Tami Stronach. whom you might know better as the ruler of all storybook fantasy in 1984’s The Never Ending Story, is back. Childlike Empress is no longer quite so childlike, but that just means she has the adult freedom to make her OWN Never Ending Story, and that’s just what she’s gonna do.

Stronach is producing, and starring in, Man & Witch…something she calls a “lo-fi fantasy film.” What that means is that all the effects will be practical and all the locations will exist on Earth, just as the fantasy classics of the 80s were made. The Goonies’ Sean Astin and Lost’s Michael Emerson are also getting involved, and more importantly, so is Jim Henson’s Creature Shop.

The cast of Man & Witch includes several animals, and with the aid of the Creature Shop they will talk. Astin is playing Dog, presumably a dog (they could throw us a curveball and make it the name of a cat).

I gotta be honest here. I’ve always found the concept of Childlike Empress rather unnerving. Think about this. She’s “childlike,” not an actual child, so she could actually be 87,339 years old. Who….does she date? Both a kid or a full-grown adult would raise the same issues. Can she get pregnant? Just….a mountain of ughs. In that terrible direct-to-video sequel, they aged Childlike Empress into a teenager for unexplained reasons and just called her “Empress.” It’s the one thing from that movie I’m fine with.

If nature permits, Man & Witch could begin filming as soon as this fall. We’d like to wish Stronach luck in her endeavor. Maybe we could send her one of these.