~Help Please~ girl thinks i'm stalking her..

Ask me any questions you feel will help you help me.

King of Heart5: hi?
DirtBikeGurl47: hey
King of Heart5: listen, i don't know what/if the issue is, but i'd like to resolve it..
DirtBikeGurl47: what issue?
King of Heart5: well
King of Heart5: i'm sorta suprised/yet sort of not that you don't know what i'm talking about
King of Heart5: this is not very recent, but during one of the last tuesday night rehersals joel came up to me out of the blue and basically threatened me
King of Heart5: claimed i was harassing you and that you wanted to report me or some out of left field garbage
DirtBikeGurl47: how? what did he say?
King of Heart5: if you really don't know what i'm talking about, that sure puts an interesting spin on things
DirtBikeGurl47: no i think i know what he means
DirtBikeGurl47: its just that every time i turn around you are always there
DirtBikeGurl47: really close or looking at me and or him and it freaks me out
King of Heart5: if i was doing anything, it was completely unintentional
King of Heart5: and I apologize
DirtBikeGurl47: it doesn't seem that way
DirtBikeGurl47: it seems at least a couple of times a day you are akwardly there
DirtBikeGurl47: i mean it's not just me who notices it
King of Heart5: i had no idea what he was talking about, but that's why i have been completely evasive these last few weeks
DirtBikeGurl47: kit's also my other friends who are around me as well
King of Heart5: odd as it sounds, it seems as if i do bump into you guys often and it's not by design
DirtBikeGurl47: and obvioyusly joel notices it because were going out
DirtBikeGurl47: and he may get offended by it
King of Heart5: i mean, sorry if i'm walking to the gym and that's where your locker is, but come on
DirtBikeGurl47: no it's niot just that
DirtBikeGurl47: i'll be walking up the stairs and it seems like you'll almost do a freaking circle just to see me
DirtBikeGurl47: or wakl behind me and i get the wtf look from joel and other people im walking with
DirtBikeGurl47: it's not just by my locker
King of Heart5: if it seems i've been shutting you out lately, it's because i did not WANT any problems
King of Heart5: when would i have done that...
DirtBikeGurl47: enough for me and the poeple i walk with to notcie
King of Heart5: jeez, do you hate me that much? what did i ever do
DirtBikeGurl47: it just seems that you are following me everywhere and it bothers me andn creeps me out
King of Heart5: i've even been avoiding eye contact with you...
DirtBikeGurl47: really i haven't noticed
King of Heart5: I'm not, but believe what you want, it's not like anybody listens to me anyway
King of Heart5: or that what i say's gonna change what you think
King of Heart5: and I REALLY don't like your friends even talking to me, because it's NEVER anything i want to hear
DirtBikeGurl47: what are you takling about
DirtBikeGurl47: its not like i can control what they say to you..who are you talking about
King of Heart5: idk, gina, whoever that other girl you hang out with a lot..
DirtBikeGurl47: yeah well gina's like that she's ***** sometimes and thats that
King of Heart5: yep.
DirtBikeGurl47: i can control them
King of Heart5: ^
DirtBikeGurl47: i can't tell them ok gina and other friend that i hang out with a lot do not make fun of these people
King of Heart5: i understand that
DirtBikeGurl47: they do it when im not even in the room
DirtBikeGurl47: why do you hold me responsible for that just because im friends with them
King of Heart5: I apoligize if you think i've been stalking you, but i have not

