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How would you rewrite it?

1. Characters:
- Haruto/Wizard: I like him, but there's no need to put a lot of story origin on him like that soccer thing. Its like Haruto is the mix of Vash the Stampede, Dante & Captain Marvelous. Though I would like for him to become the Dragon Phantom near the end of the show.
- Nitoh/Beast: Do something about him!
- Mayu, Yuzuru & Yamamoto. They should be their own mages with their own jewels. Take Mayu, she can be Witch like Bayonetta. Yuzuru... Alchemist and Yamamoto... Necro (necromancer).

2. Story:
......

3. Arsenal:
......

4. What should be added?
- A mage/rider should appear serving Section Zero named Kazumi Hoji who becomes Druid.
- Kirin/Qilin. Another Phantom general in service to Wiseman. His gate was once a famous magician/illusionist after the great Houdini. His fame came crashing down and his beloved killed in an accident (or murder) and he fell into despair. With Kirin born and in service to Wiseman, he bides his time to betray him when he learns of his plans to revive Koyomi and takes advantage of it when the sabbath fails. And he'll use the Philosopher's stone to not only create an army of Phantoms and mages, but also revive his beloved from death.

That's all I got for now.
 
R

raden238

Guest
1. Haruto and Koyomi being a couple by the end. If they were in romantic relationship, the conflict with Koyomi's daddy Fueki would of been a lot stronger and would work well.

2. Eliminate some of the rings, I would keep all the form change rings but some of the attack rings are so useless (dance, smell, sleep etc..) take those out.

3. Nitoh would die at the end, his character was so boring, death would of helped the story.

4. Gremlin should of been darker, he was a female serial killer but that didn't add to much in the show. Make him more threatening and crazy like him killing Beast.

5. Shunpei and the Old man who makes rings. Scrapped.

6. The Mages should of been the Riotroppers of the show. White Wizard would have legions of them to fight Haruto instead.

7. Actually have the Phantoms despair some of our bi weekly guest characters. They always lose, its so pathetic. Guest characters could of turned into phantoms.
 
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Well.... there's the obvious route of making things "darker" with blood, gore and death, or there's the more... frightening route. Psychological fear.

Shrink the number of supporting protagonists, hell, maybe even remove them all together, leaving a bare minimum of heroes, especially up until Beast's introduction. Make it a lonely show, as despair without loneliness? Might be possible, but I've never seen it. Much like fear, despair is increased by loneliness, as, if you die, who cares? The thought that no one would care if you died right then and there... not a comforting one.

Add some psychedelic aspects to the Phantoms, especially when interacting with humans. They should seem to drive the world mad just a little bit, not overtly, but skew the camera a little, film off-center, very slightly, anything to trigger the "wrong" feeling. Like something is... very much not right, but you can't tell why.

The show should steep in sorrow and failure, with many of the Gates being killed, either because Haruto didn't make it in time or he simply failed to stop them. This should continue till roughly, again, Beast's introduction and subsequent alliance, which should provide a major turning point, perhaps not an extreme one but... this is when hope should start to spark, not yet taking hold, but faint glimmers should be seen. These should keep increasing as the Dragon forms start to appear one by one, Dragon himself changing as the series progresses, showing little hints of a change of heart, eventually coming to a head with Infinity's debut, where Haruto has his will and hopes shattered in a brutal and dramatic fashion, perhaps having his Dragon Rings(Symbolizing his progress.) being destroyed during a brutal battle, with Dragon of all people telling him to man his sorry ass up, as after all his hope BS talk, he doesn't get to quit just because things got a little harder, something along those lines.

That's all I've got, at least as far as total rewrites are concerned. A lot of things could of been tweaked with Wizard, as there's no ONE thing that ruins it, just a LOT of little things.
 
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Haruto/Wizard fight a lot like Dante. Too bad before Beast, they should've added another mage that fights like Vergil. He would be a part of Section Zero and that his dark secret was that the mage is actually a Phantom himself posing as his Gate, faking his story until his secret was revealed.

I didn't like the soccer episode, so if that mage appears, have him turn Kazuya into a Phantom to make Haruto suffer as he was forced by Wiseman to turn someone into a Phantom.

Give out MORE mages! I don't mean those that look like Riotroopers! Go Blade style somehow!

A witch, an alchemist, a necromancer, a voodoo priestess, a shaman, and an Egyptian sorcerer who does curses. Think of the KR Mages as trainees who Fueki/Wiseman gathered secretly behind Haruto's back.
 
D

Dr Kain

Guest
Instead of Haruto having 4 forms, I would have that there are are four Wizards, one for each of the elements. Them all joining forces together creates the All Dragon Form for Haruto and it is his failure to save a Gate that causes the Infinity ring to be born. M
 
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This is what I would do:

- Make the Sabbath the origin story instead of making the whole story turn around what happened pre-series instead of moving it forwards.

- Make the Phantom win more (they NEVER won in the series) and Wizard win less (maybe limit his forms, The Dragons are just useless).

- Wizeman is the White Mage, we all knew that from episode 5. No need to spend 45 more telling us the contrary.

- Get a better actress for Koyomi, one that has actual expressions, and make her relationship with Haruto one that we can actually relate and cheer upon.

- Maybe remove the human forms on the Phantom...?

That would be it.
 
Shining~
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Even just removing Shunpei would have been a major improvement for Wizard. Rinko also needs to act more like a police and less like someone goofing around because she has nothing better to do.


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Koyomi should have more screen time. I would have hired someone else to play the role, perhaps an even younger girl, so that it is easier to show a brother-sister relationship instead of a romantic one. Think someone like that little girl who has a crush on Chalice, or Kohana minus all the kicks and punches.

Also, her seer ability should be focused more. We never get a real explanation for her crystal ball, other than it is somehow linked to the PlaMonsters. I would have given a focus on that.


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There should have been a Red Mage, or just have the other Mages be not elemental-related.
To be honest, it greatly bothered me that there's a Mage for 3 of 4 elements, but the fourth one is a Wizard that has access to all 4 elements (Yamamoto is Wind, Yuzuru is Water, and Mayu is Earth, yet Haruto has Flame + everything else)

Speaking of Mage, I would actually resolve Mayu's plot. All that build-up and the only thing we get is Holy Ring not even close to wounding Medusa, with Fueki being the one killing Medusa. It's really disappointing. She should have gotten a proper resolution with nothing interfering their battle, heck I would make her the only Mage to gain an advanced form with the help of Holy Ring. Look how Ryu Terui finished his problem with Weather Dopant, that's how it should have been.


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Make more All Dragon scenes. It doesn't make any sense that not only the real midseason upgrade only shows up twice, but also, the second appearance is near the finale, meaning after the debut it doesn't show up again at all until near the end. Not to mention its second appearance is a short one since it's a finisher scene. It kinda defeats the entire point of Drago Timer.


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Beast's story really needs to be changed massively. He's literally in the town just because the food for his Chimera is there. He has no reason otherwise. So I would change that, though I still have no idea what I should change the story into. But I know it needs to be changed.


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And like what everyone said, the Phantoms should win sometimes. Speaking of Phantoms, there should be more female Phantoms. Valkyrie and Arachne should have been female.

Also, use more methods. Seriously, after some episodes the Phantoms' only strategy to create despair is literally just "I'll kill you", and nothing else. The first few episodes are much more creative than that.
 
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I tend to keep things simplistic and abstract...

I don't mind things getting dark, as long as it's more than just depressing. That's pretty much how the later half of Wizard went, and I hated it. Everyone was pretty much whining over Koyomi, and trying to save her, and being all depressed cause of previous failures...
Boo-Friggin-Hoo.
Would you like some cheese with that wine?

I feel like the show really lost its edge because of all this. It could have been a lot more fun, more inspiring, a show to ACTUALLY write home about! We could have explored more about the mythos or lore of how magic works in this universe or what kind of legacies it has created. There was some lost opportunities with Wizard all around. And there were times where it just tried to bank of some of the ideas that Fourze started before hand. Yeah, let's look at Kiva's attempts to copy Den-O and see how well that worked out...

Outside of that, I wouldn't care about any other changes. Just depends on what kind of an audience you are trying to reach out to.
 
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- Just as someone said above, make Koyomi and Haruto an official couple. No implied relationship, no teasing, no "we're just friends", but a dang official relationship. And, while we're at Koyomi... give her more screen time.
- Personally I think the "Koyomi's Phantom run away without killing her" thing is more interesting than the Philosopher stone thing. I'll give that theory a spin if I was in charge :laugh:
- Again, just as someone said above, give Mayu a more developed Rider form. I don't mind Yuzuru and Yamamoto still in Mage form, but at least "evolve" Mayu a little bit :laugh:
- Split Wiseman and White Wizard into different characters.
- and finally... *drum roll* give Flame Dragon an Elemental ability ring (a la Thunder for Hurricane, Gravity for Land, Blizzard for Water)

Seriously, the last one bugged me even more than rest :laugh:
 
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Just throwing one thing out for now:

Give Haruto only the Flame Style at first. Make him meet a Water Wizard, Cyclone Wizard and Land Wizard. He trains with each one in turn, gains a ring for their Style, and has to learn.

Hell, just give them the other Style suits, but throw on a White Wizard-style cloak, just in their color. Use the cloak as a separation of power, a status symbol. You could use that as Haruto's final form, Flame Style with a red cloak.
 
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