the Slug.

“Yeah. That’s pretty great.†Rick chimed in as if someone had forced him to and he didn’t know what to say.

Penalize turned his attention back to Random Rouge and charged him, crimping the barrel with the Buckler. He pummeled him and grabbed the hook, which attached to the winch cable once he slid it from its holder. He threw it around the barrel laying in punches as he wove the bazooka to Random Rogue’s forearm. A few directional blows later, Penalize had his back to Mr. SureFire and full control over where he could place Random Rouge, who he had managed to keep from pulling the trigger. With one great pull Random Rouge was between him and Mr. SureFire; he threw down the wire and took one step forward holding his battered hand behind him and the Buckler up and at the ready in front of him. He took a deep breath as he prepared for the next missile to fire.

Blast off.

The missile was caught in the barrel and protruding out of the bazooka as it noisily tried to meet its target. Random Rouge panicked and flailed to get away from the explosion. He pulled at the wire to get free and backed away from it instinctively even though it was still firmly secured. But it was too late. In a flash of blue and white he and Mr. SureFire had fallen victim to a misfire. The hand in which he had been holding the Slug was frozen solid along with his comrade.

Penalize laughed heartily and was there before the thinnest layer of ice had sublimated; he pinned the frozen hand against the wall and pushed hard until it cracked and fell into his injured hand. He backhanded Mr. SureFire who jabbed him in the stomach with his stump pushing and twisting it until Penalize returned the punch, going through him again, but this time he followed through with it and set his elbow on Mr. SureFire’s shoulder grabbed split him nave to neck as he forced the Buckler to meet his elbow. Mr. SureFire tried to hold himself together him and staggered to Ramblin’ Ricks feet.

Rick knelt down and touched a green gelatinous, but still intact shoulder and said, “Richard, your sacrifice will not be in vain.†He closed his eyes and stood up slowly. As his hand hovered over and slowly pulled away from what had been Mr. SureFire, a green swirling mist appeared and he twisted and rolled it into a sphere and shot it at Penalize. The blast knocked him back into the wall, the shock of what he was seeing had left him wide open to the blast. Ramblin’ Rick reached up to the heavenly canopy above him and was bathed in a myriad of pin-hole lights that shone ever more brightly until he was fully submerged.

The light surrounding him subsided into soft glowing stars against the black backdrop of space that hung above them. Rick had transformed into something that had a disco ball for a head, his skin had turned pitch black and he wore silver and blue Shaolin style dress with one arm and part of his chest exposed, revealing the starscape that glowed like blue flamed coals/charcoals beneath his skin. He took a fighting stance and motioned for Penalize to attack.

Penalize slowly approached, sizing up Rick and trying not to be distracted by the disco ball head. Then something struck him, he was getting tired of fighting. His arms ached from the hammer blows and he actually hurt his elbow with the Buckler when he took out Mr. SureFire. He clenched his fists as if that could relieve some of the unease he felt, but his left stung as he squeezed the Slug he had almost forgotten about. He sighed and wondered what to do.

“Is it too soon for a finisher?†He mumbled to himself. He looked at the Buckler and slotted the Slug. He was out of ideas.

The monster formerly known as Ramblin’ Rick advanced, interrupting any down time to form a plan. The two went back and forth almost dancing more than fighting; Penalize could take the hits, but couldn’t really connect. While locked in one of a series of stale mates he asked “So, what do I call you? I’m going to need a name to defeat you properly.â€

He began to pose “I am Disco Danger of the Sentai Fan Star,â€

“More like Disco Mask.†Penalize muttered under his breath.

“And I will avenge my fallen comrade!†His head glowed brightly and spun. He let out a cry and attacked.

He hadn’t been landing any punches, his left hand hurt too much from absorbing the shock from before and Disco Danger blocked every proper punch. Penalize realized that the Buckler was cumbersome and placed it back on his belt, it neatly went back to it’s standard form. Now he could move more quickly. The two were no longer in a stagnant stalemate, they were fighting a war of attrition. Each would strike a blow and be answered with one.

Disco Danger struck a ready pose and exhaled to focus his chi and he calmly said, “Be prepared to accept Karma.†His head shone blindingly bright and he executed a rapid series of punches and kicks all over Penalize, culminating in a Chi-bomber that sent him flying. Penalize lay on the floor and could hear Disco Danger’s steps as he slowly walked towards him. As he lay there he thought about all of the things that were wrong with Ramblin’ Toku Dude. He thought about how greatly it disgraced Kamen Rider. His mind seared with the idea that this beast would continue to falsely love Kamen Rider.

He sneered and began to think aloud, “I will not allow you to continue poisoning the minds of your listeners. You lure them in with falsehood and those who wish to hear about Kamen Rider are made to suffer through drivel and nonsense. The worst kinds of inconsistencies!†At this point he began to stand up. He reached for the Verdict Slug and presented it to Disco Danger, who tried to snatch it from his hand, but was too slow. Penalize had grabbed him by the wrist and opened up the Testimony and inserted the Slug. As it snapped shut he twisted his arm and punched him in the chest.

The Testimony cried out “ZONE!†Darkness filled the room except for a spotlight on Disco Danger and Penalize with his glowing red eyes. It beep and howled, â€SENTENCING!â€

Penalize continued “Disco Danger, you are guilty of Depraved Indifference by lapsing in your coverage of Kamen Rider while it airs!†He punched him and continued, “Obstruction of Justice for claiming to be a Tokusatsu podcast host, but hardly talking about current and relevant series and stealing listeners time as they wait for you to deliver on what you promise!†He punched again and kicked him too. “You do nothing in the service of Kamen Rider, and that is unforgivable!!†Out of the darkness shackles sprung, holding the monster in place.

The Testimony flashed and shrieked “EXECUTION!†Penalize pressed the third button which popped the display down as it had before so that he could use the Buckler, but additionally, two barrels protruded in between the icons.

He pulled it off his belt and yelled “Mega Chiroptera!†The barrels clicked into the display as flaming wings spread out. They flapped and burst through Disco Danger who dissolved into a haze. The chains disappeared and Rick fell from their phantom grasp. Penalize caught him and watched the monstrous haze burn away.

“I am Penalize. I am Justice!â€

He set Rick into his chair and looked around, unsure of what to do. He turned his attention back to the spot where he had destroyed Disco Danger and saw a shiny silver feather. He picked it up and tapped the first button again to see is he could discover anything about it.


He held it at a different gle.


“Well. I guess I’ll go, then?â€

Penalize ran out of the dorm, which no longer had an elongated hallway. As he went to the Gavel, he noticed that the crowds were hardly in focus anymore; they were waking up. He mounted Gavel and sped on towards the sunset and his lair.
I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez – Chapter 8: Objection

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramblers, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.


By the time he had gotten back to the barn and returned to HQ, the map showed that most of the Monopsyche was frozen. The tumult of dreams and the strands connecting them had calmed and cleaved themselves from one another; returning each Waker to the lower world of the physical plane. He shook his head, both rueful that he would soon leave and disdainful of the ignorant masses who had been swept into serving Rick. He surveyed the campus and could no longer see the stain that had surrounded it. Matthew smiled to himself knowingly as ripples near the campus evened out and froze over. He turned away from the console and remembered the memento he had acquired.

The Beacon illuminated, “Good work, Penalize. You have struck a blow for Justice! You should notice a change in the Ramblin’ Toku Dude since you destroyed the darkness in him.â€

Matthew dehenshined and held the feather up “I found this in that freak’s wake. I couldn’t scan it at all.â€

“Yes.†the rough voice began intently “It may prove useful. Perhaps it will reveal more about the growing threat to Kamen Rider.†A robotic arm descended and made itself ready to receive the strange object.

Matthew handed it over but paused for a moment afterwards. He felt as if he heard a voice calling him; before it fully registered he became distracted and lost any semblance of the cry. He is distracted by an urgent pinging which echoes the flashing of the Beacon.

The voice speaks out to him, “You had better hurry. As it stands,†it continued almost with a sigh, “You can not be here when the Wakers are not. Vain humanity is so underdeveloped that the Monopsyche is still while they sleep. Not until they have ascended, will their feeble physical world have the ability to sustain the presence of the Great, which indwells this place, and continue existing.â€

Matthew nodded in agreement. He turned around to once more take in the beautiful world to which he had been called. He took a deep breath and lay down, closing his eyes as he exhaled.

“Rider Jump! Rider Kick! Kamen Rider, Kamen Rider! Rider, Rider!†Bellicose horns and drums blared on and repeated themselves after an instrumental played on for a few seconds.

Matthew reached through the darkness for his phone. Early. He grabbed his headphones and put them on and refreshed his Doggcatcher. While searching for the toothpaste he felt a buzz in his pocket. With a quick twist and a few slides, the cap was off and a new notification gleamed. It had been a week of near incessant feed and site checking, accompanied by a few too many tweets and emails for attention that had all been answered by nothing. He selected the title and forced the download. The episode fired up while he was brushing and he had to stop before he had finished so that he could clearly hear the opening minutes. The Intro was about the same, though Ramblin’ Rick wasn’t quite as loud as usual. The music finished playing and he began introducing the issue for the episode. By the time Matthew was ready for work he he hard listened to a reasonably short RTD with almost no distractions or tangents. Co-hosts were kept in line and they actually talked about Super Sentai and Kamen Rider! He was elated and went to work invigorated.

All day he reflected on what it was like to be in the Monopsyche. Even when he was losing it felt good; the rush of fighting and the thrill of victory. He had a part in making the Rider fandom better, and he wanted to do it again. And he would, as he got his things ready to leave work he received a text message. The number seemed familiar but he wasn’t sure who the sender was, however, the content was clearly from the Beacon.

“Who knew the Monopsyche had cell service?†He joked to himself and scrolled through the text. Setting the phone down with a smile he picked up the orange and black Switch from his desk. He admired it for a few moments then depressed the plunger hard.


The time had come. Matthew had busied himself on the laptop and finally the shards of the Monopsyche were piecing themselves together. The Wakers rested from their fleshly toils and laid themselves down as the path to heaven he would walk to ascend into the Monopysche formed from the ghostly trails of their synapses. He could feel it, a warmth caressed his mind with each subconscious that reached out to join with the collective to be part of something greater than themselves. Something like him. He had ascended, he was better that is why he was called that is why he had to return. His superiority came with the responsibility to do what had to be done; he was an instrument of Justice and it was time to go to work.

Matthew grabbed his phone and readied himself to ascend into the Monopsyche. Just when he was about to press the button, he paused and turned away from the laptop he had been facing the other two times he had gone there.

“Let’s see.†He said as he turned on his heel to dart out of the room. He wanted to see if he had to be in that room or in front of the computer to make it work. What if he was stuck somewhere and had to get in? What if the laptop was dead or worse yet, the phone? Now that the phone had been turned into the Testimony did he have to keep it forever? Could he transfer its status as Penalize Driver? He stopped himself.

“Focus, man!†He was in the hallway. “This should do.†He held up the phone and pressed the power button. Once again the sheets of ice rushed past him. When he got into the lab, there was no activity on the displays, the Beacon was also off.

He went to a console to pull up the map, but it was difficult to read, the amorphous fluctuating blob lay flat, and though he saw it clearly, it was unintelligible. He pecked at the controls and keyboard, but found nothing. He even tried the phone but nothing useful could be found there, just the usual apps and stored data. Sliding it into his pocket, he looked around at the quiet lab and noticed the silver feather floating in one of the liquid filled tubes. The glint caught his eye and he walked over and activated the monitoring console built into the tube’s base. It called up a screen with symbols, letters and numbers flitting across it. With a few key strokes, he found that it was made of an unidentified substance. A screen came forward that said something else he couldn’t understand. After a few attempts to get to another window he quit and turned his attention to the main console.

His prodding proved fruitless after sometime, and just as he was about ready to quit, he thought of something. Matthew’s hand hovered over the console for a few moments, striking as he dashed off towards the door that opened with a clean hydraulic hiss. The garage was smaller than he had remembered, but was still equipped with spare parts, diagnostic and repair tools. He had never ridden a bike in the Lower World, but when he had gone to judge Ramblin’ Rick he had no issues with the Gavel. Just like the foreign consoles in the lab, there was a familiarity with these things he knew nothing of a week before. Still he wanted to learn what he could to better deal with the potential threat of stronger monsters.

Upon further inspection he saw that the Gavel had not one, but three keyways. The top he had noticed before was for the ignition, but the other two? He summoned the Testimony and sat down inserting the Wolf Charge Slug into the Gavel’s dash.


He chuckled. “No wonder they use English words.â€

The bike’s display light up with some specs and one by one Matthew inserted Slugs into the two auxiliary ports to see what they could do. After a while he left to test out its capabilities in transit. He rode for a long time with the Wolf Evidence Slug, so he could find his way back. He found himself at a quarry where riding the Cyclone was none other than the one who started it all, Takeshi Hongo, the O G rider! Matthew slotted the Bat Verdict Slug and started down to meet Kamen Rider!

“Rider!†He began calling, occasionally taking an uneasy hand off to wave as he approached the cyborg Legend. Rider One sped fiercely on turning, the Cyclone sharply in corners Matthew couldn’t imagine. He marveled at his expertise as Rider tightened his circuit until he stopped a distance away from Matthew, the dust flying behind him declaring his awesomeness.

Matthew hopped off of Gavel and stood in front of it in the coolest pose he could manage. He waited for Rider to do the same. After a moment, Matthew broke his stance and started towards him. He began to speak when Rider dismounted Cyclone. Hongo was in the first design: all black and green with a splash of red with the scarf, the pink eyes and white on the belt, beautifully contrasting the silver and red Typhoon. Subtle. Simple. Classic. Matthew was so thrilled he abandoned his attempts to be cool and began rambling.

“Kamen Rider Takeshi Hongo, it’s a pleasure to meet you!â€

Hongo reached out his hand and patted him on the head.

“I just want to let you know that I love Kamen Rider so much! You are a hero of Justice! And that’s what I am too?â€

“Oh?†Hongo replied.

“Yeah, my mission is to take out those who profane your name and don’t give you the respect you deserve. I even entered someone’s heart and removed the detestable anti-Rider agenda from them. H was this podcaster who I started listening to a while back, but I had to stop because he wasn’t giving Kamen Rider its proper respect. He was only talking about it to malign your good name!â€

Hongo didn’t seem to react, so Matthew continued. “This mysterious light and voice called to me one night and brought me here. Then the guy I attacked, as well as some other “Kamen Rider†podcasters tried to stop me from getting to them and serving justice. But the voice helped me and gave me this!†He pointed to his belt and the Testimony on it.

“Then I went and beat the evil out of that guy! I showed him to disrespect Kamen Rider! I listened to his show… it’s better now. You can rest assured I will fight on to stop all the enemies of Kamen Rider, no… enemies of Justice! I will-â€

“Stop!†Hongo said suddenly, putting his hand up. “Listen to yourself! That damned Shocker remodeled my body and wanted to use me to do their will. Don’t you see it? You were brought here and given this power and sent to attack these people you don’t know, to bend them to your will! Or the will of the one who gave you the power! I was nearly brainwashed by Shocker, but you are a willing dupe. Wake up!â€

“Who are you?†Matthew asked backing away from the apparent Kamen Rider. “The Takeshi Hongo I know vowed to crush evil and fight for Justice! Let’s see if you really are Kamen Rider, fight me!†Matthew cut through the air with knife straight hands, he uncrossed his arms clenching his fists, he dropped the left as the right swung down from right to left and snapped to the side of his belt to match with the other.


“I must fight evil until the end!†Hongo threw his right arm out and crossed his left over his chest, took a step forward and punched.

Penalize threw up his left forearm to block and strike, but the force of Rider’s punch was so tremendous it stunned him. He spun to keep from falling and pounded his fist in to Rider’s side. Rider kneed him in the chin which sent him arching back and he kicked him before Penalize had a chance to finish falling.

Penalize got up and Rider stood ready to attack again. “Let’s see if you can handle this fake Rider!†He pulled open the Testimony as he grabbed the Charge and Evidence Slugs from his left side. He dropped them in, it snapped and hissed shut. He hit the third button over the alligator icon.

“PREDICT! ENGAGE!†the Testimony cried out. “CRACKER!†it continued as he slid the top half of the Testimony off and straightened it out, creating a handle, he pulled it hard and a whip unfurled from within the Testimony.

Penalize unleashed the lash at Rider. With a loud snap, it wrapped around his arm as he threw it in the path of the fall and cracker. He pressed a button that pulled the lash taut and yanked. Rider’s fist shook as he strained to stay his ground, then he gave in, riding the momentum to deliver a punch that knocked Penalize down. He grabbed Penalize and threw him.

“As long as you continue to act without remorse, you can never be forgiven for terrorizing humanity and threatening their freedom!â€

“You can not be Kamen Rider!†Matthew shouted as he got up. He screamed as the ellipses rotated down and back and the green stripe shot up the right side of his chest plate. He pulled out the Verdict Slug from the Alligator side and inserted it into the curved part of the Cracker’s handle. The icon light up and he whipped at the Faux Rider in a rapid cacophony of strikes.

The Faux Rider hopped onto his bike and started to ride off. Penalize screamed as he just escaped the cracker of his whip. He started running for him then hopped on Gavel which he had summoned by pressing the Bat icon. Its Verdict Slug was in the Gavel, enabling in to start it back up and find him. Now he pressed the icon again to target and follow Rider.

“ZONE!†The Testimony cried as Gavel picked up speed to catch its prey.

Penalize caught up to Rider and stood on the seat of his bike. He cracked he whip, grabbing the fake Cyclone by one of its pipes and yanked the bike out from under its Rider. As he fell, Penalize leapt towards him landing beyond where he had fallen. Penalize snapped and Gavel whipped around striking Rider as he stood. He knocked it away with a back handed strike but that still gave Penalize a chance! He had cocked his arm back and delivered a lash that wrapped around the Rider’s body. Penalize pulled and the Lash tightened more and more.

Penalize yelled out “LAGARTO CRUSH!†and the lash tightened completely shredding through the Rider’s mechanical body. He laughed hardily and walked over to the pile of scrap. “Some Kamen Rider you turned out to be!â€

Matthew dehenshined, mounted Gavel and rode back to the barn, dragging the scraps behind him. He hung the electronic carcass on the garage wall and brought the head to the lab as another specimen to study. A robotic arm took it and he paused to think for a while. He was sure that it had been something like a Shocker Rider, probably sent by the demented creatures who wanted nothing more than to malign Kamen Rider.

“The Spirit of Kamen Rider is here, but so is the Spirit of Shocer!†Matthew leaned over the console holding himself on it. He was certain the coming battles would only become more difficult. Injustice was rising in the Monopsyche. That was why he had been called, only he could stop it. He had to free people’s minds from the tyranny of the mediocre and make them respect Kamen Rider, no matter what it took.
I am KamenRiderPEZ
Apr 17, 2011
Kamen Rider Pez – Chapter 9: Three of a Kind

Over taken by rage and isolation, a young man vows to himself that he will stand in the gap and proudly bandy the flag of his fandom. He will stand against the toy reviewers, the ramblers, ranters and the inconsistent content producers. This is his story.


The Tokusatsu fandom, full of its myriad opinions and members was a fertile ground for both good and evil. Matthew recalled the aftermath of the Tsunami, and how figureheads pleaded with forum members, blog readers and podcast listeners to Hero Up for Japan. But with that great light there was great darkness. The same people whose love for Japan and its people, caused them to open their wallets to send disaster relief funds would by the hug pillows and “novelty dolphin polishers†with 2-dimensional animated little girls on them! The fans who cheered for heroes battling the forces of darkness, by overcoming grief, sadness and all the baseness of their intact humanity were given to baseless hatred towards one another. Mocking subbing groups with whom they disagreed about translating styles was an expression of the dark spirit, rife within them. Message board posts denigrating women and emboldening misogynist impulses were replete in the so-called analyses of show’s whose protagonists defend peace and freedom for all. The disrespect for the work of the show’s creators and the content made Matthew’s blood boil.

Matthew sat at his desk scrolling through the forums of HJU. He had to keep tabs on the fandom he loved. The flawed group who was so given to things they should detest. He shook his head to clear the dark thoughts from his mind, grimacing as they rattled loose. He was biding his time, waiting for the Beacon to call on him again. Until the time came for him to crush the unjust, he figured it would be wise to patrol the forums, seeking out the Shadow of Shocker he had sensed in the Monopsyche.

“All in good time.†He assured himself as the next page loaded.

He scrolled down, revealing a comment so vile, his gut twisted as he read. He had to read the mess again to somehow make sense of the repugnant drivel.

“Who are you?†He asked the screen in disbelief.



“Ah, I found you.†He grinned.

The User was not only part of the HJU forums, he was an MMM listener.

He took a deep breath and exhaled. “Monologues. Masks and Morphers, of course!†He knew they had a lot of Rider under their belt, but the content of their frustrating show would never betray that, but to the most persistent listeners who could slog through the endless toy talk and derisive and insulting news anchoring. It was as if they sought to troll their own listeners! Matthew grabbed his phone and stood up.

“This ends now!†He closed his eyes as the refreshing chill of the Monospyche’s Gate enveloped him, invigorating his thirst for Justice with the bitterness of the cold truth that he may be the only voice speaking out for Kamen Rider.

In the lab, Matthew called up the location of Adrian Bagley, the toy obsessed, main host of MMM who could hardly edit and could never keep on topic! He glared intensely at the display, absorbing the image. He flipped a switch on the console and marched toward the open door, his heavy footsteps pounded the uneven ground.

In the garage he turned to look at Faux Rider carcass before setting off. He thought by taking its head, he may have taken the head off the snake, but he was beginning to doubt that. Was he dealing with a Hydra? From where was all this Injustice coming? Was it from the Spirit of Shocker, or was the Spirit revived because of Man?

“It matters not!†He said to the hanging wreckage, resting his hand on the Testimony.

He turned and reached for the Charge Slug.

“PURSUE!†the Gavel cried as tires screeched under his fervent insistence.

Matthew arrived at a quiet storefront in a strip mall.

The Gavel seemed to fly, fuelled by rage, and there was plenty of sunlight. He could take his time with the unholy trio of MMM.

“Mmm, good.†He smiled to himself as he stepped off of the Gavel.

He walked over to a hobby shop with darkened windows. The signage seemed in disrepair and the decals obscured the inside almost completely, he peered in, but still couldn’t see anything. Matthew put his ear to the glass and heard a familiar voice. He turned quickly and walked back to the Gavel. Approaching full speed, he jumped the bike through the glass tearing away the tinting and shattering it.

He pulled the Slug from Gavel and slotted back into its holster. The hobby shop was filled with the owner’s collection; a dizzying mass of plastic, Matthew could scarcely comprehend. Adrian was busy at his computer talking to someone about placing an order for more toys. He hardly noticed what had happened and was too engrossed in his task for it to register.

Matthew walked over to Adrian and shook his head in disgust. “How pathetic!â€

Adrian smirked, stroked a few keys and turned to Matthew and said “BAM! Henchmen!

Through the front door, came a stream of eye-masked men with headphones dangling from their ears and around their necks. Motley as they were, the bunch came at Matthew. The first two he met with fists and feet. He grabbed another two by the cords around their necks and banged their heads together, pushing their unconscious bodies towards another, advancing with a plastic sword. Taken aback, Matthew paused long enough to get whacked with a wooden sword and punched from the side. He rolled past the Grunt with the plastic knife, grabbing the sword from him as he sprung up. He dispatched him and threw the knife down. Matthew cut through the air with knife straight hands, he uncrossed his arms clenching his fists, he dropped the left as the right swung down from right to left and snapped to the side of his belt to match with the other.