and i don't hold you responsible for your friends or joel
King of Heart5: it came up in conversation is all
DirtBikeGurl47: but you have been
DirtBikeGurl47: everyone notices it
DirtBikeGurl47: what did joel do/say?
King of Heart5: everyone but me apparently
King of Heart5: i don't recall word for word, but something about how if i didn't "stop" he was gonna to to mr. lee or some ****
King of Heart5: and I didn't know what to say to him honestly
DirtBikeGurl47: well it is harrassment
DirtBikeGurl47: how did he threaten you?
DirtBikeGurl47: he's just concerned because he's noticed you around me akwardly a lot im just taking a guess but im sure he was just trying to tell you to back off nicely
DirtBikeGurl47: and the consequece if you didn't
King of Heart5: well joel's never nice
King of Heart5: not to me anyway
King of Heart5: what is it YOU want from me
King of Heart5: and has "this" been happening recently that you've noticed?
DirtBikeGurl47: i want you not to follow me strangley or show up whenever im in the hallway or make it a point to turn around and wakl by me or around me
DirtBikeGurl47: this has been happening for at least a couple of months
King of Heart5: ok, so by your calculations, if i never ever see you in my vision again, then I won't be harassing you... -_-
King of Heart5: sorry, i was being an idiot just then
DirtBikeGurl47: no if you don't make it a point in your day to go out of your way to see me or walk close to me
DirtBikeGurl47: it freaks me out
King of Heart5: but if you're in a hallway i'm taking i'm not gonna turn around and go on the complete other direction for you
DirtBikeGurl47: no oyu make it a point to turn around and go the same
King of Heart5: PS, it wasn't my choice to sit closer to you in band today, Kerstyn had to talk to grace -_-
DirtBikeGurl47: you know what i don't fucking care anymore you do whatever you want cause obviously ywhat i am saying doesn't matter to you
King of Heart5: i'll just continue to stay far away since we obviously can't be friends
DirtBikeGurl47: w/e i don't want to talk about this
King of Heart5: well idecided to finally confront you about this and of course it ends unresolved
King of Heart5: why do i waste my time
DirtBikeGurl47: w/e
DirtBikeGurl47 is away at 10:06:37 PM.
DirtBikeGurl47 returned at 10:08:09 PM.
DirtBikeGurl47 signed off at 10:08:12 PM.

:redface2:
 
Welcome to the world of confusing women, dude.

I once was accused of stalking someone for less than that <_<

If you find that confusing or odd, my ex was/is stranger.

My current love interest is also a bit confusing....scratch that, she's a freaking enigma....<_<
 

Kouji Kabuto

Mazin...Go!
Note that I say this without personally knowing the parties involved.

You have to publicly confront Joel and tell him that you aren't doing anything and that if he's paranoid enough to think that any innocent thing you do is a threat to him then he obviously has no f*cking balls. I mean, you can't accuse a guy for being "awkwardly" there. Now if you were following them around even after school or work or something, THAT's stalking.

Oh, and don't bother talking to the girl about it... or anymore. Not worth it if some poison from others is affecting your friendship.

"DirtBikeGurl47: why do you hold me responsible for that just because im friends with them" - that line just pissed me off.

Pretend she doesn't exist. That'll either feed their paranoia more or it'll let them realize the truth.

Either way, it shouldn't matter to you anymore.
 
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Bolt

boogie woogie feng shui
I have a question.

Are you stalking her? That does seem like a shitload of coincidence, and I don't believe in coincidence.

Even if you have to pass by her to go to class or whatever, anytime you see her on campus, just act like you don't notice her or make it a habit to just be talking to someone when you're around her.

Joel doesn't need to be confronted, he did the right thing. If my girlfriend thought she was being stalked I'd say something too.

Bottom line is, you can't blame it on girls being "stupid" or "confusing"; if you're freaking her out, that's your bad. Even if it doesn't seem to be crossing your line it might be crossing hers. I'm not calling you out, but step off if you're doing something you know may spook her, like the staring.

Do you like her?
 

VengeanceGOD

WIIIIIIIIIIII!
My instinct in that situation would be to completely **** with them, but you shouldn't listen to my instincts.

Just ignore her entirely. Put her as far out of your life as possible. Make every effort to not aknowledge her existence, and if she still flips out, she's just a freak.

After reading Bolt, who posted right as I did...it is a valid question. I'm assuming since you posted this here asking for help that everything she said is not, in fact true, but just to clarify, you AREN'T doing that stuff, right?

I have a problem where I stare at people accidentally...my eyes just naturally land on a person's face when I'm zoning out as opposed to, say, a wall. Really freaked my girlfriend out before we dated...could it be something like that?
 

keithjustice

Administrator
Staff member
I haven't read all of this, but listen to Bolt. Sometimes it CAN be your fault. Hell, in my younger days I've been there... totally didn't see it at the time. :sweat:
 

SaikoDragon

It's Judgement Time!
Bottom line is you instigated the issue further by confronting her. You did the right thing at first by apologizing and asking what the "deal" was. But you dropped the ball the minute you started your whole "well I admit we bump into each other alot hur hur" line. Huge mistake. In that whole conversation you come off as overly defensive and guilty. To me, that's my observation.

She's a little paranoid, so why argue with her? If it were me? I would have just said "I'm sorry, chill, I'll try not to bother you. Don't spaz and if you're BF threatens me, I can contact the school staff for you to resolve this issue."

She told you the problem. Her BF confronted you. She said that she felt uncomfortable by the fact that you seem to be around her more often than she's ok with.

