HJU Support Hotline

[angelicnoir]

[HIDE]Angie, I feel for you. I'd try to say something inspirational, but I can't really find the words for it. But I'm here. :thumbs:


Alright, as for me. Ever have those moments where real life decides to up and kick you in the face? Well, I got kicked, hard. One thing you must understand before I begin my rant, is that I'm not one who usually gets bothered by things, as I like to be cool, calm, and collected. Over these last few days however, I've lost that ideology, and I don't know if I can reassert myself in that way much longer.

I enjoy toku, enjoy writing, enjoy television, and pretty much all the things that I do that make me, me. But as things have gone on, I began to put these virtues to vices. I have no job, which happens to be my major concern. Today, I got a notice from my bank that I had overdrawn my account by nine dollars and thirteen cents. On top of that, I have a thirty eight dollar charge because of bounce protection. Adding insult to injury, I now have to pay my bank 47.13 for shitty smoothies. On top of that, the car insurance that is to be due this month is actually due next Monday. Right then and there I decided I had to sell some of my toku stuff, not only because I needed the money, but I felt that I had too. I felt that I needed to grow up.

"Life isn't a fairytale."

That quote, that single quote during this whole day of personal reflection had not only snapped me from my vicious reverie, but it made the utmost sense. I doubt I'll be able to accurately describe it in the way that it hit me, but all at once I had found that everything I had done up to this very point in my life, while for fun, had gotten me absolutely nowhere. I was a slacker in school, never wanting to do the work, but making the grades that got me past all the classes. I enjoyed that fact so much, I spent the last two years of high school coasting by, when in reality, I should've studied and studied until my heart and brain exploded. But I didn't, because being a slacker was easy.

I feel so bad, and I want to feel sorry for myself, but I can't, because that isn't proactive. That isn't the right way to go about things. The more I dilly dally, the more time I'll waste before my five year plan becomes the ten, and the ten becomes the fifteen, and the fifteen the twenty.

People strive for success because they want it. Did I falter in favor of some home built fallacy of laziness and gluttony?[/HIDE]

I definitely feel you on that one, B.

I thought I really had to give on all my fandoms and loves and wake myself up and get a "real job" and "grow up". It's still kinda something I have to think about from time to time.

You definitely do have to think about whether the success you want is something you're willing to sacrifice for. For me, I thought that being a librarian will give me some form of legitimacy to be a nerd, but when I started to study and work to be a librarian, I found myself unfulfilled.

I have a firm belief that once you find something to strive for, you really have to work to keep that motivation up and if it means having to sacrifice a few DVDs, then you have to keep telling yourself that it's worth it. I don't think you should be thinking of your own fandoms as the enemy, but don't use them as an excuse not to pick yourself up either (I'm not saying you are, I'm just cautioning... if that makes sense... ).

For now, I realize that I can make my fandoms work for me. Being a little geeky girl is who I am and it's something that someone will eventually love me for and hopefully, one day, someone will pay me for. :sweat:

Don't berate yourself on not being where you thought you'd be, just as long as you keep moving forward and being a better person and working on your goals tomorrow. As Confucius say, "it doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop".

Ganbatte!

(Please note: if I make no sense, I sincerely apologize... I'm working with a lack of sleep for the past few days, :sweat

 

[Tom Constantine]

I have fallen out of love with HJU and the tokusatsu community all together. I can't be bothered to do any translating anymore either.

Either it's me or it's the other way round.

 

[MaraJade]

I think we all sometimes need a kick in the pants to jar us out of stupor and get ourselves moving. Angi, b samurai, and others who are not happy with their lives or have something unsatisfactory or etc., *I don't have major woes, but I have my share of crap* I was reminded HARD about something that we all forget sometimes when we only look at our own myopic points of view. Life, in and by itself, is a GIFT and PRIVILEGE.

Last week, a friend I consider family (my guy and I pretty much adopted her as our unofficial kid), died from an accident. She as headed to her internship in the city. Here's the kicker. SHE was 21.

21. Think about that. Most of us on this board are older than that. And she had her whole life ahead of her. Most of her friends are older than that as she hung with the older crowd. That gave all of us a huge wake up call.

I know right now life can be **** for the present, but really, be thankful and hopeful you guys have that chance to turn it around. Look to the future you know? You guys have one. And as long as that happens, hope and chance exist. Take heart in that.

 

[Kura]

Hey Angie, I just wanted to say I feel for you, too. And I want to let you know it's good that you let your frustration out.

I'm the type of girl that thinks pretty much the same as you.. I value that sort of way to view the value and sex and I'm not one of those club-people/ onenightstanders either. So I can really see why you're feeling like this because I would feel the same in your situation.

I'm almost 21 and never been touched or anything.. but I just guess I feel like I really want to wait for marriage because I'm actually afraid of having that situation happen to me. (I can be a really paranoid person like that.. which I think is one of my biggest flaws.) But I know it'll probably just happen when I'm ready and I love the person that much..