Penalize tore through the remaining grunts effortlessly, then shifted his attention to Adrian. He reached back and grabbed the first Wolf Slug, he held it up to Adrian and declared,

“You are charged with Slander against all of Kamen Rider and Neglect for focusing on mostly anything but Kamen Rider, as well as another count of Neglect for being more focused on the toys than the actual shows with which they correspond!â€

He slotted the Slug


“We will sniff out the truth.†The Testimony howled and the crescent icon flashed as the antennae folded and flattened. The icon’s pulsing obscured the Crusher and elliptical vents on the sides of the helmet as they took a lupine shape. Finally the center stripe extended green on his chest, as the flashing of the light subsided, revealing the altered helm with wolf like ears and stubbed snout.

“Uhh, yeah. In your bra!†someone lobbed an insult from beside the door behind the counter.

“That’s Sithachu!†Adrian gleefully sang out his cohost’s handle.

“Or in your butt.†Another form the other door jamb.

Adrian snag again. “And here’s DopeRanger!â€

“Damn it, FateMonomi, how many times do I have to tell you, ‘Screw the pooch’ is just a phrase? But at least it’s a ***** this time.†DopeRanger added.

“No matter how many of you there are, I will defeat you!†he stepped forward into a pose with arms reaching out and arching together to suggest the crescent of the moon burning through the darkness of night. “I Penalize, I am Justice!â€

“M’kay.†Adrian said dumbfounded

“Are you gonna stand there all day?†DopeRanger asked mockingly.

Sithachu reached into his pocket. Penalize readied himself to counter the coming attack, taking a defensive stance. But he just pulled out his phone to play with it as he ignored Penalize.

Penalize froze for a moment, Matthew’s mind was racing. What was he supposed to do? These agents of evil stood before him as if he wasn’t there. He wondered, what Kotaro would do. He winced under his mask as he strained to think of Black ever encountering a mutant that wouldn’t fight him. Nothing! There was the friendly whale, but nothing else. His mind flashed to ZX so he leapt over the display counter and advanced.

“Fight me!â€

“But I’m placing an order… hold on!†FateMonomi chided him.

“You won’t be around to receive it anyway!†Penalize pounded the display, shattering the glass.

The three snapped their attention to him, they looked pale. Then he had an idea. Penalize reached into the case and grabbed a fistful of Figuarts. He mechanically craned his fist towards them and squeezed. As multi-jointed plastic bodies snapped and popped, their mouths hung open. FateMonomi let out a feral cry. Penalize laughed and went two-fisted into the display and cast the scrapped PVC at their feet. He stopped himself from grabbing the six Gokaiger and turned his attention to the now ashen faced MMM crew.

“Get him!†FateMonomi yelled.

With cacophonous fury, the myriad toys that lined shelves and display cases animated; the swarm shattered through their cases and covered Penalize. The din of clicks and clacks deafened him. The one sixth scale army jabbed, poked and prodded everywhere. They pulled at his armor and began attacking the Testimony. He had to act, unsure of what would happen if it were to be tampered with mid-henshin. Penalize began brushing them off, but that wasn’t enough, they were simply shifted and regrouped. Next he grabbed at them and tried to pull them off, but others would just fill in the freshly made gap in the onslaught.

The MMM crew laughed as Penalize twisted and writhed under the attack of the toys he had maligned. His failed attempts at stopping the horde gave them time to get over the humor of the situation and arm themselves. They hastened as Penalize shifted strategy again and began punching pounding and slapping himself. The toys crunched and cracked, their parts clattering on the tile as they rained down signaling the end was near for them.

Penalize used his Wolf Mode to scent tag all the toys and reached back to grab the last two. He spun around to show the three that he had bested them, but they weren’t there. He looked around and crushed the plastic in his hand. It was quiet, but his hearing was superior to a normal human’s and through the wall that divided the front of the store from the merchandise area, he heard snickering. He growled and threw the door open to see the three standing there with Rider Belts on. They appeared to be modified versions of the W-Driver

The three said in unison, “We are a three-in-one Kamen Rider!†One by one, they plugged something in to their Drivers




“HENSHIN!†they yelled.

DopeRanger and Sithachu fell unconscious and FateMonomi shone brightly as he transformed. Penalize turned aside shielding his eyes, when he turned back he paused, unsure of what was in front of him.

“You’re no Kamen Rider!†Penalize scoffed.

The three heads twisted and jerked on their serpentine necks as smoke streamed from their nostrils and wings beat. They had merged into a sliver three-headed dragon whose heads touched the ceiling when fully extended.

“You may call us Legion, for we are many!†Sithachu chuckled.

“But there are only three of us, so were just a few.†DopeRanger bobbed his head over, jabbing at Sithachu’s neck.

“Wait, I got it!†FateMonomi separated the two and whispered to them

The three heads jostled and posed, “We are Shu-Do-Je!â€

Penalize hit the crescent icon on the Testimony. “EXPLORE!†It called.

They placed their heads in a triangle and one by one let out a screech. They continued and began to move their heads, the ceiling over Penalize began to crack. They lowered their heads maintaining the position relative to each other. He stepped back into the convergence of their cries and was blasted with a wave that boiled and baked through his armor. He spun away from the burning, and dove through the door. He slammed the door and rolled over the counter.

A pause.

The singing started again and the wall disintegrated. Shu-Do-Je stepped through the smoldering hole and blasted Penalize again.

Penalize slotted the Wolf Evidence Slug and pressed the second button.

“WAILER!†cried the Testimony, releasing the top half. He extended the side and prepared himself for another attack. When the tri-headed Dragon unleashed again, he took part of the hit, holding the Wailer in the focal point of the blast.


Penalize reeled from the blast, falling to a knee. He gasped for air and strained to pull himself together. He looked up at Shu-Do-Je who was breathing heavily as well, he tried to stand, but fell over. Shu-Do-Je move to crush him with massive talons and hundreds of pounds. Penalize raised the Wailer and fired a spray of sonic blasts; two tore through a wing, eliciting a cry from the silver beast.

Shu-Do-Je destroyed the ceiling and spread his wings, saying “Sayonara, sucker!†as his powerful wings created a debris-filled whirlwind that obscured Penalize’s vision.

Penalize fired wildly into the air and clipped the other wing, taking Shu-Do-Je off course; he had to readjust his bearings to keep fleeing. As it struggled to compensate, the three began to argue; each wanting to pull a different direction to avoid getting hit again. The result was that they managed to stay in place above Penalize, who fired more deliberately as they made an easy mark for him. He still couldn’t see them, but he could smell the wounds he had inflicted. He fired five well placed shots tearing through thin leathery flesh until the dragon could no longer maintain lift.

Penalize side-stepped Shu-Do-Je as he fell, slotting the Wolf Verdict Slug.

The Testimony flashed and called “ZERO!â€

Shu-Do-Je attempted another audio assault but couldn’t make a sound.


“You are a spiteful beast! Guilty of Slander, Neglect and Avarice! Your obsession with toys has led you down a very dark path, and now you will have to pay for your crimes!â€

Shu-Do-Je tried to get up, but slammed to the floor as chains shot through the floor, wrapping around the three serpentine necks.


Penalize pressed the center button on the Wailer’s barrel and held the trigger. The blast built up and he yelled, “BANE BLAST!†The Wailer’s howling blast stripped away silver, when the note ended the chains and dragon were gone, leaving Adrian on the chipped tile.

Penalize picked him up and dragged him to the back room and set him on a cot there. He dehenshined and headed out, pausing to see the devastation in the store, then he noticed the Gokaiger were still in their display case. He wondered why and reached in to examine them. They seemed just like the others, but he had an odd feeling about them, so he grabbed one of the store’s plastic bags and collected the Pirate crew. Adrian’s Triple-Driver was laying on the floor too, so Matthew picked it up, mounted the Gavel and rode out of the store.