Honestly, the way she says it, she might have a point man. Don't go out of your way to avoid her but you should respect her feelings and say "Sure, I'll try to back off."

You admit yourself you end up bumping into her often. Why dont you make it a habit to just avoid her? Just for the **** of it. Just to humor her. There's nothing confusing about this. She's uncomfortable around you. Why make it worse by confronting her more? Avoid her when and where possible.

Now, if you need to go down a certain hall and she happens to be in it, go down that hall anyway. Just dont look at her, dont stop and make a scene. Dont be a ***** about it, just walk on by and keep living your life.

It's not hard. It would probably be best if you didnt talk to her on AIM anymore either. If further problems come up at school, bring the issue to a counselor, parent, or another authority figure that can help you.

If she's in one or more of your classes, walk in, sit down where you normally sit and just move on with your life. Dont look at her and dont talk to her. She obviously wants nothing to do with you so dont give her the time of day.

Kouji Kabuto said:
You have to publicly confront Joel and tell him that you aren't doing anything and that if he's paranoid enough to think that any innocent thing you do is a threat to him then he obviously has no f*cking balls.
Yey!! Strife, do what this guy says if you want a fight to break out. If that's how you roll, if you want a pissing contest and a fist fight, go for it. Tell him he has no balls because he wants to protect his girl friend from potential creeps. You might not be a creep but how's he supposed to know that?

The BF wants nothing to do with you because you make his GF feel uneasy. So back off and let the paranoid kids calm down.

Kouji Kabuto said:
"DirtBikeGurl47: why do you hold me responsible for that just because im friends with them" - that line just pissed me off.
Why? o_O; She made an excellent point which I felt made Strife look a bit obsessive. She can't control her friends. She can't tell them what to do. If they're picking on you, Strife, then confront THEM. Not her. Call THEM a ***** to their face. Or whatever you want to say to them.

Why do you expect her to do something? She's not going to protect you from her own friends. Why even bring it up in that matter.

School Drama. It's so cute.

Kouji Kabuto said:
Pretend she doesn't exist. That'll either feed their paranoia more or it'll let them realize the truth.

Either way, it shouldn't matter to you anymore.
Exactly. That's all you have to do Strife. Toss it behind you, forget you even know her and move on with your life.

Dont confront the BF, dont confront her, and dont confront her friends. Just go on with your life.

Bolt said:
Bolt is a life sazer, I agree with that post 100%. Listen to him.
 

Mikazuki

Banned
My advice - stay away from her. She's playing a game and she's trying to get you into trouble with the guys she's with. If she was THAT threatened by you or felt like you were stalked, she'd tell you to back off and leave her alone BEFORE you approached her OR she'd have gone to the school officials about it. Find different routes to your classes, if possible, and also if possible discuss the situation with your school counselor and give him/her a heads up on this.
 
I'm not stalking her. :disappoin

I have felt her somewhat attractive, but ever since her choice of BF has turned my opinion very sour...the guys a tall dumb drumline jackass IMO. He's never been nice (for lack of a better word) to me.

VengeanceGOD said:
I have a problem where I stare at people accidentally...my eyes just naturally land on a person's face when I'm zoning out as opposed to, say, a wall. Really freaked my girlfriend out before we dated...could it be something like that?
That has happened to me on occasion, but not neccessarially with her.

And so far, most of this has been very good advice.

if possible discuss the situation with your school counselor and give him/her a heads up on this.
He never does **** anyway. :redface2:
 

SaikoDragon

It's Judgement Time!
Duelist Strife said:
He never does **** anyway. :redface2:
Well if it becomes a problem that starts having her BF breathing down your neck and making YOU feel uncomfortable, you should at least try to speak with a counselor. Even if they do nothing, at least you went to them and talked. You can say "I went for help and none was given" should something occur.

Duelist Strife said:
I'm not stalking her. :disappoin
Well I dont think you are intentionally. But perhaps subconciously you are. You admitted a physical attraction and you made a pretty weird comment that you hated her choice of BF. Why should you care who she chooses to date? Either way, it does sound like you've noticed her more than you would any other person. And she's feeling uncomfortable with that.

So best to just keep your distance for a while and forget you even knew her.
 

Mikazuki

Banned
Duelist Strife said:
He never does **** anyway. :redface2:
Regardless if he'll do something or not, by law he has to keep it on file in the event the situation becomes worse. Like GrnPsychoGarren said, it'll give you something in case something bad happens. It'd be in your best interest to let him know of the situation so he can make a note about it and if the girl tries any more of her, "poor me, look at me - he's bothering me" crap with the boyfriend then at least you'll have it in your favor that you reported it first. It'll make her look like she looking for attention.
 