But I want you know I really respect that you're able to vent about this and that I think when you find another man that you love with all your heart, all that past stuff really wont matter anymore because you can only look up from that point and enjoy the new experiences that you will share with your new love. :3


*HUG*

 

[MetalSymphony]

God, B samurais post really made me think this morning......

Full disclosure time, so get ready.

I never finished High School, never graduated. I was in the I.O.P. Program in HS, Essentially it's the class for the Dumb and Learning Disabled students due to the fact i'm a High Functioning Autistic. When other student where learning Algebra and Calculus, i was trying to learn the multiplication tables and failing badly, yet i was outperforming everyone else in the program by far in every other subject. Yet, dispite be even getting on the Honor roll, i could not leave the program, the school district made that almost impossible.

:disappoin

I did seen a few where able to break out, and they had lower grades than i did, so i tried to myself and where slapped down. It seems like, because i have Autism, the school got thousands of dollars from the government every month. If you ask me someone was living off money that was meant to help me learn and they didn't want to lose their cash cow....



But, the program did have some positive aspects. I did a ****-ton of Work Experience in various jobs. From Custodial to Cashier to Gofer to a Kitchen, and it was all good. Plus i filled my spares with Food Studies and ended up doing it for three years, so i became a kind of amateur chef.



As my last year whet on, i pondered what would be next on this path i was locked on by fate. And what i saw i did not like......

Various programs and schools would solicited us in the program, but they all held the same end.......A life of forever working beneath others, always at the bottom of the totem pole. A life of just existing.

I saw this and did not like it one frigging bit. And i was not alone, there was another i knew who also did not want to live her life like that (we later dated, but thats another story). So the end of the year approached, and the rest of the program had already committed to one of these places, we stood high and said 'No'.

:170:

Once the year was up and i had my I.O. Certificate (that is worth less than the paper it's printed on), I Burned that bridge BEFORE i crossed it. Ever since i have been wandering the Riverbank look for another crossing, one that leads to a road that i pave myself.

I have worked since then and they where good jobs. But i lost them all for one reason or another (Downsizing, Going out of Business, fired for punching a belligerent customer etc..). Now i've been out of work for months and i'm starting to wonder if there IS even another way to cross or if i am meant to make my own way.

I still ask why i'm the way i am. Compared to my cousins, who are Engineers, Architects and Diplomats, I'm a uneducated dolt. Yet when we get together i can hold discussions with them on their level like i'm in the same field.

Well, i just sent out applications of various companies/stores. So now all i have to do is see if any bite.....

 

[angelicnoir]

I have fallen out of love with HJU and the tokusatsu community all together. I can't be bothered to do any translating anymore either.

Either it's me or it's the other way round.

What made you fall out of HJU and toku? Was it just the community atmosphere or specific people?

Either way, a break may be in order for you as well as Iga. Granted, it'd be sad to lose another fellow toku fan if a complete break is necessary in the end. :disappoin

-snip-

The fact that you're still here and you're still pushing for something new despite whatever set backs you may have says a lot about your character.

I'm not exactly the best example of my family of nurses, doctors, architects, engineers and business tycoon, either. I'm the kid that just wants to write and still living with her parents. However, I cannot keep living my life always graded with a yard stick, if that makes sense, and neither should any of you.

I know right now life can be **** for the present, but really, be thankful and hopeful you guys have that chance to turn it around. Look to the future you know? You guys have one. And as long as that happens, hope and chance exist. Take heart in that.

Mara, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Someone I knew also passed away in an accident and he was also in his early 20s, so believe me, I understand the shock it gives.

I firmly believe in taking what opportunity life gives me simply for being alive. Trust that 99.9% of the time I am quite adamant about fighting and moving forward for each moment. But I also believe in taking that 0.1% of feeling awful, embracing it, letting it out, then letting it go.

I kinda think of my life as a shounen anime. Sure, most of the time the characters are being badass and moving forward, but there has to be some moments of reflection and angst, right?

Please don't think I'm belittling what you said; quite the contrary. I really hope others also take heart in what little time life really gives us. I hope you're doing well, Mara.

-snip- *HUG*

*hugs back* Thanks, Kura, that does mean a lot.

I wouldn't call you paranoid, just cautious and that's a good thing. It is a very significant thing to be that vulnerable with someone so I also respect your cautious choice. It's such a big risk, but I will say this, the risk is so incredibly worthwhile.

As much as I still get frustrated and find myself a little heartbroken about it from time to time, I am quite thankful that I was able to experience such a passionate love. If I was willing to risk my life for someone I loved, why would risking my happiness be any different?

I'm really looking forward to finding that rare man out there that's worth risking everything again. It's just from time to time, I wish he would get here sooner.

 

[Kura]

Angie, I feel for you. I'd try to say something inspirational, but I can't really find the words for it. But I'm here. :thumbs:


Alright, as for me. Ever have those moments where real life decides to up and kick you in the face? Well, I got kicked, hard. One thing you must understand before I begin my rant, is that I'm not one who usually gets bothered by things, as I like to be cool, calm, and collected. Over these last few days however, I've lost that ideology, and I don't know if I can reassert myself in that way much longer.

