Kamen Rider Heaven & Hell

[KamenRiderHeaven&Hell]

Story:After a normal day in high school, Peter was walking home when he saw monsters attacking some people and he knew all he could was run and hide, but he that day he felt brave and tried to help those poor people, they ran away. Now, Peter was in front of a challenge and nothing, but his fists to fight them and courage. In the heavens, God was talking to the, Devil and they both talked about, an even greater power that opposed both of them, they knew they had to do something.An angel went towards, God and told that the minions of 1(Superior Power) we're attacking, Earth.
They both looked at a screen and saw, Peter and saw him trying to fight the monsters, God thought he was brave and good, Devil thought he was stupid and weak.
Peter, was fight the monsters, but nothing seemed to work and they hit Peter's arm, it started bleeding, Peter dropped to his knees, but got back up and ran towards them.
God and Devil both agreed that he would inheriet their powers and find a way to beat, 1.
Time stopped, God brought, Peter to heaven and they explained the situation to him, the thought of protecting the world sound like the best he could make out of his life and so he agreed.
God drew a cross on Peter's right hand and Devil drew a downward-pointing pentagram on his left hand.
Peter was send back to Earth, the monsters looked at him, Peter put his hands up and together like he was praying. "Henshin!"Shouted Peter
Then, white and black smoke arose from his palms transforming him into Kamen Rider Heaven & Hell and he knew his mission was protecting the world.

If it's too long sorry

Was it bad, good, or does it need some changing?

Look:It would kind of be like W. His head would be white and black not like W with the right eye white and a black cross in it and the left would be black with a white downward pentagram in it. the rest of the body would be colored white and black but not one side black and the other white

Place:U.S.A

 

[syer1001]

so, basically, God and Devil are cooperating now? That's dangerous...

Anyway, good story. Would love to see the outcome...

 

[KamenRiderHeaven&Hell]

Thanks and this is my first fanfic as well

I'll think of some other things to go with it if I could draw I would, but sadly I can't lol

 

[KamenRiderHeaven&Hell]

Peter was going home that afternoon thinking that he had actually helped someone, no saved a life that was an even bigger accomplishment for him and he couldn't wait to keep protecting lifes, now he had a duty something he could feel good about. Meanwhile, "1" was in his home in "Nowhere" and he was just thinking about how he could deal with someone who holds the, Gods and the Devils power. It bothered him a little, but he was confident that he would succeed.

 

[ReluctantBum]

Wow, that was good.

I really like the idea of God and Devil choosing an envoy that fights for them.

The thing that struck me was the potential the story has. The two are cooperating but are they also competing with each other?
Can Peter choose which power he can uses? If he has ill-intent does the devil power get stronger and vice-e-versa?
Will Peter eventually feel like a tool the 2 entities are toying with his life, or will he accept this path and his scared mission to damnation?

I want more of this! :castlerock:

 

[KamenRiderHeaven&Hell]

Wow, that was good.

I really like the idea of God and Devil choosing an envoy that fights for them.

The thing that struck me was the potential the story has. The two are cooperating but are they also competing with each other?
Can Peter choose which power he can uses? If he has ill-intent does the devil power get stronger and vice-e-versa?
Will Peter eventually feel like a tool the 2 entities are toying with his life, or will he accept this path and his scared mission to damnation?

I want more of this! :castlerock:

Thanks for the feedback and yea God and the Devil want "1" out of the way so they can go compete with each other again and that he can choose which power he wants, but like right now he doesnt know it, so he uses half and half

 

[KamenRiderHeaven&Hell]

Days passed since that fateful day for Peter and everything seemed fine for a little at least. Peter went to school like always and got back to his old same boring life of going to school."Hey, Peter"Said Chris "Yea"Said Peter "You remember that new of a guy or something that saved those people from tha monster or something?"Asked Chris "Yea, I do"Said Peter with a small grin "I wonder who was that guy must have been someone cool and pretty brave"Said Chris "Yea, I bet"Said Peter

More and more days passed the same as usual nothing to do, but one day Peter was walking home and he suddenly appear before God and the Devil "Peter are you ok?"Asked God "Yea"Said Peter "You know if youre bored you can always use half the power and I mean my side of the power and go do some evil, you know only if youre ever bored"Said the Devil "Never! I would never do such thing I am a protector not a destroyer got it!"Said Peter, the Devil didnt talk back.

If I spelled anything tell me please

 

[Hell Kaiser Andy]

There's quite a lot of potential in this fic. I'd suggest you maybe put it on hiatus and branch out the story ideas. Build the plot in simple points and then write your way to the points you need.

I'd maybe also slow it down a bit, mention the scenary.

Fx in the first part, your OP, you simply mentioned very briefly that he was on his way home, where was he currently. Suddenly he's in Heaven, how does it look?

 

[KamenRiderHeaven&Hell]

There's quite a lot of potential in this fic. I'd suggest you maybe put it on hiatus and branch out the story ideas. Build the plot in simple points and then write your way to the points you need.

I'd maybe also slow it down a bit, mention the scenary.

Fx in the first part, your OP, you simply mentioned very briefly that he was on his way home, where was he currently. Suddenly he's in Heaven, how does it look?

Ok thanks and I will think about stories ideas and Ill explain more about the my first post later thanks for the feedback

 

[KamenRiderHeaven&Hell]

Just adding something to my first post

He was coming home after he left the mall, he was with his friends and heaven looked like a plac he liked(I think heaven is different for everyone) He was at home in his that what heaven looked like for him and God looked like a old guy he was in a suit and the Devil was next to him he also was wearing a suit and looked like a normal man

If anyone needs more explaining please tell!