ForeverRed

has left HJU. Not coming back.
Bolt said:
I have a question.

Are you stalking her? That does seem like a shitload of coincidence, and I don't believe in coincidence.

Even if you have to pass by her to go to class or whatever, anytime you see her on campus, just act like you don't notice her or make it a habit to just be talking to someone when you're around her.

Joel doesn't need to be confronted, he did the right thing. If my girlfriend thought she was being stalked I'd say something too.

Bottom line is, you can't blame it on girls being "stupid" or "confusing"; if you're freaking her out, that's your bad. Even if it doesn't seem to be crossing your line it might be crossing hers. I'm not calling you out, but step off if you're doing something you know may spook her, like the staring.

Do you like her?
Bolt does have a good point on this. I agree with Bolt, 100%. Plus GrnPyshco has a good point for that as well. Listen to both, Bolt and GrnPsycho. Take their advices.


I have a friend who is being stalked by a guy at my work. He was following her for one hour. She realised that he was stalking her. She rushed to the breakroom.

Last Monday night, a guy arrived and she ran away. She was scared and cried, so she had to go to the breakroom and she had to wait until a guy to leave my work. That's why she hid in the breakroom.

That distrubs and pisses me off. ALOT. So are the others from my work, too.
 

SaikoDragon

It's Judgement Time!
ForeverRed said:
Last Monday night, a guy arrived and she ran away. She was scared and cried, so she had to go to the breakroom and she had to wait until a guy to leave my work. That's why she hid in the breakroom.

That distrubs and pisses me off. ALOT. So are the others from my work, too.
Sheet... that disturbs me too. Where do you work? Isnt there any form of security there or...? If the guy continually comes by you can call the cops or maybe confront him.

Some girls overpower the stalker by feeling helpless. But there are a lot of stalkers who are more timid and scitish than they appear. If you confront them, they back down because they know they have been caught. don't give them power by showing them you are afraid.

You should help your friend by encouraging her to confront him. Get loud. Never speak in a low voice. Talk loudly to him and help him find what he needs so he can leave peacefully. Keep an observing eye on him and make him know he's being watched. Stalkers dont want to be watched they want to be the watchers. If you persist, they back off.

Well... usually anyway.
 
Mikazuki said:
My advice - stay away from her. She's playing a game and she's trying to get you into trouble with the guys she's with. If she was THAT threatened by you or felt like you were stalked, she'd tell you to back off and leave her alone BEFORE you approached her OR she'd have gone to the school officials about it. Find different routes to your classes, if possible, and also if possible discuss the situation with your school counselor and give him/her a heads up on this.
Go with this, minus the counselor bit. Being a HS student myself, I know how useless they are. Don't give yourself the headache of dealing with this girl or her bf. Don't act like anything's wrong, just avoid her as best you can.
 

Z-Unit

Member
Wemon are very unpredictable, one minute you and her are sharing a cup of coffe at the near by Starbucks, the next she's giving you the 4 finger slap then says the two, most fatal words in a relationship.''We're over''.Some wemon are just plain gold diggers, searching for that one man that can give them a large amount of cash every ten seconds.Some wemon just don't have their heads on their shoulders.Always with a new man every week, just don't know where to go for their love.This girl you talk of is no real love, wasting time on a girl that seems even a tiny bit wrong will spell trouble later on.The salty sea of love has no room that fresh water shark with a hunger for trouble.
 

ForeverRed

has left HJU. Not coming back.
GrnPsychoGarren said:
Sheet... that disturbs me too. Where do you work? Isnt there any form of security there or...? If the guy continually comes by you can call the cops or maybe confront him.
I works at Video store and yes, they do have security and include video, too.

When he arrives to the video store, my friend will be rush to the breakroom and hide.

Some girls overpower the stalker by feeling helpless. But there are a lot of stalkers who are more timid and scitish than they appear. If you confront them, they back down because they know they have been caught. don't give them power by showing them you are afraid.
It happened alot in the world. I wish it never ever happens alot. :disappoin

That pisses me off ENTIRELY. I hate when some men are stalking some women. That sucks completely.

I watched alot of movies that has been aired in LIFETIME CHANNEL. Some movies are true story. Like... Video Voyeur: The Susan Wilson Story and others...etc.
 
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