I enjoy toku, enjoy writing, enjoy television, and pretty much all the things that I do that make me, me. But as things have gone on, I began to put these virtues to vices. I have no job, which happens to be my major concern. Today, I got a notice from my bank that I had overdrawn my account by nine dollars and thirteen cents. On top of that, I have a thirty eight dollar charge because of bounce protection. Adding insult to injury, I now have to pay my bank 47.13 for shitty smoothies. On top of that, the car insurance that is to be due this month is actually due next Monday. Right then and there I decided I had to sell some of my toku stuff, not only because I needed the money, but I felt that I had too. I felt that I needed to grow up.

"Life isn't a fairytale."

That quote, that single quote during this whole day of personal reflection had not only snapped me from my vicious reverie, but it made the utmost sense. I doubt I'll be able to accurately describe it in the way that it hit me, but all at once I had found that everything I had done up to this very point in my life, while for fun, had gotten me absolutely nowhere. I was a slacker in school, never wanting to do the work, but making the grades that got me past all the classes. I enjoyed that fact so much, I spent the last two years of high school coasting by, when in reality, I should've studied and studied until my heart and brain exploded. But I didn't, because being a slacker was easy.

I feel so bad, and I want to feel sorry for myself, but I can't, because that isn't proactive. That isn't the right way to go about things. The more I dilly dally, the more time I'll waste before my five year plan becomes the ten, and the ten becomes the fifteen, and the fifteen the twenty.

People strive for success because they want it. Did I falter in favor of some home built fallacy of laziness and gluttony?

I can understand where you're coming from, B.. And that's really tough..
Like I told Angie earlier I'm a really paranoid person so sometimes I can worry about "my five year plan" like crazy.. making sure I do things way ahead of time.. but I feel like sometimes that actually sets me back. It's weird going through a phase where a virtue becomes a vice..

But what I can say is that things can be either, I think. It all pretty much comes down to moderation, right?

People can't study their lives out ALL the time, or they wouldn't be enjoying the moment.. but if you're enjoying the moment a bit too much (not studying at all) then you risk not being able to enjoy the moment later.

B, I think you know what you need to do, but remember.. there's not really a point in giving up your loves.. because your loves and passions aren't vices, they make you a more rounded and interesting person. You just need to find time to balance your loves with stuff you don't love so much.. like work.

I hope your situation starts to look up, though! <3

 

[MaraJade]

~snip
Mara, etc.

Response is in Hidden Tags cuz it's long.

[HIDE]Thanks Angi, yeah, it's pretty fresh, but we're all coping and dealing with it. One thing I can say about her was she really grabbed life by the balls and lived it fully and freely. Yeah, I'm doing ok. I have a wonderful bf who really is my pillar and the circle of friends who knew her; we all remember her together and are letting the grieving process go its way. So it's not all bottled inside.

Kura and Angie both, I guess...I was 25 when I had my first and only bf, who is now the love of my life. Before that, yeah, I had a few guys who I liked, crushed, etc, but nothing too serious. The somewhat serious one ended pretty badly, but we never were gf/bf. Heck, I never even kissed him. lol. But in the end, the guy pretty much two-timed me. After that, I was really burned too because he was the most serious I had ever gotten with a guy in my life thus far and believed he could be that special person.

After that, I didn't let another guy in my life for 5 years. The next one I did, (although more accurately, he pursued and hunted me down), well, I guess I struck gold. I was terrifed and skeptical as hell at first, but it was worth the wait. I was the kind of girl that really didn't care about guys as far as relationships go, but I had a ton of guy friends. More than girlfriends. I got along easier and better with guys than girls. But that didn't mean that I wasn't a female and aware of my need for companionship. And it's idealistic, I know, but I wanted to wait because I really wanted to only ever date, court and marry one guy.

Believe me, I know it's hard being different from most of the other female populace, but I can tell you so many stories of watching my friends who go through guy after guy and relationship after relationship that's leaves them heartbroken and jaded.

I waited and it was worth it. The guy I am with now is the man of my dreams and love of my life, and my first kiss, my first bf, and in process of becoming my husband. I do firmly believe there are people out there that you can make that kind of connection with. But that does involve risk. We both risked a helluva lot in our relationship. Was it hard? hell yeah, at times, we wanted to call it quits. Was their pain? Oh yeah, we probably hurt each other more deeply than any because we were that vulnerable to each other, but all those risks and vulnerablilty we took really led in the end to the best thing in each of our lives. I do encourage both of you to not lose hope and to keep an open mind. You never know where it's going to come from. Good luck with the future girls.[/HIDE]

 

[Keith Justice]

I have fallen out of love with HJU and the tokusatsu community all together. I can't be bothered to do any translating anymore either.

Either it's me or it's the other way round.

Is it because I haven't put out yet? I told you I'm just not ready....

 

[Ragna &quot;D&quot; BloodEdge]

If we have to depend on that, nothing'll EVER get done...:rimshot: